Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Can we stop with the "therapy" garbage I keep seeing on these relationship boards. Practically nobody goes to "therapy", nor do they need any "therapy" (whatever the f that is) and trust me virtually nobody in these economic times has a therapist on speed dial. There is nothing wrong with 99% of you. You just go through stuff thats pretty much NORMAL HUMANITY.
Right, I'm sure your relationship is way more secure than mine. Not! I've been with my girlfriend nearly 4 years. Having a piece of paper changes nothing. If you think that magically one day I would be ok with my girlfriend being friends with exes or the other way around, you're totally mistaken! Not going to happen ever. And if you think I would be ok with her chit chatting with dudes on Facebook you are again mistaken.
It seems a lot of people here cross a lot of lines on social media and seem to think it's fine. Fortunately it also sounds like bad behaving people are with other bad behaving people and at least nobody is hurt.
I've been with my husband 21 years....so yeah...I think my relationship has proven itself. Let me guess...since you don't want your 'girlfriend ' to talk to any males...you never talk to any females ever as well?
There are no lines being crossed talking to a friend...end of story.
Sorry your that insecure and mistrusting....but really...I know of no woman on the planet that doesn't have male friends and, if she uses facebook, has them on there as well.
These exs are from over 20 years ago....hells bells you really think that I have to hate someone for that long? Heck..there is only about one ex I really dislike.
Do you really think so little of women that you think they can't make up their own minds whom to be friends with?
Most people I know don't have actual friends of the opposite gender. Maybe work contacts or networking buddies but friends?! No! You must not know many people if you think it's totally normal for every girl to have tons of guy friends even while in a relationship.
And no, you shouldn't be deciding to make guy friends. You're not single. You're in a relationship.
We don't do the whole guy friends (her) and girl friends (me) drama either in real life or Facebook. You are obviously old enough but still sound very naive, as if you don't realize guys don't see girls as friends.
Edit: No, as I said, there is no contact with other guys or girls / opposite gender for us. It's not an issue and wouldn't ever be one. I make guy friends, she makes girl friends. That's normal.
I am far from the thinking that males and females can be "just" friends, but you can't control what your spouse is going to do.
They are indivuals before they are your spouse. Allow them the freedom to make their own mistakes and learn.
Just becuase we reach a certain age and have X amount of a group of friends doesn't mean we have the answers. for the vast majority of people they will have to make their mistakes before they will even begin to acknowledge them.
Let your spouse make their own mistakes to learn from.
If they keep making the SAME "mistakes"...that's an entirely different story with a pretty clear cut answer
Most people I know don't have actual friends of the opposite gender. Maybe work contacts or networking buddies but friends?! No! You must not know many people if you think it's totally normal for every girl to have tons of guy friends even while in a relationship.
And no, you shouldn't be deciding to make guy friends. You're not single. You're in a relationship.
We don't do the whole guy friends (her) and girl friends (me) drama either in real life or Facebook. You are obviously old enough but still sound very naive, as if you don't realize guys don't see girls as friends.
I think you're right on the money. It starts with this absurd modern notion that guys and girls can just be friends. Give me a break, theres always subtext there. Then you add in the ex factor, thats even worse. You add in constant communication with current technology and its a recipe for disaster if shes "friends" with guys she was with or guys in general.
Most people I know don't have actual friends of the opposite gender. Maybe work contacts or networking buddies but friends?! No! You must not know many people if you think it's totally normal for every girl to have tons of guy friends even while in a relationship.
And no, you shouldn't be deciding to make guy friends. You're not single. You're in a relationship.
We don't do the whole guy friends (her) and girl friends (me) drama either in real life or Facebook. You are obviously old enough but still sound very naive, as if you don't realize guys don't see girls as friends.
Edit: No, as I said, there is no contact with other guys or girls / opposite gender for us. It's not an issue and wouldn't ever be one. I make guy friends, she makes girl friends. That's normal.
I know tons of people....and we don't self segregate by gender....it's not middle school for heavens sake.
The only naive and inexperienced one I see is you....maybe you are incapable of seeing women as any thing more than a sex partner to control...but most mature human beings (and maturity is not an age...I know immature 70 year olds and mature 16 year olds) can be friends with anyone they have things in common with and not just have over active hormones.
I think you're right on the money. It starts with this absurd modern notion that guys and girls can just be friends. Give me a break, theres always subtext there. Then you add in the ex factor, thats even worse. You add in constant communication with current technology and its a recipe for disaster if shes "friends" with guys she was with.
Exactly. I don't think anything good can really come from it, just a lot of drama and mistrust. If it's based on work that's a totally different story as work contacts are valuable no matter guy or girl. Many of the clients we have are represented to us by women but I almost never meet them and my emails to them are just about work issues. I'm fine with my girlfriend even going to coffee with another guy if it was purely for work purposes like he could help her career or whatever but I should be invited if I want to go - even though I wouldn't. It's a matter of politeness. Your significant other should always be invited where you go, but in certain cases it's equally polite for you to decline and stay home.
I know tons of people....and we don't self segregate by gender....it's not middle school for heavens sake.
The only naive and inexperienced one I see is you....maybe you are incapable of seeing women as any thing more than a sex partner to control...but most mature human beings (and maturity is not an age...I know immature 70 year olds and mature 16 year olds) can be friends with anyone they have things in common with and not just have over active hormones.
Haha sorry but you sound really naive about the actual dynamics of human interaction. There are even studies about this proving its nearly impossible for guys and girls to be just friends. The guys are much more likely than the girls to think there is attraction there and therefore overstep the boundaries of the relationship. It absolutely matters if someone is a guy or a girl and to say otherwise is really silly.
If your husband comes home gushing about a new girl he meets versus a guy, it's completely different. "Oh she is so smart and charismatic and funny and I definitely want to hang out with her a lot more! She's such a great lady." Really? Do you think most girls / wives would be ok with that?! Hahaha get real. Versus if it's a guy: "he's a really smart guy and very charismatic and he tells the funniest jokes. I'm looking forward to seeing him more often in the future." Big difference, so don't give me that nonsense that guys and girls are the same or similar situations as friends. Not even close.
Exactly. I don't think anything good can really come from it, just a lot of drama and mistrust. If it's based on work that's a totally different story as work contacts are valuable no matter guy or girl. Many of the clients we have are represented to us by women but I almost never meet them and my emails to them are just about work issues. I'm fine with my girlfriend even going to coffee with another guy if it was purely for work purposes like he could help her career or whatever but I should be invited if I want to go - even though I wouldn't. It's a matter of politeness. Your significant other should always be invited where you go, but in certain cases it's equally polite for you to decline and stay home.
Complete agreement. And the funny thing is everything your saying is completely intuitive. It is how virtually everybody feels on the inside. What I call base emotions. You know inherently inside if something is wrong if for example your gf is talking to exs on facebook. It doesnt feel good. The problem with current society is that people try to push all manner of bs modernisms, like ohhh thats ok theyre just friends. And these people have turned basically the anti-reality into some defacto cultural norm. Now to that, I say f** that. I go by whats real, what we really feel, and THAT is what is normal.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
