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I just signed up for OLD a few days ago with a real profile. I only have one picture up, but my profile is detailed. I know I should put more pictures up, but I'm working on it. I don't know if that's the problem though.
-The ones that I contact and look forward to hearing from doesn't ever reply back. They look at my profile and probably figure that they're not interested. It hurts my ego and makes me wonder what's wrong with me.
-I will get winks, get favorited, and get some emails, but none of which interest me.
-A guy who winked at me has a somewhat interesting profile, but shows no pictures and he keeps sending me daily short messages. I am cutting him off today because he still hasn't sent me any pictures and now I feel like I'm talking to a creep. Out of all the questions, he asks me where am I at? He is on there practically all day, but doesn't send me any messages that he wants to get to know me more.
-I've come across a lot of profiles that show that people have been on there a long time, hence listing their requirements and even stories about the insane people they've met.
-I get a lot of anonymous views with nothing else. This creeps me out even though I have been a lurker myself.
At this rate, I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone. I have never been the type of person that puts herself out there. I'm pretty much a homebody besides the outdoor activities that I do by myself or with my son. I'm almost desperate enough to go back to my ex out of fear of loneliness. At least I'll get to see my son everyday. A few guys that I found myself attracted to and they were attracted to me came into my life when I was married, but with my luck, nobody will show up now that I'm divorced. I'm just feeling scared and frustrated because I really have no social network anymore.
When I walk down the street or walk into a grocery store, I get looks all the time, but nobody does any cold approaches anymore. I used to live in CA where the guys there were more aggressive, but the guys in the Midwest seem to be different. Not a lot of catcalling and whistles here (not that I enjoy that). I just noticed it stopped when I moved here many years ago. I don't know if it's the region or if it's because I'm now almost 40 instead of the teenager I was.
Just venting and looking for any tips on dating for someone who's a single mom, divorced, and late 30's. The problem is just meeting guys period. Otherwise, I am confident enough to take it from there.
Your experience is probably the same as most others in OLD. The women I contact don't even dignify me with a response, meanwhile women that contact me I have absolutely no interest for. It seems with OLD people 'reach' and hope someone responds. Don't know how much effect regions has to do with dating, but I know your age has an effect. Women hate this chart but it is what it is.
Your experience is probably the same as most others in OLD. The women I contact don't even dignify me with a response, meanwhile women that contact me I have absolutely no interest for. It seems with OLD people 'reach' and hope someone responds. Don't know how much effect regions has to do with dating, but I know your age has an effect. Women hate this chart but it is what it is.
So that chart would indicate I have pretty high dating value and I'm not going after 19-25 year old women. In fact, I start at about 32. Ideal for me would be 35-40, in decent shape, a few things in common, educated, and wants kids. Can't find it. Its ridiculous the expectations people have.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Originally Posted by Montanaguy04
Your experience is probably the same as most others in OLD. The women I contact don't even dignify me with a response, meanwhile women that contact me I have absolutely no interest for. It seems with OLD people 'reach' and hope someone responds. Don't know how much effect regions has to do with dating, but I know your age has an effect. Women hate this chart but it is what it is.
You post charts like that all the time. As do some others.
Would any of you care to post a link or a citation to the science behind the data sets? That never seems to be forthcoming.
I just signed up for OLD a few days ago with a real profile. I only have one picture up, but my profile is detailed. I know I should put more pictures up, but I'm working on it. I don't know if that's the problem though.
-The ones that I contact and look forward to hearing from doesn't ever reply back. They look at my profile and probably figure that they're not interested. It hurts my ego and makes me wonder what's wrong with me.
You've been doing this for a few days. I think "...don't EVER reply back" is a bit premature.
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-I will get winks, get favorited, and get some emails, but none of which interest me.
Nature of the beast. You are likely winking and messaging some people who feel much the same.
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-A guy who winked at me has a somewhat interesting profile, but shows no pictures and he keeps sending me daily short messages. I am cutting him off today because he still hasn't sent me any pictures and now I feel like I'm talking to a creep. Out of all the questions, he asks me where am I at? He is on there practically all day, but doesn't send me any messages that he wants to get to know me more.
If you get a creep vibe, ignore/block. Plenty of fish in the sea.
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-I've come across a lot of profiles that show that people have been on there a long time, hence listing their requirements and even stories about the insane people they've met.
Yep.
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-I get a lot of anonymous views with nothing else. This creeps me out even though I have been a lurker myself.
It shouldn't. Again, nature of the beast.
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At this rate, I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone. I have never been the type of person that puts herself out there. I'm pretty much a homebody besides the outdoor activities that I do by myself or with my son. I'm almost desperate enough to go back to my ex out of fear of loneliness. At least I'll get to see my son everyday. A few guys that I found myself attracted to and they were attracted to me came into my life when I was married, but with my luck, nobody will show up now that I'm divorced. I'm just feeling scared and frustrated because I really have no social network anymore.
Being in a panic and desperate about being alone is not going to be an asset.
Quote:
When I walk down the street or walk into a grocery store, I get looks all the time, but nobody does any cold approaches anymore. I used to live in CA where the guys there were more aggressive, but the guys in the Midwest seem to be different. Not a lot of catcalling and whistles here (not that I enjoy that). I just noticed it stopped when I moved here many years ago. I don't know if it's the region or if it's because I'm now almost 40 instead of the teenager I was.
Yes, people catcall younger women more than they do middle-aged women, primarily because younger women are more likely to react in ways that are reinforcing. 'Tis life (and not a negative, IMO). Not really a regional thing; I spent my twenties in Chicago, THE premier Midwestern city, and got annoying catcalls. It wasn't a matter of being or not being in the Midwest, it was a matter of being a female in her twenties.
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Just venting and looking for any tips on dating for someone who's a single mom, divorced, and late 30's. The problem is just meeting guys period. Otherwise, I am confident enough to take it from there.
Don't expect to go online and have instant success. Be realistic. Don't be desperate. Be comfortable on your own.
I met my spouse via online dating; I was 35 and he was 40 at the time. Neither of us was ever married, and we were both single after long-term relationships. He was exactly what I was looking for, and vice versa.
I met my spouse via online dating; I was 35 and he was 40 at the time. Neither of us was ever married, and we were both single after long-term relationships. He was exactly what I was looking for, and vice versa.
Also, I approached him.
How long did it take you to be on OLD and did you do a lot of dating before you met him?
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I don't want to be too picky, but then I don't want to settle either. I feel like the last 3 relationships partly failed because I wasn't selective enough; I wasn't that into them nor were they. There was a guy that I messaged when I had a fake profile up, and I told him it was fake, but he still wanted to get to know me. I liked everything about his profile except that he's actually not divorced legally yet, but it's pending, she's the one that filed divorce (I googled him), he has 3 young kids (I have one), and I wasn't 100% physically attracted to him based on his photos. He works out and has a decent body, but facewise, I wasn't as attracted to. He wasn't ugly at all though.
The 2nd guy that is messaging me is 54 years old (!), but he looks great for his age. He travels a lot, which may not be a good thing for my situation and seems to be well off. Profile seems pretty reasonable. He wants to "get to know me" once he's back in town. I haven't responded. I think I would, but I'm a little turned off by his age even if he does look good.
OLD is very unfair. Unfair to these men and me. They could be great in person, but I won't give them a chance to meet them. And the same applies to me. OLD makes me feel very shallow because looks are so important on OLD as we can only count on pictures and words. I already hid my profile because maybe I'm really just not ready.
Last edited by AhRainess; 06-02-2015 at 12:06 PM..
How long did it take you to be on OLD and did you do a lot of dating before you met him?
~~~~~~~~
I don't want to be too picky, but then I don't want to settle either. I feel like the last 3 relationships partly failed because I wasn't selective enough; I wasn't that into them nor were they. There was a guy that I messaged when I had a fake profile up, and I told him it was fake, but he still wanted to get to know me. I liked everything about his profile except that he's actually not divorced legally yet, but it's pending, she's the one that filed divorce (I googled him), he has 3 young kids (I have one), and I wasn't 100% physically attracted to him based on his photos. He works out and has a decent body, but facewise, I wasn't as attracted to. He wasn't ugly at all though.
The 2nd guy that is messaging me is 54 years old (!), but he looks great for his age. He travels a lot, which may not be a good thing for my situation and seems to be well off. Profile seems pretty reasonable. He wants to "get to know me" once he's back in town. I haven't responded. I think I would, but I'm a little turned off by his age even if he does look good.
OLD is very unfair. Unfair to these men and me. They could be great in person, but I won't give them a chance to meet them. And the same applies to me. OLD makes me feel very shallow because looks are so important on OLD as we can only count on pictures and words. I already hid my profile because maybe I'm really just not ready.
OK, second request. Why don't you and I talk? I'm in good shape AND younger. I have no kids, like to travel, in shape. Sheesh, I sound like an online ad. OK, nevermind.
OK, second request. Why don't you and I talk? I'm in good shape AND younger. I have no kids, like to travel, in shape. Sheesh, I sound like an online ad. OK, nevermind.
If you read all my posts, that may scare you away.
OP that was my experience online as well. The men I liked never contacted me and when I messaged them they either said nope or never responded at all. The guys who liked me were way below me in so many ways. I got responses from men much older (one guy was 75) and men much younger who were into cougars (not my thing). I got lots of married men and guys wanting sex. I specified childless men only and got lots of dads. I got illiterate and developmentally delayed men. When I met a guy around my age seeking what I was, there wasn't any connection. I gave up and found someone offline.
I just signed up for OLD a few days ago with a real profile. I only have one picture up, but my profile is detailed. I know I should put more pictures up, but I'm working on it. I don't know if that's the problem though.
-The ones that I contact and look forward to hearing from doesn't ever reply back. They look at my profile and probably figure that they're not interested. It hurts my ego and makes me wonder what's wrong with me.
-I will get winks, get favorited, and get some emails, but none of which interest me.
I don't know if it's the region or if it's because I'm now almost 40 instead of the teenager I was.
Just venting and looking for any tips on dating for someone who's a single mom, divorced, and late 30's. The problem is just meeting guys period. Otherwise, I am confident enough to take it from there.
Two big things - your feelings are hurt when people decide not to contact you - but you of course reserve the right to also not be interested in those contacting YOU. Yes, you both have to like each other on some level...you think that happens in a few days? Give it a YEAR!
And yes, it will be very slim pickin's for a 39 year old divorced mother. It's not fair, but that's the way it is...the odds are against you but you have the advantage of much higher volumes than in real life. Take advantage and open up your requirements on who YOU contact and on who you RESPOND to. Broaden your area, as well - go at least 25 miles out or even 50 if you're not in an urban area.
It's all a numbers game, so start playing, FOR REAL!
Stop wasting time with the "no picture" person. There is a reason there is no picture- they're either not ready or deceitful.
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I have no kids, like to travel, in shape. Sheesh, I sound like an online ad. OK, nevermind.
