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As much as Im against getting involved with someone in a relationship (crumbling or not) I'm putting away my moral compass on this one and say go4it! BUT put your emotions on check! <----important
Women in these situations are emotionally clouded. Remember, youre risking your friendship if you proceed.
Friendships are just as transient as relationships. Might as well risk it.
There is a good possibility of simply being the rebound guy, so take that into consideration.
Friendships are just as transient as relationships. Might as well risk it.
There is a good possibility of simply being the rebound guy, so take that into consideration.
The OP might be that type that isn't looking to be a a rebound, idk. I'm sure, he wouldn't pass up getting laid, but in most cases, somebody is getting hurt, especially if the two are close/best friends. Oh well, Lol.
The OP might be that type that isn't looking to be a a rebound, idk. I'm sure, he wouldn't pass up getting laid, but in most cases, somebody is getting hurt, especially if the two are close/best friends. Oh well, Lol.
haha yeah, but in reality.. the OP is probably better off being a rebound guy than some friend who just simply wants more.
Neither is good, but at least if he's the rebound he gets laid AND has a shot of it being more than just a rebound.
I'd take my chances and make a move.. not with words.
haha yeah, but in reality.. the OP is probably better off being a rebound guy than some friend who just simply wants more.
Neither is good, but at least if he's the rebound he gets laid AND has a shot of it being more than just a rebound.
I'd take my chances and make a move.. not with words.
I'm setting up a movie and drinks date. I agree that an organic approach would be best instead of some grand proclamation. Just talk to her like I normally do and be myself, then see if the situation becomes intimate or whether she keeps me at a platonic friend distance.
Ultimately I would prefer not to be merely the rebound guy. The friendship is very important to me, she's one of my few close friends in the States. On the other hand, bottling up my feelings isn't very healthy either.
I'm setting up a movie and drinks date. I agree that an organic approach would be best instead of some grand proclamation. Just talk to her like I normally do and be myself, then see if the situation becomes intimate or whether she keeps me at a platonic friend distance.
Ultimately I would prefer not to be merely the rebound guy. The friendship is very important to me, she's one of my few close friends in the States. On the other hand, bottling up my feelings isn't very healthy either.
That's a great way to go about it.
Don't do the whole "omg I've had feelings for you so long we should try to make it work I love you". You'll almost 99% make it awkward and get a rejection.
What you're doing seems like a good approach. Try for more physical contact and see where it goes. If she's into it, maybe try making a move.
Don't feel OBLIGATED to try to kiss her right away on the first time you guys hang out like that, but definitely try to keep things moving in the right direction. She's not going to find a new guy to date between the first and second time you guys hang out.
Make a few hints, try to go for something on your first "date" like this, but if it you're not feeling it or seems like she isn't.. maybe hold off til the second one.
You may or may not be just a rebound guy. Who knows, no one can predict the future, but you'll never know if you don't try and if you don't you'll just eventually be the friend that drifted apart after time.. like most friendships of opposite sexes go.
As much as Im against getting involved with someone in a relationship (crumbling or not) I'm putting away my moral compass on this one and say go4it! BUT put your emotions on check! <----important
Women in these situations are emotionally clouded. Remember, youre risking your friendship if you proceed.
This is solid advice...
I'll add that I've been through many, many friends who were waiting on the sidelines
(as I inevitably found out) that articulated their secret desires after
other relationships I was in didn't work out.
All I can say is there's no turning back, once a guy says something along those lines.
I don't look at him the same way & the friendship is basically over.
But hey if you're thinking she's into you on that level, take the chance.
All I can say is there's no turning back, once a guy says something along those lines. I don't look at him the same way & the friendship is basically over.
Came here to say this, basically. Be prepared to lose her as a friend if it doesn't work out romantically.
At the end of your life, when you look back at everything..... which option will you regret not taking?
Guard your heart though Duck, this is always a tricky situation.
We wish you the best, and you can always refer her here for references. Wait.... telling her your a forum nerd might not be the best lead in.... don't tell her that.
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Hmmm.....in the spur of the moment...it may be fun.
But since I'm a prudent thinker....I probably wouldn't do it. It depends on your emotional state and how well you'll take it if things don't go as planned.
If I had a male friend like that, I would have reservations about seriously considering him for a romantic partner, at least, right at that moment.
I guess the best course of action is to go with the flow and guard your emotions.
I'd tell her how you feel without any ambiguity. Then I'd tell her she doesn't have to respond and can take as much time as she likes to sort through her feelings. Don't leave room for confusion.
My thinking on this is basically it's time to get the air cleared. For myself, once I find a guy doesn't have feelings for me, my feelings for him evaporate almost instantly. So I'm a big fan of ripping off that bandaid.
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