Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You'd never know that from the way so many guys are afraid to even talk to women, let alone ask them out, around here. In my observation, women take rejection much more easily. But, whatever. I suppose if a woman thought she was really attractive, she'd have a hard time with rejection. But that's not most women.
You've had more women friends than I have, but I've hard first-hand and read on here about how the woman asked out 1 guy, was rejected, and then went on to say that it hurt them far too much to do it again and won't do it again. And after hearing the guy's reason for rejecting, basically using the same lines women use, I'd say that men really have no other choice other than to learn how to take rejection well, no matter what is said, because they're basically a little boy, or something else, because they won't ask women out.
In this day and age, seems like the one asking usually does the paying. You ask a woman out, you pay. If she asks you out, she pays. And if no one is asking you out, well, you better do the asking or else you won't have anyone will you? Things are more modern now and I'd say that's a good thing.
But you know, I bet I won't be popular with this answer, but I don't care. It's just food for thought...
While it's true that men don't only go ONLY for looks and don't care about anything else and women don't ONLY go for money and don't care about anything else... there is something very primal about the women doing her best to look her best on a date and men doing his best to show he can provide for her/a family. It's a symbolic gesture.
You might as well say if a man doesn't have to pay, well, don't expect a woman to doll herself up. Sure, you don't fall for her because she spends an hour on her hair and makeup... you fall for her as a person; and in the same regards, she doesn't fall for you because you paid the bill. But don't you like it when someone does these kinds of things "for you" on the date to show that they put (sometimes hours) of effort to look their best for you? If you don't get what I am saying, think of it the same way you dress in your best suit for a job interview to show the person who interviews you that you care about the job? Doesn't it make you feel good and important, like she's really interested? Well, what you do to give the woman the same feeling is generally pick up the tab.
Now, that doesn't mean that's the way it always has to be in a relationship (a man paying and showing he can be a provider and a women always trying her best to look pretty). It's just some kind of "thing people do," like a bow before a formal dance. There is no rule about it and this is the only thing that you can do to show someone they are important to you on a first date. But it's a common thing. You can come up with your own way of doing things if it works better for you and who you are dating (maybe she picks up the tab, and you do something else to show you care). I am at a loss for what other things men can do. Maybe I am just not imaginative enough. I think a more useful tread would be suggestions on how to turn the dynamic around.
I always pay and I have no clue about who asked who and dont worry about it in the least. Its just automatic for me to pull out my wallet for anything when we are together. Its not even something that I even care too much about (like I do it but feel different inside), that tells me that it is genetic and evolutionary that guys are to pay. Otherwise Id feel resentment or obligation. I feel neither. Now if she offers and says let me pay, my answer is always no no no no, put that away and I tell the cashier to use mine. *shrug* I have literally zero need for a girls money. Even if she were rich. Thats also the same reason I really dont care if she has a career or not. Not important things to me.
I've always insisted on going Dutch with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. In a relationship, we take turns.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
