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Anyway, my point is that it ain't healthy to spend every day in contact at the beginning of a relationship.
I agree in a way. I wouldn't say it's unhealthy, but I can see where it can ruin a budding relationship. If the person you are contacting all time starts to feel "smothered" if you start texting daily after the first meet and greet date... you might kill things before they even really get off the ground. Relationships can be like plants. Just like a plant needs water to grow, relationships need communication. But if you over water a budding plant, you are going to kill it... same with too much contact early on in a relationship. How many guys have heard of women breaking it off because the woman felt "smothered?" PLus it runis the mystic and eagerness to see the other person to "catch up." What is left to talk about when you get together if you've texted every last detail of your life to another person?
I think a lot of it has to do with how many responsibilities outside of dating you have as well as if you are a more extroverted person vs. a more introverted person (who needs "alone time" and "space" every now and then). It isn't about that person who needs space not wanting a relationship or not being interested, they just have a different outlook and personality than, say, an extrovert person who goes out all the time to "recharge" with the crowd.
I say this as an introverted person with a demanding job (I often have to work 10-12 hour day). Some nights I just want to come home and be completely alone. I need time to myself. Someone texting me all night would quickly get on my nerves--no matter who it was or how much I loved them. I've always needed my own space in every relationship I was in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Professional
I text but im not obbess with it
A girl i went out with the other day texts constantly like crazy on our date always on sites like instagram snapchat etc its ****in annoying
People who are too obbess with texting are horrible people to date
Same here... I text, usually messages or just to convey info. Not to "chat" all day about (usually) nonsense. Add to that I can't text at work (against policy) and people who text all the time just don't seem to get that (I am talking friends of mine who want to plan stuff... they text me in the middle of the workday and then can't understand why I didn't respond). I tell them over and over, just call my work landline and tell me, unless it's something that can wait. They never do.
People who text aren't bad to date... but people who obsess over it, yeah, I have to agree. Of course, to be fair, texting is slow for me. I can't (for the live of me) understand how people's thumbs can move that fast! lol. Takes me a few minutes to type out a sentence on a phone that would take me a few seconds to just say (with all the back spacing to correct words and such).
My BFF and I have had numerous conversations dissecting the hidden meaning of "his" text.
Why did he take so long (more than a split second) to respond?
What did he mean by "..........."
And over analyzing to the nth degree every typed word.
And where did it get us? Half INSANE!
I've often longed to return the days of phones attached to a wall, old fashioned answering machines and letter writing. When information and communication is available at the speed of light, it can prey on you when your text isn't returned right away or he doesn't immediately call you back.
BUT! I HAVE TIP THAT HELPS PREVENT SPEWING THOSE WORDS VIA TEXT THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK.
Ready for it???
THE DELETE KEY!
So many times I've wanted to say something, type type type. Read it and then think about it only to realize, hey stupid, you don't want to say that, you don't NEED to say that.
I have been married almost 41 years. I go on my computer while he watches TV shows which I do not want to watch like survival, gun, prepper shows. I hear all the time. Did you see that? You have to watch THIS. You are not listening. Bla, bla, bla. No, I am NOT, because I do not want to watch, listen, or comment on something YOU are watching. Why do you think I am on the computer? Drives me crazy.
Solution? When HIS TV shows come on, I LEAVE the room and take my computer with me. Get the message? You cannot have a conversation about some TV show with thin air.
I have a personal trainer that I do a 35min session for last 3weeks.
He texted me that he was dropping hand bag off to his partner,
so he could not make it to the session. Week 1 and I asked if he had another time but he did not.
There was kind of annoyance being commanded in the gym but that’s just the job, he is incredibly attractive guy, we had a good relation I came on his side he would message me then it stopped... stopped messaging.
The dynamic of the relation changed - then he started to ask me to lie down put your legs up and then do stretches lying down while he stares at me doing them
Then there was complete silence we would not speak, I would just message to confirm session but last session he mentioned bed a lot. So I’m assuming he thinks I just want to sleep with him ?
But I don’t want to give this impression of me considering he is well connected in the gym- also the manager knows about it since last session.
Should I quit or keep going ?
I came on his side he would message me then it stopped... stopped messaging.
The dynamic of the relation changed - then he started to ask me to lie down put your legs up and then do stretches lying down while he stares at me doing them
CThen there was complete silence we would not speak, I would just message to confirm session but last session he mentioned bed a lot.
You know how I resolve this? I basically ask their communication style. I'd ask, "Hey, are you the kind of person that returns texts when you're able or are you an avid texter?" or something like that. To get an idea of why they may not respond in a timely fashion.
If we're suppose to make plans, I'd expect them to get back to me by at least the end of the day if I had texted them like...in the morning.
Texting can certainly damage a relationship, especially if you text your girlfriend to tell her that you’ve made a reservation at a restaurant for dinner the evening after tomorrow, and suggest meeting her in a bar around 100 metres from the restaurant, signing off with ❤️❤️ and XXX to Barbara, then send it to Deborah, your wife!
Ask me how I know, Jean-Francois.
Texting is nothing more than a tool that every couple should define for themselves how to use it. It is not inherently bad or good for relationships.
Agreed. Texting works just fine in all my relationships and friendships. I communicate better via writing than on the phone.
I also agree with OP that couples should be able to spend time apart without the need to constantly be texting. That's a totally different thing though.
I don't constantly talk to anyone, and I'd expect to spend plenty of time solo even if in a relationship. But when I did want to talk, I'd definitely text because it's just easier to communicate that way.
A lot of people who don't think it's easy to communicate that way don't understand how to express emotion and tone in writing, I've found. If done right, the person receiving the text should fully understand whether the tone was serious, in jest, teasing, etc.
With 90% of people it's never a problem. I have run into a few "bad texters" however. People who just couldn't pick up on the "vibe" of a text or express themselves via text for whatever reason. There are a lot of different types of communicators out there, so it's really just a matter of compatibility. Anyone who ends up close with me is naturally going to also be a good texter since that's how I communicate.
I also agree with OP that couples should be able to spend time apart without the need to constantly be texting. That's a totally different thing though.
agreed, not being able to spend time apart just screams insecure
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