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She complains due to traffic in her daily commute, it takes her 1.5 hours to get to work.
She has been spending 3 hours a day over the past 3 years commuting...I can assure you this would depress anyone especially when they have to return to a house they don't like.
You should not bring a child into this situation. It's good that she's not interested in sex, because you don't need a pregnancy, then a baby thrown into this mix.
Excellent point...besides the world is overpopulated and there are millions of kids that need adopting.
He says she is exagerating and it is just 45 minutes. That's not bad.
Life with a complainer is tough. No matter how hard you try to not let it affect you, it drags you down. They suck you in their self created misery and slowly eat up all your energy.
Not much you can do other than drag her to the doctor and stuff some happy pills into her. I don't think that marriage counseling will be enough. They might be making her more willing to accept compromises in the marriage but they will not make her a more happy person in general.
I will try to encourage her to either seek prof. assistance or to at least allow us to go and see a counselor together. Do I want to be a martyr, no. I am just hoping it's a phase and she (or we) we seek assistance in moving past this issue.
In terms of the traffic, it's not an 1.5 hours each way, that is what she says. It's about 45 mins. It's a total of 15 miles. This is Long Island here. Everyone does the traffic routine. I do it as well. This is not an uncommon issue. Granted, before she moved in, she did live a mile away from work. There is nothing I can do about that. Most people work in the city. Before moving in, she did, for a couple of years, go back and forth to work from the house. This was known from dating seven years or so ago. Before the construction, it was about 20 - 25 mins. Because of construction, it's around double. I have no control over that. She can try the southern state, but she doesn't like that route either. It makes her dizzy or something on some of the roads. It will be done in about a year. Then, back to normal traffic patterns.
I will try to encourage her to either seek prof. assistance or to at least allow us to go and see a counselor together. Do I want to be a martyr, no. I am just hoping it's a phase and she (or we) we seek assistance in moving past this issue.
In terms of the traffic, it's not an 1.5 hours each way, that is what she says. It's about 45 mins. It's a total of 15 miles. This is Long Island here. Everyone does the traffic routine. I do it as well. This is not an uncommon issue. Granted, before she moved in, she did live a mile away from work. There is nothing I can do about that. Most people work in the city. Before moving in, she did, for a couple of years, go back and forth to work from the house. This was known from dating seven years or so ago. Before the construction, it was about 20 - 25 mins. Because of construction, it's around double. I have no control over that. She can try the southern state, but she doesn't like that route either. It makes her dizzy or something on some of the roads. It will be done in about a year. Then, back to normal traffic patterns.
And then she will find something else to complain about.
In terms of the traffic, it's not an 1.5 hours each way, that is what she says.
Very odd, why she needs to insist it's 1.5 hours if is not true...
Moving may help or even fix the whole thing, you don't have to sell your house, you can rent it, with losses most probably unfortunately.
Regarding the money, she is not being fair with you my friend. Even if I wouldn't accept it if I was marrying someone, I can understand the concept of a marriage where each one have its own money and expenses, but when doing things together everything should be 50/50.
Regarding the sex... bad signal. Women doesn't just give up sex in their 40's, soon or late she will have a fling with another guy. Please don't be naive on this.
Good luck my friend!
Last edited by stackoverflow; 05-29-2015 at 04:17 PM..
Seriously. Complaining about traffic on Long Island is like complaining that the sky is blue. I used to commute from Rocky Point to Garden City, so mea culpa... but do you think she may be angling to quit working altogether? Makes sense why she'd be asking for a baby, since that's one way to expedite the plan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostinwife
I will try to encourage her to either seek prof. assistance or to at least allow us to go and see a counselor together. Do I want to be a martyr, no. I am just hoping it's a phase and she (or we) we seek assistance in moving past this issue.
In terms of the traffic, it's not an 1.5 hours each way, that is what she says. It's about 45 mins. It's a total of 15 miles. This is Long Island here. Everyone does the traffic routine. I do it as well. This is not an uncommon issue. Granted, before she moved in, she did live a mile away from work. There is nothing I can do about that. Most people work in the city. Before moving in, she did, for a couple of years, go back and forth to work from the house. This was known from dating seven years or so ago. Before the construction, it was about 20 - 25 mins. Because of construction, it's around double. I have no control over that. She can try the southern state, but she doesn't like that route either. It makes her dizzy or something on some of the roads. It will be done in about a year. Then, back to normal traffic patterns.
Seriously. Complaining about traffic on Long Island is like complaining that the sky is blue. I used to commute from Rocky Point to Garden City, so mea culpa... but do you think she may be angling to quit working altogether? Makes sense why she'd be asking for a baby, since that's one way to expedite the plan.
Ooooh, shrewd observation! But does she really want a baby? She doesn't want to do the sex that's involved in creating a baby. She wants a test tube baby. This is a very troubled cookie. She's in no psychological state to nurture an infant. Having a baby will not solve her problems. It's not a magic bullet. The OP isn't going to be left with much in the way of options if she doesn't agree to counseling, and couples counseling won't help resolve her depression.
OP, when did this depression come on? When did you first notice symptoms?
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