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Run, do not walk run. I should have left years ago inertia etc sets in. I have a FWB that I see every 3 or 4 months that helps me keep my sanity. It's a lonely life I would not wish on anybody.
We've gone through dry spells, and having 3 young kids does make it tough to get laid more than a few times a week, but yes it is very important. Very.
Yes, some women love sex and get horny. I've been married for 10 years, been with my husband for 13 years, have been on the pill for the majority of the time (obviously not when we were trying to get pregnant and while I was pregnant), and I still love having sex with my husband.
Well break up with her before you have any kids while it is still easy. No one wants a sexless marriage.
It sounds harsh, but have a serious talk with your wife and let her know that you are so concerned that you are considering divorce. The reaction will tell you if there's any reason for hope or not. Because early 30's is way too early to not be having sex.
Now, I don't want to hear that you've been having sex 3 times a week but that's just not enough for you!
Just out of curiosity, do women in general enjoy sex like men do? I guess, do women get horny like guys do?
I know that birth control pill's kill libido, or can as well. She is currently on that. Perhaps a different brand would work better?
I know that guys are always in the mood, or usually at least, but i've always wondered what girls think/feel as a whole.
Some women do, yes. But I also know women who aren't into it that much. It's really individual, but there are also many other factors.
Have you talked with her to see if she is going through anything?
I had an amazing sex life, very active sex drive, before my recent pregnancy. It was pretty active and fun even after kids, so having kids didn't ruin my sex drive, but by the third trimester of my last pregnancy we were having sex much less. It became very uncomfortable.
And then after birth I hemorrhaged and ended up becoming anemic, and that didn't subside until 10 weeks postpartum, and add in PPD, hormonal issues and finally diagnosed vitamin D deficiency, well, it's been 6 months. My husband has been nothing but understanding and empathetic, and I'd flip my sh*t if he were to complain about not getting any sex.
We've found other ways to be close and intimate that doesn't include sex. He explained that he absolutely does NOT want me to have sex out of duty or obligation. This isn't medieval era or the 1950's. That he wants me to be able and ready, and there have been times I wanted to have sex, but with the crazy symptoms, body aches, bone pain, debilitating fatigue, it just doesn't happen. I also explained to him that this isn't something I like or desire. That I am unwilling to have sex. That isn't it at all. I look forward to the day I can sleep 8 hours and feel well-rested rather than dead tired, sluggish and achy. My doctor explained it can take 6 months before most symptoms resolve and a year or longer before feeling "normal." I'm not waiting that long to have sex again, but my husband understands that this factor plays a huge role in the lack of sex. Before my pregnancy I was the one to initiate a lot of the time, and in early pregnancy, and I had the higher sex drive.
If your wife is truly uninterested in sex, not unable, but unwilling, and you can't live in such a marriage, then perhaps you'll have to reevaluate your marriage.
I think there are some good points here but let me throw in some things that woman find sexy that most men would never consider romantic.
Cuddling without sex being expected.
Hold her hand when you go out.
Make her dinner or clean the kitchen if you don't do this already.
Hopefully sex last more than 2 minutes as that is a turn off for most women
I think it is not easy to tell your SO that they aren't living up sexually to their desires.
It's possible she no longer loves you. It can be very hard for some women to be intimate with someone they no longer have feelings for, painful even.
I'm gonna expound on this for a sec.. As a 30-something yr old woman (no kids, not married) my sex drive is the biggest indicator (for me) of what's goin on beneath the surface, as it reflects my emotional state to a T. If a relationship is not where I need to be, the first thing to go is always my sex drive and desire for that partner. I honestly don't know if there are solutions for "getting it back" , because once I lose interest sexually, it's over for me. I am etremely cautious of marriage for that reason. There are so many mismatched couples stuck with the wrong partner.. I'd rather be alone than be one of them.
How do you not know these things about your partner after 10 years??? Do you two communicate at all?
^^^this. Let me guess, sex isn't the only thing that's changed over the course of 10 years.
Theses posts come up here repeatedly, that the woman's sex drive isn't the same as when they were dating. What else isn't, because that might be a clue as to why.
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