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Same here. We had agnostic parents, and my brothers and I took 3 very different paths (1 wiccan, 1 reform jew, 1 atheist-turned-evangelical-christian-turned-atheist). Even my own kids, as young as they are still, the older two are developing very different thought processes when it comes to religion.
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Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
My husband and his brother have different beliefs and they were raised not just in the same religion but the same family!
Same here. We had agnostic parents, and my brothers and I took 3 very different paths (1 wiccan, 1 reform jew, 1 atheist-turned-evangelical-christian-turned-atheist). Even my own kids, as young as they are still, the older two are developing very different thought processes when it comes to religion.
I'm guessing the one jumping all over is you, lol . I like your injections of humor.
My boyfriend is a Christian and I am an atheist. He wants to get married. Can this work? We've been dating for about four years. We were both born and raised in the SDA church. I always had my doubts but over the last few years, I have become comfortable with my unbelief in God. I have not yet "come out" as an atheist. I continue to attend church and I even help out in certain church activities. I think I need to stop attending because I think it makes things confusing. But leaving is hard and finding something else to fill my time is hard. I consider my local church to be part of my family and I still consider myself a cultural SDA. I have told my parents and my boyfriend about this but I believe they are in denial. He seems to think I will just come around some day. I wouldn't say never but I don't see how I could ever become a believer again. I don't see myself raising little SDA children. I am not rejecting religion just to be a rebel. This is something I've thought long and hard about. I had a period of time where I really tried to make myself believe. But in the end, I've come to a conclusion I am comfortable with. The idea of marrying someone and faking my faith isn't appealing at all. He isn't the type who merely goes to church every week casually. He is very much involved, active, and holds leadership positions.Perhaps if he were willing to compromise, it could work... I don't know. Or do we just need to cut our losses and move on?
If you don't see yourself raising SDA children and he's very involved, you can't compromise on some very important issues. Sounds like you both want to change each other.
You may think the issue is between him and you. Place children in the equation, and ask what's fair for the future of the kids and the type of household they will grow up in.
People go to war because of religion. How do you think it's going to affect a marriage? Let alone, children..?
My boyfriend is a Christian and I am an atheist. He wants to get married. Can this work? We've been dating for about four years. We were both born and raised in the SDA church. I always had my doubts but over the last few years, I have become comfortable with my unbelief in God. I have not yet "come out" as an atheist. I continue to attend church and I even help out in certain church activities. I think I need to stop attending because I think it makes things confusing. But leaving is hard and finding something else to fill my time is hard. I consider my local church to be part of my family and I still consider myself a cultural SDA. I have told my parents and my boyfriend about this but I believe they are in denial. He seems to think I will just come around some day. I wouldn't say never but I don't see how I could ever become a believer again. I don't see myself raising little SDA children. I am not rejecting religion just to be a rebel. This is something I've thought long and hard about. I had a period of time where I really tried to make myself believe. But in the end, I've come to a conclusion I am comfortable with. The idea of marrying someone and faking my faith isn't appealing at all. He isn't the type who merely goes to church every week casually. He is very much involved, active, and holds leadership positions.Perhaps if he were willing to compromise, it could work... I don't know. Or do we just need to cut our losses and move on?
Faking it never, ever works. It will most likely lead to divorce or an unhappily married existence.
If you are strong about your convictions, then you need to face them and let everyone know. Then decision needs to be made which way to go. If you aren't comfortable marrying him, you need to initiate the breakup.
It will be hard and painful. But life isn't easy.
I showed him you posts. He said to thank you for reminding him why he stopped going to church and chooses to worship at home instead
Interesting. I did the same thing...but mainly because it was sorta' unsettling seeing single moms and the like getting a pat on the back all while someone was trying to set them up with me.
I am a Christian and I would not date anyone who isn't. Period end of sentence. The Word is clear on being equally yoked. If there are children down the line as well, that will be an issue. JMO, people should have this discussion in the beginning of a dating/relationship, this way no time is wasted.
Ms. OP, is your boyfriend family overly religious? Like overly religious, it just have to be a certtain in their religion? Did your boyfriend family verbally asked you to convert to their religion? Did your boyfriend family verbally asked you that your future children have to be raise by their religion?
Or you just assume? Have you talk to them yet? Like sit down and have an actual talk with both parties present.
It could work if you boyfriend family is not overly religious. You just need to put in the extra effort in compromise and honest communication. And respect each others religion/beliefts. If you rhusbabnd familys ide want you to attend church sometimes iwth them, then do so, do it out of respect for your father/mother in-law.
I am Chinese (Asian-American) and I'm Buddhist, big time Buddhist here. I go to Buddhist temple.
My husband ancestor come from Sierra Leone (West Africa), but his grandfather, father and him born in USA so he is African-American. His family is Christian. My husband is not religious, but my mother in-law sure go to church (she not overly religious though) BUT she do make sure she go to church.
I always respect her and her religion, eventhough to be frank, I don't know much about Christian.
Not only me and my husband have two different religions, but we also have a huge cultural diffence between us, and it works.
This relationship eversince met, dated and married; it is full of fidelity, there no third party between us. The marriage so far have been sooo peaceful and loving, there just isn't any arguments between us, zip zero nada! It is a blessing, but sometimes my brain be like come on husband argue with me, a little argument here and there won't hurt, lol
Hey, if my marriage can work, yours definately can work. My husband believe in effort, talk and work it out together. I learn alot from my husband, because I'm the girl that tends to run way from my feelings and emotions. Good luck Ms. OP
Last edited by ishe; 06-16-2015 at 06:19 AM..
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. I like your injections of humor.
