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I recently decided to take dip into the waters of online dating after moving to a new city. My experiences with online dating range from good to down right scary. I seem to have the misfortune of crossing paths online with women who have mental issues, and they develop strong attractions to me. I've been stalked a few times a a result. So anytime I go online, I exercise extreme caution.
Even so, it's now even more difficult to maintain privacy. I met a lady in my area who seemed to hit all my attraction points and was super nice. She wanted to immediately move to text messages which knocks down my first layer of anonymity. I used pinger to text without my real number, but soon discovered that I was going to have to use my real number if I wanted to phone chat. We phone chatted and I felt comfortable enough to go ahead and have a dinner meeting. She made mentioned that I had not even gave her my last name so I knew I couldn't hold out on that any longer.
Things were going well, she seemed very attracted to me ,texting me every day and anxious to meet again. Then she dropped a bombshell text on me. She asked if I had told my family that I had a crazy woman after me. I replied:
"lol well I hope that's not true"
And her response was:
"I'm crazy, for sure. Let's just hope it's a crazy you don't mind *wink* "
Big red flag went up, and my immediate thought was oh crap, I gotta severe all connection to this woman immediately. I have not sent any communication since that text. The first day, nothing from her, but unfortunately I started getting texts yesterday:
"Hi are you working hard or hardly working?"
"Did I scare you off with my crazy crack, or you just busy?"
Maybe she was just being playful and kidding. On the other hand, she said "I'm crazy for sure". Why would someone say that even as a joke? The last thing I want is some crazy woman harassing me and causing problems. I am just completely stuck on what is the best course of action.
My options appear to be:
1. Severe all contact, do not reply to the texts, put her on the block list and hope she doesn't find out my physical address and forget about me. Problem here is if she really is nuts this method might only make her mad and more determined to contact me.
2. Reply to the text and tell her that the comment made me uncomfortable and find out why she made it.
Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion.
3. Tell her something like I'm dealing with a family crisis and will be out of touch for a good while. This would put some time distance between last contact and hopefully she'll move on.
I'd go with my gut (of course, I say that and am failing to do it myself with an online date I set up for this weekend... but that's more of a case of, "I don't see this working" as opposed to "red flag" but when I found out the person made all kinds of special arrangements to meet me, I figured I at least owe a effort to meet face-to-face).
Back to you... Whatever you do, don't lie. It just complicates things. If the crazy quip was a turn off, just tell her you are no longer interested. You don't owe her any explanations. It's not like she's your girlfriend or you have any kind of commitment to her. Just be nice about it and wish her luck. If it becomes a problem later, block her.
It sounds like she was flirting.....but if that bothers you than just politely end it and stop communication.
"Crazy" doesn't always mean 'Silence of the Lambs/Basic Instinct' level nuts...it can mean more the Steve Martin 'wild and crazy'...just a bit spontaneous and irreverent.
I have actually said "I'm crazy" (although most alcoholics do have crazy thinking and some of us joke about it.) I cannot speak for her--maybe she really is "crazy". Good for you being cautious.
If you are already uncomfortable about her, why waste more time? You can block her number, even change your number (although a pain, I know). She seems to be annoying with what sounds like quite a few texts in a short amount of time. That would be a bigger red flag to me--that she is really needy and has or will latch onto you. It is easier to get rid of someone early on than later. How you do it--by letting her know or just avoidance is up to you. Although if you tell her to not contact you anymore through texting/phone calls, and she does it--even email, you can report her to your carrier because it is illegal for one to contact another using phone and/or internet once they have been told not to--it's called harrassment at that point.
Next time you meet someone online and are interested in meeting them, before giving your number, last name or anything private about yourself, I'd meet in a place where there are alot of people--preferably when it is still light outside. I would park my car a little distance away from your meeting place. Arrive several minutes earlier. You really do not know who you are dealing with online and it is better to be safe than sorry.
To me, it sounds like she was trying to downplay her potential for crazy by distracting you with a sexual overtone.. But that part about telling your family a crazy woman is after you.... I'd believe her.
I've had women tell me they were crazy in the past. They weren't, for the most part. They were just crazy for me.
Most people that are truly nuts, don't know it (or won't admit it).
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