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I haven't been on here since February but I don't know where to turn after recent developments. I'm not going to touch on my original post however I will say that we ended up becoming good friends again.
Sorry if I jump around during this post...
Back in March she invited me over to hang out again and we had a great time, which led to us making arrangements to go out one Saturday night a few weeks later. We do and end up having a few drinks. She said that I have to stay at her place again since she didn't want me to drive home after dropping her off. We sit up and chat a little and next thing I know we start kissing which led to us sleeping together. Two days later she texts me and says that she's sorry for making things confusing and how it wasn't fair to me for how she acted. I told her I was just as guilty as she was so no apologies are needed. She asks me to come over a few hours later just to sit and talk, which I do. She starts making plans for me to come over and watch a movie, go out to lunch, take a walk, etc... for a future day. Both of us are completely sober and end up doing the same thing we did that Saturday night.
We actually make plans to go on a day trip to a different city for the following weekend. So we go on this trip and on the way home she tells me it was the best day of her entire life and starts crying saying she's so happy we are friends again and feels like us being intimate really messed things up again. I was pretty tired from a long day and just told her we can talk about this another day.
Fast forward to May. Numerous times I've tried to get her to hang out again and she keeps turning it down. I finally ask her why am I the only one she can't hang out with anymore...she says "I'm worried we were getting close again and I really don't want to end up hurting you again. I love you so much and miss you like crazy and I don't know what to do."
While I know it's in my best interest to run like the wind I just can't bring myself to do that, I know she has strong feelings for me as do I for her. We still talk on a daily basis and the topic of "us" is on the tip of my tongue but I just can't pull the trigger. Not yet anyway, mainly because I'm not sure how to bring it up.
To refresh my memory, I returned to your previous thread - now I remember you. That thread was pretty much all about how this woman jerked you around...and she is STILL doing it!! And you are STILL letting her! This pattern is doomed to repeat indefinitely until you decide to get off this crazy train. You seem like a nice guy, I wish you wanted better for yourself. There are so many women out there who would treat you so much better. Bottom line: if she wanted to be with you, she would.
She is playing you.....and you are allowing her to do so.
My guess is that she is very insecure. You make her feel attractive, desirable and other adjectives which you can probably fill in the blanks for those. She uses sex as a lure than she does a bait and switch once she has you hooked again. "Oh, I'm sorry....we really shouldn't have slept together....now I'm sooooo confused." LOL! Good one!
She uses you when her "well of men" is empty and takes a dose of WFC2015 which helps satiate her needs for the time being. Once that dose wears off, she'll either take more or wean off of it for awhile and go looking for another man to fulfill her cravings. Confront her about her behavior than she will prob. be running like the wind herself. She is not into being controlled by anyone--she wants that role--to be the controller. It gives her a kind of pleasure to have you (and no doubt others) take her back and particularly when she has treated you like a piece of doo-doo on her shoe and dumped you.
You will be fine as long as you are happy with her calling all of the shots and don't mind her taking up your time with her foolishness. I would think you would want to be with someone who treats you better than that. I can relate to a degree with what you are going through. Only thing is...I was where you are and it was men who would do that kind of shoe doo to me!
I hear what you both are saying, and I was thinking the same thing. I guess you can say I am forcing myself to see something positive since that's the type of person I usually am. I guess my only choice here is to tell her that as much as I appreciate our friendship again it's actually doing more harm to me to keep it going. My feelings are still, and probably will be, too strong for just a friendship for quite some time yet.
I got together with an ex-boyfriend several times over the course of 7 or 8 years. We met when I was 20 and he was 21. He always broke my heart. Usually he was on the rebound from someone else. I was always there for him as I really cared for him besides the sex was great, lol. In between his contacting me or running into each other, I dated other guys. Among them was my husband who at the time wasn't ready to commit. He finally did but I still remember the guy who broke my heart over and over.
This ex probably used me but I didn't care. Now, I realize that the pain he caused me was not worth it. I thought the attraction was mutual but he always knew I would be available. I guess I was just a comforting port in the storm who would give him what he wanted. Btw, he was a bad boy.
I hope she doesn't break your heart. You sound like a nice guy. I can understand the attraction but please don't lose your self-respect.
I got together with an ex-boyfriend several times over the course of 7 or 8 years. We met when I was 20 and he was 21. He always broke my heart. Usually he was on the rebound from someone else. I was always there for him as I really cared for him besides the sex was great, lol. In between his contacting me or running into each other, I dated other guys. Among them was my husband who at the time wasn't ready to commit. He finally did but I still remember the guy who broke my heart over and over.
This ex probably used me but I didn't care. Now, I realize that the pain he caused me was not worth it. I thought the attraction was mutual but he always knew I would be available. I guess I was just a comforting port in the storm who would give him what he wanted. Btw, he was a bad boy.
I hope she doesn't break your heart. You sound like a nice guy. I can understand the attraction but please don't lose your self-respect.
I'm pretty sure I know what happened in my current situation. I went NC for quite awhile. When she contacted me out of the blue after the NC and we started communicating again I became too available to her over the course of us talking again and now since I'm that available again for her I'm just being brushed under the rug. Oh well, her loss I guess.
most women have a plan b...a distraction in between mr wonderfuls
sounds like your plan c
is this what you want for yourself
If it were me id hit it a few times and move on...show her what it feels like to be plan c
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