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^I have a story just like Mr Spork above, but mine is rated PG.
Joined one website for a sporty-club-type thing and I'm also on OKCupid. Saw a girl and recognized her because she used the same picture in both places. Read her OKC ad in detail, honestly decided we were not a match (but we are looking for similar things.) Honestly it was kinda exciting to have access to "insider information" about what she was looking for, but a person from "real life".
Week later, saw her at the sport event. I himmed and hawwed but I knew there is NO WAY to walk up to her and say "I SAW YOUR OKCUPID AD!!!" So I just hung back figured if we end up talking, that'd be cool. But no. She never talked to me. She comes late, and leaves early. She's done that more than once... as if she's just cruising.
That would be Ms. Spork, but yeah...it's funny the kind of um...inside information you can get about people when they are on multiple sites like that. I am on OKC too but I really don't like it. I have even met 2 guys from there but just didn't feel good about either of them. Most of the people who contact me, it's pretty clear they didn't even bother to read anything in my profile, they just cruised my pics, noticed I'd be down for casual, and were like, "How YOU doin?" (like Joey, from friends? No? Anyhow.)
The other site, I've had some lame people contact me that I have no interest in, but I've also made contact with a couple of really friendly, smart ones who are very willing to have conversations about our interests and local events and such. A fairly significant difference is that on the other site, there is enough community grapevine that you can vet new contacts and avoid dangerous predators. In this circle that's pretty important. For something so crazy I can't believe I'm getting into it, it's amazingly sane and well managed by people who really know what they're doing. I'm so glad I found it, it beats the heck out of these dating sites, at least in this particular geographical area.
I'm curious on why it wouldn't be a good way to approach someone?
I think it is an interesting way of using the "hey we have something in common" conversation point.
granted a 70yr old male using it is a bit ......wait he was in a club with sunglasses on........
um for a normal insecure guy to use it is a bit more acceptable. In my eyes at least
Because while it is very widely accepted now, and granted almost every single person is on some sort of a dating site nowadays, I think lots of people still have a certain stigma about it when push comes to shove. I never thought I'd be embarrassed by it until this guy came over to me and asked, and I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way (I think it's more common with the 30 and above crowd to feel this way). So as to not make anybody feel uncomfortable, IMO it's best to stay clear of mentioning you saw somebody's online dating profile, unless of course that's how you met.
I think that if I were having a conversation with someone and they were very clearly alone, no friends around to overhear, just me and them, I might mention it.
Example: I'm shooting pool at the bar, and I step out for a smoke. There's only one other person out there and they look really familiar. I look at them for a few and then break into the "You look really familiar" talk and if I realize it I'd be totally comfortable mentioning that I think I saw them on OKC or something.
But if someone was there with them, I'd worry that maybe it wasn't something they just told people, or maybe she's his date...or whatever. I wouldn't bring it up. But then, I'm also sensitive enough to realize when something might make someone else uncomfortable. I have observed that plenty of the males in the world of OLD are apparently not aware of such things...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I got a message by a coworker once
In my brief foray back onto OLD last week and a look at tinder, I got messaged from two people that I had gone on dates years ago with, but they didn't recognize me. Haha.
In my brief foray back onto OLD last week and a look at tinder, I got messaged from two people that I had gone on dates years ago with, but they didn't recognize me. Haha.
yeah, when I was on and off OLD for 3 years, I got messages from guys I went on dates, too! OMG. hhahaahaha.
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