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Sounds like you're being taken for a ride. You barely know this chick and she wants you move in, pay half the rent, and you get to hook up with other girls (and even though she might feel a little jealous she'll be cool) and you can continue to hook up with her too? And the only drawback is she'll be dating other dudes?
She sounds a little nuts. But she's 21 so that's understandable to some extent.
You didn't say how old you are...
Most girls, even young ones who just want to have fun, don't want to be Sleeparound Sue...dating and hooking up with dudes while living with a dude they're hooking up with. You seem a little desperate, but like you know better. It seems like you might wind up footing the bill for your sex buddy's flings. You want her to be your girlfriend but she wants to play the field. How long do you think that's going to last? Either she'll meet someone who won't be cool with you being her back-up sex, or you'll find another girl and have to deal with her jealousy while living together.
There are several theories I could float, but to bottom line it for you: this chick is nuts, don't so it.
I would also suggest you to establish some rules with this girl before you move in.
Remember, rules that can't be enforced are meaningless. So each rule should come with some sort of enforcement clause. Some rules should incur a small punishment such as doing all the dishes for a week or $20 paid immediately; others should allow either party to move out without financial obligation i.e. the other party refuses to honor the small punishment.
For example, "you would be guaranteed to have sex at a certain frequency" would be a good rule to have. :-) Breaking that and if not cured for X amount of time, it should allow you to move out without having to pay the rest of the lease.
Please do not trade anything for sexual favor. Sex should remain free. I know it's a little contradicting to my sample rule above. :-) Don't list a rule that says if she doesn't do the dishes, you receive a BJ a week. That's stupid as pretty soon you will be doing everything.
Last edited by lifeexplorer; 06-01-2015 at 09:23 AM..
Why is living with this person the only way to get out of your mother's house? Don't you have a job? Was your plan all along to live with your mom until a drama-filled situation came along?
This is interesting, I've also gotten to know someone who has the OP-girlfriend's lifestyle and told me a bit about it. She basically has a boyfriend, but they both see and have sex with others. The boyfriend has even gone on vacation with another woman recently. I've since been trying to wrap my head around how this arrangement works, and why someone would want it.
To the OP I offer this advice: Figure out what you like about this woman, and why. Write that stuff down so you can see it. Then figure out if you want to move in with her... and why. Then lastly address the "open relationship" concept... what do you like about it and what don't you like about it? I'd then meet up with your girlfriend and talk to her asking her those questions (about you). I suspect her answers will enlighten you as much as your own answers (which I recommend you keep to yourself unless she asks you for them).
I JUST read a post from the OP re: still living with his mother... that makes the whole thing with this thread much more interesting... Now I am under the impression that the young lady in question is offering to help the OP out by permitting him to move in and pay half rent. This does change things. To me it makes it clear that she has a good heart and good intentions and she has declared how if things go south after you move in that you and her are allowed to see others (she's trying to make you feel more secure about moving in). There's a serious problem with that thinking though... it doesn't work. When things go south relationship-wise you will be out on your ass looking for another place to live, having to move all your stuff, having to do so on a timeframe she will likely set. Not cool... been there, done that. A much better alternative is to either make the best out of living with your mother or to move out into a situation where your name is on the lease and bills so that relationship woes don't escalate to you needing to move.
Why is living with this person the only way to get out of your mother's house? Don't you have a job? Was your plan all along to live with your mom until a drama-filled situation came along?
Because i don't makr enough to pay 700.00 a month for rent
So get roommates. Ones you aren't sleeping with. Most everyone has roommates right out of college. Plenty do well into their 30s.
^^^this^^^
For real brother - having sex with your landlord who will potentially want to bring other guys in to have sex with after dates?... step back, breathe, and be pragmatic... it will be good while it is good, but when something like a simple fight happens... you will be the one compelled to leave since it will be your girlfriend's place.
I mean out of my mom's house which i can hardly stand too be at anymore. No more driving 45 miles to work
Well then do it!!
One word of advice... Get a signed agreement with her that you will pay $300 a month on the first of every month. Put in the agreement that you can leave without notice at any time.
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