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We haven't gone all the way but whatever you say....
Well, I tried looking it up. I found this
Quote:
This question is becoming increasingly common as young people are told that “oral sex is not really sex,” and as oral sex is promoted as a safer (no risk of pregnancy, less risk of sexually transmitted diseases*) alternative to sexual intercourse. What does the Bible say? Ephesians 5:3 declares, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people.” The biblical definition of “immorality” is “any form of sexual contact outside of marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:2). According to Hebrews 13:4, only the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled. According to the Bible, sex is to be reserved for marriage. Period. So, yes, oral sex is a sin if done before or outside of marriage.
So going on this, far as Religion/Christianity goes, if you had any sexual contact before marriage, it still counts as premarital sex-thus sinful. So there's no loophole with that. Even if no penetration happened.
In any case, leaving the Christian dealings, the main thing is, your boyfriend currently does not respect your boundaries, and clearly isn't ok having a non-sexual relationship until marriage. And he doesn't respect that you don't want him grabbing and touching you.
He says if you loved him, you'd have sex. But if he loved you, he wouldn't be pressuring you to go past limits.
So ultimately, you 2 aren't compatible, and you may be better off not dating someone that isn't religious. Anyone can want to wait for marriage. but usually in many cases, it's a religious thing. And for one who isn't such, it just sounds like a waste of time. Someone who is religious, and devoted would probably be more accepting and respectful.
So, this guy hasn't shown great care or respect for you. So I think you know, deep down, the relationship isn't going to work. And already caving and doing things under duress for him, which isn't healthy, especially if you're feeling bad afterward. Life is too short and uncertain, to be spending tons of time with toxic people.
Last edited by HappyRain; 06-05-2015 at 08:23 PM..
Here is the bottom line. You are not wrong and neither is he. Some posters are making him out to be inconsiderate and a fiend, and that is not the case. He has stuck by you for 9 months, and you two are simply worlds apart with regard to sex and it's importance in a relationship.
Personally, I think the guy is a Saint. For a loooooooooong 9 months he has been in a relationship with you and has been denied something most people receive after a few dates. I would have been out of there in a lot less time, regardless of how much you meant to me. You are living with 1900's views and this is 2015.
Do both of you a favor, sit down and tell him you just are too different in your views and beliefs and end it now. You are wasting his time and he is wasting yours.
BTW, you are doing it all backwards. Most people have sex like rabbits before marriage and then it dwindles down to almost zero after a few years.
He kinda sounds like an airhead twit from your description. Superheros, video games, and hes playing mind games to get you to sleep with him? Loser is what comes to my mind. Your interests seem much more in line with a higher purpose, and you sound far more intelligent. You dont need that in your life, youll find better as you get into different environments like college and hobbies.
Here is the bottom line. You are not wrong and neither is he. Some posters are making him out to be inconsiderate and a fiend, and that is not the case. He has stuck by you for 9 months, and you two are simply worlds apart with regard to sex and it's importance in a relationship.
Personally, I think the guy is a Saint. For a loooooooooong 9 months he has been in a relationship with you and has been denied something most people receive after a few dates. I would have been out of there in a lot less time, regardless of how much you meant to me. You are living with 1900's views and this is 2015.
Do both of you a favor, sit down and tell him you just are too different in your views and beliefs and end it now. You are wasting his time and he is wasting yours.
BTW, you are doing it all backwards. Most people have sex like rabbits before marriage and then it dwindles down to almost zero after a few years.
Don
So since others in 2015 are doing something, I should too? I don't care what other people are doing now or if my views are outdated to some.
So going on this, far as Religion/Christianity goes, if you had any sexual contact before marriage, it still counts as premarital sex-thus sinful. So there's no loophole with that. Even if no penetration happened.
In any case, leaving the Christian dealings, the main thing is, your boyfriend currently does not respect your boundaries, and clearly isn't ok having a non-sexual relationship until marriage. And he doesn't respect that you don't want him grabbing and touching you.
He says if you loved him, you'd have sex. But if he loved you, he wouldn't be pressuring you to go past limits.
So ultimately, you 2 aren't compatible, and you may be better off not dating someone that isn't religious. Anyone can want to wait for marriage. but usually in many cases, it's a religious thing. And for one who isn't such, it just sounds like a waste of time. Someone who is religious, and devoted would probably be more accepting and respectful.
So, this guy hasn't shown great care or respect for you. So I think you know, deep down, the relationship isn't going to work. And already caving and doing things under duress for him, which isn't healthy, especially if you're feeling bad afterward. Life is too short and uncertain, to be spending tons of time with toxic people.
I was just saying that no penetration happened. I'm not trying to make an excuse or a loophole for things. I thought it was important to add. I know that non penetration is considered sinful as well. I do appreciate your advice. I hope I don't come across as rude.
I was just saying that no penetration happened. I'm not trying to make an excuse or a loophole for things. I thought it was important to add. I know that non penetration is considered sinful as well. I do appreciate your advice. I hope I don't come across as rude.
No. You don't seem rude. I didn't get that vibe at all.
But I am hoping you will end the relationship with this guy. Given how forceful he's being with the sex issue, it only gets worse as time goes on. He cares about what he wants. It's not healthy.
Dating is difficult, and finding a match is even harder. But what makes things better is knowing when to let go of a relationship that isn't working for you. because the more time you spend in a bad or uneven relationship, that's time that could have been spent dating and trying to find better matches.
May try some Christian Singles things, meeting people with the same beliefs, then you may connect better. If your faith is important to you, it probably would be better having someone you could share that part of your life with.
No. You don't seem rude. I didn't get that vibe at all.
But I am hoping you will end the relationship with this guy. Given how forceful he's being with the sex issue, it only gets worse as time goes on. He cares about what he wants. It's not healthy.
Dating is difficult, and finding a match is even harder. But what makes things better is knowing when to let go of a relationship that isn't working for you. because the more time you spend in a bad or uneven relationship, that's time that could have been spent dating and trying to find better matches.
May try some Christian Singles things, meeting people with the same beliefs, then you may connect better. If your faith is important to you, it probably would be better having someone you could share that part of your life with.
Thanks. I always worry how I come across whether it's online or in person. I do care about my boyfriend a lot and I know what I should do but it's so hard for me. I don't want to hurt him but I guess I'll hurt him more in the long run if I don't do anything.
So since others in 2015 are doing something, I should too? I don't care what other people are doing now or if my views are outdated to some.
The year is not relevant. Your beliefs are your beliefs.
He was not respectful of them. End of story.
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I don't want to let it rule me.
