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OP.....you might want to consider that you are giving off some red flags as well.....if you aren't comfortable dating. ..you may might want to hold off forvawhile.
If I met a guy acting like you...I'd have to wonder what they are hiding.
The bolded part is where I was thinking the same thing. I understand wanting privacy, but there are steps a person has to take to get to know someone, and that means giving up information about yourself. If a person is that much afraid of being stalked, killed or what not. Don't date. Just keep to yourself. Anything you do with another person, trust is going to have be given at some point, and if you are not going to do that, the other person is going to think you are the one with the problem. You have to judge people as individuals, and get to know them for them. Not assume that everyone is guilty unti proven innocence.
The bolded part is where I was thinking the same thing. I understand wanting privacy, but there are steps a person has to take to get to know someone, and that means giving up information about yourself. If a person is that much afraid of being stalked, killed or what not. Don't date. Just keep to yourself. Anything you do with another person, trust is going to have be given at some point, and if you are not going to do that, the other person is going to think you are the one with the problem. You have to judge people as individuals, and get to know them for them. Not assume that everyone is guilty unti proven innocence.
You must have not read my OP then. I did give up personal information. She has my full name and phone number. That's a lot for someone I just met, but the comment saying oh yea I'm definitely crazy shot up a big red flag. I need to know if it is a legitimate red flag or if my past experiences are tainting my perspective.
I've got to say that I joke around like that sometimes too and I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy lol. My favorite thing to say is, "We're all crazy and we just have to find someone whose craziness matches our own." Most guys find it kind of funny, but maybe I'd better stop that lol.
I've got to say that I joke around like that sometimes too and I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy lol. My favorite thing to say is, "We're all crazy and we just have to find someone whose craziness matches our own." Most guys find it kind of funny, but maybe I'd better stop that lol.
I think its important to show OP the stinking thinking on his part and thats important, but i also believe what is equally important is to kinda send him in the right direction to get tools to help himself with these issues. Its one thing to know sometimes is off its another to know how to change it.
You must have not read my OP then. I did give up personal information. She has my full name and phone number. That's a lot for someone I just met, but the comment saying oh yea I'm definitely crazy shot up a big red flag. I need to know if it is a legitimate red flag or if my past experiences are tainting my perspective.
No....name and a cell phone is not a lot to give out....and you seemed to do that much rather reluctantly. Using anoymous texting services?
If you are going to approach dating with this level of paranoia and suspension..you need to really think about this.
No....name and a cell phone is not a lot to give out....and you seemed to do that much rather reluctantly. Using anoymous texting services?
If you are going to approach dating with this level of paranoia and suspension..you need to really think about this.
You obviously have never been stalked before and are being naive. Trust isn't built immediately so maintaining a level of privacy certainly until you meet in person is good sense. If the person turns out to be mentally ill, do you really want them to know where you work and home address?
Actually I wait until I have met a guy in person before giving out the cell, and then, only if I am fairly sure I want to see them again. I've carried on a message convo on OKC with a dude for over a month and never gave him my phone # or last name. But I doubt if I'm going out of my way to spend time with him again although...I have a feeling our paths might cross inadvertently. That might be awkward when that happens. I don't know. I did tell him that I was moving on and that he and I probably would not wind up being a thing, but he still wanted to be friends and chat, so whatever. *shrug* When he messages, I respond. Nice guy, I just wasn't that into him.
I know what kind of research I am capable of with just a full name and a name of a city or a cell phone number. So I prefer not to hand out my personal info. While I'm an open book in some regards, I prefer that none of these people show up at my work for instance, looking for me. Home would be fine, my ex would happily deal with them.
Why wouldn't you just ask her straight out, 'why do you say you're crazy?' Just be direct. I bet her answer/reaction will be even more revealing than the original comment.
I would definitely see that as a red flag. It's true people usually tell you exactly who they are (even if it's just a hint-) and you should believe them the first time. I mean, why would a nice person just say that out of the blue for no reason? Is she teasing you, or warning you? Even if she's not hinting to anything serious, I still find it odd.
Beware of anyone who tries to act too 'chummy' from the get-go, when you just barely met.
Anyway, just ask & see what she says. And oh yeah, do a background check.
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