Unattractive people that have little luck with dating, but who are extremely picky themselves (girls, single)
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Some people don't see what we see when they look into the mirror.
Gotta go with this. The friend may have doubts, but she may not think as lowly of her appearance as you do. And thing with being on the outside looking in, that's all it is. What looks good to one person can be a mess to another.
That's why many will be against being set up with someone. Because usually the matchmaker will set you up, according to their taste, not the single party's. They will try to set people up with what they think they should have, or be thankful for, rather than actually knowing the person's taste and if they'd actually be interested.
Different people put weight on different things. What's trivial to one person may not be trivial to the other. It's all personal taste. And you can't really help what you like and don't like. If you could, dating would be cake for everyone.
And at the end of the day, your friend is the one living with her issues. So it only affects her. Now if she's coming to you to whine and complain, just find a way to politely tell her that you don't want to hear it and don't have much advice to give her.
Attraction is attraction. I'd probably reject a girl under 5'5, I like taller women.
Yeah, but that's like a foot difference for you, right? I get having an issue with a huge disparity like that. But over an inch or two? Seems petty to me. Especially given that the person is not bad looking or extremely overweight. She has never met him to make a judgment on his personality.
And you'd think that someone would be willing to try something different considering what terrible luck they are having. I wouldn't not date a cute girl because she's a B-cup and not a C-cup.
The 5'7" guy sounds like a potential good catch, IMO, if he's got a good personality and is smart.
To some extent, we create our own luck. She's made her choices, now she has to learn to either live with them, or change them.
Didn't we have a thread by this same title last year? Was that you, or someone else? The story about your friend sounds familiar. If she's in therapy, the therapist should ask her at some point about whether her preferences in dating partners are realistic.
Pretty much. People who get too picky about minor things and have little luck in dating most likely have little luck in dating because they are being too picky and narrow things down too much. Whether it's the woman who won't date a man shorter than her or won't date a man without a degree... or whether it's a man who won't date women his own age because they are "old" or a man who won't date a woman because her BMI is normal, but the high side of normal... people eliminate themselves from finding potentially good matches with their own pickiness over minor things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Dude, I got rejected from a 4'11" woman because I wasn't 6' plus, No joke!. I was a bit disappointed; I would have loved to had some minion sex Lol.
People have preferences (some delusional) but nonetheless, its their preference. I take it with a grain of salt and move on.
LOL, true and it's about all you can do. Let them have their idiosyncrasies and move on.
I recently had a conversation with one of my close female friends and she stated that she didn't want to go on a date with a guy simply because he's 5'7". Otherwise, he's in decent shape and is not unattractive.
This same friend is not particularly attractive herself (nice body, but her face is not very attractive IMO; very masculine). She has had terrible luck with dating, to the extent that she's on anxiety meds and seeing a psychiatrist about her self-worth.
Why do people do this? If they are not having the best of luck with people wanting to be with them, then why are they so darn picky over trivial matters such as height? I'm really scratching my head on this. It's frustrating to me, because I'm the one she usually seeks advice from when another guy rejects her. Now she wants my input on rejecting guys who aren't 6'2" Adonises.
Some people would genuinely prefer to be single than to be with people who they aren't completely attracted to. Could they be missing out on people who could be great for them? Yes, but that's their problem. She'll either alter her standards when she's ready or she won't.
It can be frustrating to be the friend of someone like this but people are attracted to who they are attracted to. I have a friend that's overweight and he had hung out with me and a friend of mine that was overweight as well. I thought they might have hit it off but he told me that he preferred thinner women. He said that he knew that it didn't make any sense but he was attracted to thinner women. Well, my friend may be overweight but he's a nice looking guy and he's got a great personality. Now he has a pretty girlfriend who is more on the average to thin side.
It's much easier for people that are attracted to a wider array of types and sizes - but I'm not sure that this is something that can be controlled.
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