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Old 01-22-2008, 01:51 PM
 
22,178 posts, read 19,217,049 times
Reputation: 18308

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I guess the biggest red flag for me in the opening post is her saying she broke up with him by e-mail, and then is upset because he doesn't "fight to get her back." Who would sign up for that drama, and to be a door mat? What about taking someone at their word as what they want, instead of crazy-making second-guessing saying the opposite of what you mean? Exhausting to even read about.
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Old 01-22-2008, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,038,202 times
Reputation: 13472
I would like someone to beat the crap out of me .....

But what I really mean is: I want someone to bake me a chocolate cake!
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Old 01-26-2008, 09:25 PM
 
123 posts, read 351,676 times
Reputation: 98
it was 5am...and i thot emails are better cause i can never do it in person... lame excuse. i know.

bumped into him last friday nite...we shook hands! talk abt bringing it to another new level
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Old 01-26-2008, 09:29 PM
 
123 posts, read 351,676 times
Reputation: 98
btw Miu- am 22years old.He's 24.

I'm Gemini and his star sign is Sagi.

AND IM NOT CANADIAN!
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Old 01-26-2008, 09:53 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,171,028 times
Reputation: 18106
Quote:
Originally Posted by princ3ss06 View Post
btw Miu- am 22years old.He's 24.

I'm Gemini and his star sign is Sagi.

AND IM NOT CANADIAN!
Just a thought, and it's not meant to be mean, but your posts are typed out like a teenager. At 22, you are a young lady now and there is no need to act like a cute girlie teenager. Act like an adult and you will be treated as an adult and taken more seriously. I think some of this styling of yours is because you are used to messenger chats and texting. But I think that if you can get into the habit of being more formal in your internet communication, you will be treated with more respect.

Also, no one likes to be dumped by phone or email. Have the courtesy to do that in person, calmly and stating your reasons and allowing the other person to defend themselves.

Well, be yourself, but also consider that you are now 22 years old and not a kid anymore. If you can act more maturely and consistently in the future, perhaps you can salvage your relationship with this guy. Just be aware that most other people do not enjoy an emotional rollercoaster ride of a relationship. Excitement and passion are all well and good, but no one wants an erratic partner that keeps changing their mind about how things are going. They also don't want a partner that is inconsiderate of their feelings, and that's how you came across when you abruptly broke up with him by email at 5am.
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Old 01-26-2008, 10:08 PM
 
123 posts, read 351,676 times
Reputation: 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Just a thought, and it's not meant to be mean, but your posts are typed out like a teenager. At 22, you are a young lady now and there is no need to act like a cute girlie teenager. Act like an adult and you will be treated as an adult and taken more seriously. I think some of this styling of yours is because you are used to messenger chats and texting. But I think that if you can get into the habit of being more formal in your internet communication, you will be treated with more respect.

Also, no one likes to be dumped by phone or email. Have the courtesy to do that in person, calmly and stating your reasons and allowing the other person to defend themselves.

Well, be yourself, but also consider that you are now 22 years old and not a kid anymore. If you can act more maturely and consistently in the future, perhaps you can salvage your relationship with this guy. Just be aware that most other people do not enjoy an emotional rollercoaster ride of a relationship. Excitement and passion are all well and good, but no one wants an erratic partner that keeps changing their mind about how things are going. They also don't want a partner that is inconsiderate of their feelings, and that's how you came across when you abruptly broke up with him by email at 5am.

Hi Miu,

Thank you for your note. I do type out my work emails in proper, formal English. I thought that the same need not apply in forums seeing how used we are to IM text in this day and age.

Anyway, your last paragraph there kinda woke me up.I guess there's not much for me to do now except to get on with life.. I just thought that I had at least meant something more to him. I did realiseD the day after sending out that email that I shouldnt have done so but it was too late by then. Shouldnt people who are really in love forgive and forget? Especially when both are so new to relationships?

Well, at least that was the kind of ending I was going for.
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Old 01-26-2008, 10:54 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,171,028 times
Reputation: 18106
Quote:
Originally Posted by princ3ss06 View Post
Hi Miu,

Thank you for your note. I do type out my work emails in proper, formal English. I thought that the same need not apply in forums seeing how used we are to IM text in this day and age.
Well typing in proper English shows respect. And this forum in particular, attracts adults of all ages. And because I am way older than you, proper English is all I've ever typed in. It actually is very hard for me to dumb down my posts to a texting level. What kind of English did you type that breakup email in?

Quote:
Anyway, your last paragraph there kinda woke me up.I guess there's not much for me to do now except to get on with life.. I just thought that I had at least meant something more to him. I did realiseD the day after sending out that email that I shouldnt have done so but it was too late by then. Shouldnt people who are really in love forgive and forget? Especially when both are so new to relationships?

Well, at least that was the kind of ending I was going for.
Well about forgiveness, it's not like you sent that email and then minutes later emailed him again and said oops, my bad, I was having a terrible night without you. I'm sorry that I took it out on you, please forgive me. Instead from this post of yours:
at tt point in time, i really thot i can do it. but alas, i cant. maybe i cant stand e fact tt he seems so cool wif it. he didnt even call or texted me explaining himself or fighting for us to get back together."

You also said that he doesn't like to argue back and forth. So this kind of guy is not going to want a drama queen girlfriend and he wasn't interested in begging you to take him back. All you can do is act maturely every time you see him, this will help show him that you won't pull this sort of stunt again. You need to earn his trust back.

As to love, you didn't date him long enough for either of you to be in real love with each other. It was a fun fling that didn't worked out for either of you. Somehow, he made you made enough that night for you to want to breakup with him immediately and he didn't like your breakup email. And since another guy hasn't appeared in your dating life yet, you miss his male company. I think that right after the breakup email, had another guy been interested in dating you, you would have moved on.

And there is more to love and a good relationship than having great sex and partying well together. It also seems that women think themselves in true love sooner than the men do.
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Old 01-26-2008, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Philippines
1,961 posts, read 4,385,029 times
Reputation: 2781
Most adults, even if they are in "love" don't really want to play that game.
I guess the lesson is to not say things you don't mean.
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Old 02-01-2008, 01:30 PM
 
61 posts, read 251,302 times
Reputation: 40
I am sorry but I have to say she found one of "US" and when I say "US" its kind that doesn't care if you go flying off the handle and will blow you off like water rolling off a ducks back.
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