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While I do believe that the current court system favors women/mothers, it is a rebound from when women/mothers had almost no rights. I think the pendulum needs to swing to the middle.
I call bull on only supporting your kids in certain situations, that's not how it works. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons, and it is no ones business the details. The divorce rate is not 50% but those with personal agendas are not going to look at the math/data to see that.
Bottom line, if you do not want to get married, don't. You don't need to post some manifesto to the world to live your life how you want.
Actually I believe marriage is a beautiful thing, or at least it was 30+ years ago.
It's just that we no longer live in a society that holds up marriage or even long term relationships.
There are things that I have to deal with in relationships that my father never had to deal with.
My ideal marriage/relationship would be symbiotic, hard to do in a culture where everyone else was raised to be individualistic. hence all the loneliness out there.
And yet divorced men are more likely than divorced women to get remarried...
Poor people are far less likely to married (the reasons should be obvious). Instead successful educated people are more likely to be married to people like themselves.
ps: the divorce rate isn't 50% and hasn't been for a while.
Thats because marriage is great for men, at least at first, I compare it to getting hooked on a drug, you spend your life chasing that first high. I have a friend that was married 4 times, the first year he was always on cloud nine.
Actually I believe marriage is a beautiful thing, or at least it was 30+ years ago.
It's just that we no longer live in a society that holds up marriage or even long term relationships.
There are things that I have to deal with in relationships that my father never had to deal with.
My ideal marriage/relationship would be symbiotic, hard to do in a culture where everyone else was raised to be individualistic. hence all the loneliness out there.
Marriage was not necessarily a beautiful thing 30 years ago. Divorce would essentially make you an outcast and women did not have a lot of job options to support themselves, so tended to hang in there even if they were miserable.
I think marriage is more beautiful now because people who marry want to be married to each other, not because it is the only way for a woman to get away from her parents, or because it is was society expects from a man.
I think relationships can be symbiotic and the partners can be individuals, that's what I mainly see in my married friends. I think we are becoming a absorbed culture with short attention spans. But that is both genders, and certainly not everyone.
I've mentioned before, dating is to find the one (whatever your definition), you don't need 100s of people to be compatible, just the one.
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Actually I believe marriage is a beautiful thing, or at least it was 30+ years ago.
It's just that we no longer live in a society that holds up marriage or even long term relationships.
There are things that I have to deal with in relationships that my father never had to deal with.
My ideal marriage/relationship would be symbiotic, hard to do in a culture where everyone else was raised to be individualistic. hence all the loneliness out there.
What was that year when all relationships were good, again?
If you don't want to be paying all your money towards a wife then marry a woman with a career. If you don't want to pay child support, don't have kids. The mistake men who lose money make is often they look for the hottest, youngest woman without seeing her morals and values. They have to see that she's not out for her money. I know a lot of women who are good people and not out to steal but many men ignore therm because they are older or less attractive. These same guys seek the hottest youngest women then wonder why they got stung. Sorry, no sympathy for them. If people chose better we'd see less situations like this.
If you are that worried, get a pre-nup before getting married. Most of the ones that are unhappy are the ones that never set one up prior to marriage. You set it any way you want to protect yourself.
It is a weird world we live in now, definitely not our parent's world. The friends I know that are going through divorce all all women that make significantly more than their husbands. It seems to deviate towards joint custody for children, child support to the lower income spouse, and if they have property or money post-marriage, it is split or negotiated. They did NOT have a pre-nup set up. My close friend has one set up for all her assets prior to marriage, but set to expire 7 years of marriage (if they last that long.) So it is all about planning in advance. If you don't, you lose.
This. I don't know how many times I have posted to men here that they really, really should consider the financial status (work, retirement, etc.) of a woman they may marry
You are right and I think you have said it before on how men, unlike women, usually do not mind a girl's economic status (her job, how much she makes, etc.) as long as the is attractive to a guy and nice to be with but guys should consider her status. You are right.
Quote:
While I do believe that the current court system favors women/mothers, it is a rebound from when women/mothers had almost no rights. I think the pendulum needs to swing to the middle
Don't get to hear women admit that the court system does favor women. Wish the pendulum swings to the middle too.
If you don't want to be paying all your money towards a wife then marry a woman with a career. If you don't want to pay child support, don't have kids. The mistake men who lose money make is often they look for the hottest, youngest woman without seeing her morals and values. They have to see that she's not out for her money. I know a lot of women who are good people and not out to steal but many men ignore therm because they are older or less attractive. These same guys seek the hottest youngest women then wonder why they got stung. Sorry, no sympathy for them. If people chose better we'd see less situations like this.
And thats where the romantic in me kicks in. I dont think love and marriage should be based on money, and many women can put on an act, look how many studies have been done on how sex drops after marriage. you would thing it would increase because you are under the same roof now.
Poor/low income men get screwed worse in divorce than more affluent men - if they have children. Child support may be low, but it's particularly burdensome, and many low income men don't have steady incomes, so may miss payments, end up in jail, lose their license, face fines, and generally can't get out of the hole the system buries them in. Marriage is an especially raw deal for low income divorced men with children. So, if you're low income, either don't marry or don't have kids! You'll probably regret it.
Poor/low income men get screwed worse in divorce than more affluent men - if they have children. Child support may be low, but it's particularly burdensome, and many low income men don't have steady incomes, so may miss payments, end up in jail, lose their license, face fines, and generally can't get out of the hole the system buries them in. Marriage is an especially raw deal for low income divorced men with children. So, if you're low income, either don't marry or don't have kids! You'll probably regret it.
Thats why i said depending on your state. some states are lax in those laws, some are strict.
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