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Old 06-04-2015, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 2,025,998 times
Reputation: 1927

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I recently had a conversation with one of my close female friends and she stated that she didn't want to go on a date with a guy simply because he's 5'7". Otherwise, he's in decent shape and is not unattractive.

This same friend is not particularly attractive herself (nice body, but her face is not very attractive IMO; very masculine). She has had terrible luck with dating, to the extent that she's on anxiety meds and seeing a psychiatrist about her self-worth.

Why do people do this? If they are not having the best of luck with people wanting to be with them, then why are they so darn picky over trivial matters such as height? I'm really scratching my head on this. It's frustrating to me, because I'm the one she usually seeks advice from when another guy rejects her. Now she wants my input on rejecting guys who aren't 6'2" Adonises.
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Old 06-04-2015, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,949 posts, read 15,110,465 times
Reputation: 30136
I would just wish them the best of luck with dating and remind them to take their pills.
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Old 06-04-2015, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 2,025,998 times
Reputation: 1927
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
I would just wish the the best of luck with dating and remind them to take their pills.
No kidding. Yeesh! I don't know what else to tell her.
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Old 06-04-2015, 02:58 PM
 
2,757 posts, read 2,143,872 times
Reputation: 2640
Yea I see that happen a lot, sometimes I find really attractive people to be less picky than the less attractive ones. I know physical attraction is important, but I tend to place more emphasis on personality (as cliche as that sounds). I'm 5'8" myself and went out with a guy who was my height and wasn't super attractive, and actually liked him, but he was the one who thought I was too tall! IDK, it's like my mom says, "I like the glass, but I'm way more interested in the wine".
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:00 PM
 
Location: New Haven, CT
1,030 posts, read 3,852,594 times
Reputation: 911
Excuses probably because she has no self esteem.
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Colorado
16,142 posts, read 10,441,145 times
Reputation: 30106
Yeah sounds to me like she's got bigger problems than bad luck in dating. But, see, it's probably for the best. Because maybe subconsciously she knows she's got to fix her own issues before she can have a decent relationship anyways. Maybe she finds reasons (excuses) to flake away from possible matches because she isn't really ready...even though she's lonely enough to THINK she is.

I kinda know the feeling on that. Not that it manifests in exactly the same way...but I've met a couple of guys that I found attractive online, and the talk was promising, but suddenly when they wanted to meet in person I got scared and shy. Well, maybe I jumped into OLD too soon. Maybe I need to be alone for a bit. But part of me is just driven to look and look, seek and seek...like I don't really know just what I want, but I'll know it when I see it...the insecurity of not knowing what the future will be like in that department drives me even though I know it's a better idea, for a bunch of reasons, to fly solo a while.
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
18,520 posts, read 16,183,478 times
Reputation: 37390
Some people don't see what we see when they look into the mirror.
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
25,679 posts, read 37,493,152 times
Reputation: 37417
As an ugly guy myself, I'd rather be alone than be with someone who I ain't physically attracted to.
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:20 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,587 posts, read 6,348,910 times
Reputation: 15293
Meh...I honestly quit trying to figure out other people's problems a while ago. It's nothing but a headache. If she doesn't know how to build up her self worth/confidence by HERSELF, then yes she has a big problem.

I see this problem a lot, and have had it myself....but it's obvious that your sense of self worth/confidence should not come from what other people think of you. It needs to come from within. I'm not sure if some people are too lazy to build it themselves or they simply just don't know how.

When it comes to height...I'm the same height as the guy and personally I wouldn't mind that we were the same height. Personally I prefer guys who are within the 5'7 - 5'11 range.

Last edited by Auraliea; 06-04-2015 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 06-04-2015, 03:25 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,960 posts, read 87,377,575 times
Reputation: 98119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
I recently had a conversation with one of my close female friends and she stated that she didn't want to go on a date with a guy simply because he's 5'7". Otherwise, he's in decent shape and is not unattractive.

This same friend is not particularly attractive herself (nice body, but her face is not very attractive IMO; very masculine). She has had terrible luck with dating, to the extent that she's on anxiety meds and seeing a psychiatrist about her self-worth.

Why do people do this? If they are not having the best of luck with people wanting to be with them, then why are they so darn picky over trivial matters such as height? I'm really scratching my head on this. It's frustrating to me, because I'm the one she usually seeks advice from when another guy rejects her. Now she wants my input on rejecting guys who aren't 6'2" Adonises.
The 5'7" guy sounds like a potential good catch, IMO, if he's got a good personality and is smart.

To some extent, we create our own luck. She's made her choices, now she has to learn to either live with them, or change them.

Didn't we have a thread by this same title last year? Was that you, or someone else? The story about your friend sounds familiar. If she's in therapy, the therapist should ask her at some point about whether her preferences in dating partners are realistic.
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