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People shouldn't call themselves "placeholders", dating someone doesn't have to be a marriage track. A few months of dating casually will either grown into something more serious, fizzle out completely, or morph into some sort of friendship. Depending on how much you really have in common.
It's when someone WANTS a serious relationship right now that this becomes an issue. I wouldn't hang around too long if the other person doesn't seem to be on the same page. Just remember that ending something with a person you like after a couple weeks or months doesn't mean you won't ever see that person again if situations/timing is different. It probably will prevent you from wasting a couple years feeling like crap though
Met a guy on dating website the end of Feb. We get along great, have engaging conversations, laugh a bunch, enjoy the same music, etc. We have been hanging out (movies, dinner, concert, etc.) once a week consistently except when either one of us is out of town. We used to text more but now its really just to arrange when to meet up. We do not talk on the phone. I also just recently found out that he is still on the dating website and is apparently active (I helped my friend put up her profile and I saw his profile). We have not spoken about exclusivity or what "this" is so my assumption is that we are casually dating.
Should I drop him like a hot potato or give it some time to see where things go?
**UPDATE**
We are still casually dating when we are both in town. My travel was mostly in the summer so my schedule is more stable now. We hung out last week and currently he is out of town again until next week. Unfortunately, his mom passed away while I was traveling over the summer. We have both felt the pain of losing a loved one this year (He consoled me when my grandmother passed away). I know that he cares about me. I care about him too. Sometimes that is just not enough. I know that in the present, there is a slim-to-no possibility of us being in a long-term committed relationship. Therefore, I am actively looking to date other people. I am hoping to meet someone IRL - at happy hours, local events, etc. - because online dating is tiresome (for me at this point in my life).
**UPDATE**
We are still casually dating when we are both in town. My travel was mostly in the summer so my schedule is more stable now. We hung out last week and currently he is out of town again until next week. Unfortunately, his mom passed away while I was traveling over the summer. We have both felt the pain of losing a loved one this year (He consoled me when my grandmother passed away). I know that he cares about me. I care about him too. Sometimes that is just not enough. I know that in the present, there is a slim-to-no possibility of us being in a long-term committed relationship. Therefore, I am actively looking to date other people. I am hoping to meet someone IRL - at happy hours, local events, etc. - because online dating is tiresome (for me at this point in my life).
so have u ever talked to him about seeing each other more or have some sort of conversation as to what each other needs?
**UPDATE**
We are still casually dating when we are both in town. My travel was mostly in the summer so my schedule is more stable now. We hung out last week and currently he is out of town again until next week. Unfortunately, his mom passed away while I was traveling over the summer. We have both felt the pain of losing a loved one this year (He consoled me when my grandmother passed away). I know that he cares about me. I care about him too. Sometimes that is just not enough. I know that in the present, there is a slim-to-no possibility of us being in a long-term committed relationship. Therefore, I am actively looking to date other people. I am hoping to meet someone IRL - at happy hours, local events, etc. - because online dating is tiresome (for me at this point in my life).
Talk to him and truly feel him out. You don't have to badger him. Just mention that you two have been seeing each other for a good while, and even though you both have faced some hardships as of late, you would still like to entertain the notion of you two moving forward to a long-term relationship. I think it's only fair to you, that if you're actually going to put yourself back on the market, that you know you either need to show up with a gun or a knife.
As someone who's in the dating game myself, there's nothing worse than meeting someone great who's just casually dating waiting till the person they REALLY WANT will commit to them. I would imagine this has to happen, because communication isn't open or it is and people continue to hold on to hope.
My recommendation to anyone getting out and dating, is be fair to other people you come into contact with. If you're just meeting people while waiting on someone else, then be honest either in your profile or in person when you meet that person. You clearly have ulterior motives and your heart and mind aren't invested in building a relationship outside of the person they're invested in.
Talk to the guy you're seeing and see how he would want to proceed. If he wants a relationship with you, that's great. If he just wants friendship, that makes your next move that much more clear. I stress once again, don't go out dating when you haven't cleared up your situation with the guy you're currently dating.
**UPDATE**
We are still casually dating when we are both in town. My travel was mostly in the summer so my schedule is more stable now. We hung out last week and currently he is out of town again until next week. Unfortunately, his mom passed away while I was traveling over the summer. We have both felt the pain of losing a loved one this year (He consoled me when my grandmother passed away). I know that he cares about me. I care about him too. Sometimes that is just not enough. I know that in the present, there is a slim-to-no possibility of us being in a long-term committed relationship. Therefore, I am actively looking to date other people. I am hoping to meet someone IRL - at happy hours, local events, etc. - because online dating is tiresome (for me at this point in my life).
echoing weezer, i was in a similar situation that ended up going to crap because neither of us communicated with each other what our expectations were. We both just kinda assumed the other person would do it. There were other factors that contributed to it but i would strongly suggest you talk to your partner about it. Although, i wasnt on dating sites looking for other girls.
There's a guy right now who I only hear from on weekends. The last time he asked to meet up, I told him that he should go out with someone who he also talks to during the week instead. I wouldn't mind only seeing someone on weekends, but I at least expect to talk to them during the week leading up to that. I wasn't interested in this guy at all though so I don't care. I just think he's dumb.
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Update
I wouldn't mind only seeing someone on weekends, but I at least expect to talk to them during the week leading up to that. I wasn't interested in this guy at all though so I don't care. I just think he's dumb.
