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So you become friends with benefits with a girl, get attached, you get really drunk and confess your feelings for her, she doesn't feel the same way, starts treating you different, you start panicking because you might "loose the girl of your dreams," confront her about he situation and she tells you to give her some space, and now you're here asking if you can get her back even though there wasn't any bond to begin with- besides sexual.
She's not the girl of your dreams, go out and get someone else. The only thing you two had in common was sexual desire. She was a friend with benefits and that is all.
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I am certainly not going to give you advice in getting back with her. When I started reading your posting I knew right away what the biggest issue with you is and this one sentence you said sums it up: "Alcohol in large quantity can turn me into someone who i hate."
I got news for you. Alcohol in large quantities can turn anyone into someone everyone hates--except for another drunk maybe. I am a recovering alcohol. Been there, done that--the excessive drinking, the blackouts, doing things I regret. I was a complete b**** and so very unlike who I really am when sober. I am in recovery now and don't ever want to go back to all of that crap. I am so glad I am not living in that world anymore because I was miserable! Now, I cannot tell someone else that they are an alcoholic. That is for the individual to decide. I can say it sounds like you, at the very least, have a drinking problem, and until you get a handle on that, any relationship you get into will have problems. So if you continue to get wasted like it sounds like you do, get ready......that posting you did above is going to sound like a breeze compared to what you are in for. And I certainly hope it doesn't take you as long to grow up and act more responsible as it did me.
You said you're done with it. So what steps are you going to take to ensure this never happens again?
Blackout drunk is NOT normal. At all. The fact that its happened more than once lets me know that you have a problem. Not judging you, not looking down on you. But you do need to truly make sure this never happens again. You're still young, you can still learn how to control it, instead of trying to get help in your 40s and 50s, when its gotten out of control and your life is a wreck. Get some help now, so it doesn't bite you in the butt later.
Now, where your girl is concerned, I'm giving her a dirty look right now. You've mentioned to her several times that you have a problem with excessive alcohol, but yet she still thought it was ok to talk you into doing multiple shots (FYI, no one should be able to force you to do something that you know won't end well for you--another hint that you have a problem you need to nip in the bud now). I'm not sure she's such a great person. You know better than I would, but I'd think long and hard about that. However, now that she's seen firsthand what you've mentioned (groping another girl in front of her isn't a good look no matter how you cut it) she may be having second, third, fourth thoughts. If I were you, I'd disengage, take it as a lesson learned and work to improve myself. Again, you're young. This girl that looks like the girl of your dreams this year may not seem so bright and shiny 2, 3 years down the road.
Please, get some help. Because you're courting legal trouble too. The next time this happens, you could have a sexual assault charge to deal with. You've been lucky so far.
Last edited by weeblywobbly; 06-14-2015 at 03:35 PM..
Reason: grammar
I am certainly not going to give you advice in getting back with her. When I started reading your posting I knew right away what the biggest issue with you is and this one sentence you said sums it up: "Alcohol in large quantity can turn me into someone who i hate."
I got news for you. Alcohol in large quantities can turn anyone into someone everyone hates--except for another drunk maybe. I am a recovering alcohol. Been there, done that--the excessive drinking, the blackouts, doing things I regret. I was a complete b**** and so very unlike who I really am when sober. I am in recovery now and don't ever want to go back to all of that crap. I am so glad I am not living in that world anymore because I was miserable! Now, I cannot tell someone else that they are an alcoholic. That is for the individual to decide. I can say it sounds like you, at the very least, have a drinking problem, and until you get a handle on that, any relationship you get into will have problems. So if you continue to get wasted like it sounds like you do, get ready......that posting you did above is going to sound like a breeze compared to what you are in for. And I certainly hope it doesn't take you as long to grow up and act more responsible as it did me.
I am taking your post to heart. Yeah I have done some things that i regret in the past while drinking (getting in fights, public intoxication tickets, getting lost, etc.) but this time was by far the lowest. I blew a great thing that I had with a great girl. Yeah it wasnt that serious yet but who knows what it could have been. I am done with drinking. Thank you for your insight
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