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When I was 18-21, I slept around a lot until I had a steady girlfriend. I've had consistently fewer partners over the years, but have had way, way more partners than steady relationships. I've had three to four steady relationships in my life, but over twenty partners.
Did you end up having a lot of partners relative to the number of serious relationships you've had? Why?
Yes.
Having a partner for a short time is easy.
Having a relationship is hard.
For a chunk of my life I really didn't have the time or energy it takes to commit to a LTR.
Now I don't have the patience.
One thing I believed early in my teen years that probably contributed to a few of my sexual deeds, was that if you had any play going on that aroused a man, you had some kind of an obligation to take it to its final conclusion. Teenage boys just LOVE to make a girl feel guilty for getting them excited and not giving up the prize. Eventually I came to the realization that there is no reason they can't just take care of that problem themselves...it's not really my problem, unless I really want it to be. So there's that.
Because I started young and got most of my "numbers" in as a teenager, I don't really consider any of those to be serious relationships even though some of them were boyfriends. My recent ex used to think that as many guys as I slept with, I just HAD to be cheating on any boyfriends I had...but that's not true. I just didn't have a whole ton of boyfriends, most of them were FWB, with no implied or expressed commitment to fidelity involved on either side. That's how I wanted it. When I did have a bf, I was faithful.
Some posters have been disgusted or scandalized by my numbers, but I can't imagine caring, I'm 36 years old, and that was a chapter in my life almost two decades past, in a land far away, involving people I never even see anymore...*shrug*
Between age 14-18, I had 34 partners (EDIT: 34 males. There were also four or five females.) I can remember maybe 5-10 that I actually cared about and retain a positive feeling towards or would have liked to have kept in my life to some degree. The rest didn't and don't matter.
I stayed with the same partner from age 18, faithfully until our recent split, for 18 years, and that is the only relationship I've ever had that I consider "serious"...and it was WAY too serious for my preferences. Now I am avoiding serious. But I'm also not jumping in the sack with just anyone...I at least want men to be on the upper end of sexually attractive by my criteria. I'm a lot pickier than my teenage self was. I place more value on my time, how I spend it, and with whom.
One thing I believed early in my teen years that probably contributed to a few of my sexual deeds, was that if you had any play going on that aroused a man, you had some kind of an obligation to take it to its final conclusion. Teenage boys just LOVE to make a girl feel guilty for getting them excited and not giving up the prize.
I'm so glad I didn't know guys like this (or, more likely, they just didn't happen to be among the guys with whom I surrounded myself).
See, I had the opposite problem at that age... but it still came down to sex. I didn't get much action for most of high school because I looked so young that boys actually got uncomfortable at the prospect of trying to get me into bed . Eventually one brave young lad took one for team, and we ended up dating for 2 years so it couldn't have been that bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
One thing I believed early in my teen years that probably contributed to a few of my sexual deeds, was that if you had any play going on that aroused a man, you had some kind of an obligation to take it to its final conclusion. Teenage boys just LOVE to make a girl feel guilty for getting them excited and not giving up the prize. Eventually I came to the realization that there is no reason they can't just take care of that problem themselves...it's not really my problem, unless I really want it to be. So there's that.
See, I had the opposite problem at that age... but it still came down to sex. I didn't get much action for most of high school because I looked so young that boys actually got uncomfortable at the prospect of trying to get me into bed . Eventually one brave young lad took one for team, and we ended up dating for 2 years so it couldn't have been that bad.
This was me in high school, at about the height of my shenanigans, age 16. I'm the one in the middle.
I was actually dreading my sons being teenagers, but astonishingly they are really good kids who don't get in NEAR the kind of trouble I did. I was like a hippie, only darker and spookier. All sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll... They on the other hand are all tabletop RPG's, video games, and viola. Neither of them is particularly rebellious for its own sake. Blows my freakin' mind, sometimes...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I was actually dreading my sons being teenagers, but astonishingly they are really good kids who don't get in NEAR the kind of trouble I did. I was like a hippie, only darker and spookier. All sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll... They on the other hand are all tabletop RPG's, video games, and viola. Neither of them is particularly rebellious for its own sake. Blows my freakin' mind, sometimes...
I hear this from so very very many people. That the high schoolers of today are positively tame and even boring compared to how we were in the 70s and 80s.
Yeah, you definitely looked more mature than I did. My prospects eventually improved when, sometime during the summer before the start of junior year, I woke up with a set of D cups.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
This was me in high school, at about the height of my shenanigans, age 16. I'm the one in the middle.
I was actually dreading my sons being teenagers, but astonishingly they are really good kids who don't get in NEAR the kind of trouble I did. I was like a hippie, only darker and spookier. All sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll... They on the other hand are all tabletop RPG's, video games, and viola. Neither of them is particularly rebellious for its own sake. Blows my freakin' mind, sometimes...
There was not a single rebellious teen in my household, out of four siblings. Raising us was a cakewalk for my parents, something they fully acknowledge now that we're all adults and have/are having our own kids.
I credit my parents with stumbling their way into building a pretty sweet dynamic. We didn't really HAVE anything to rebel against. Things were cool.
My dad was raised in a similar household, so he never had any real cause to rebel, either. My mom, maybe a little, due to some overly strict parenting, but for the most part, pretty tame.
I hear this from so very very many people. That the high schoolers of today are positively tame and even boring compared to how we were in the 70s and 80s.
Yup, and I hear they were all tamer than the teens and young adults from the 60s.
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. Eventually one brave young lad took one for team, and we ended up dating for 2 years so it couldn't have been that bad.
