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At risk of painting myself as vain...I will answer.
I tried OLD because I am very shy and do not appear approachable, have very specific beliefs, values and goals, and I do not like the kind of guys who hit on me in nightspots (don't tend to be quality guys). I am NOT interested in hook-ups and flings.
However, I do not like OLD because I realized compatible people will come into your life naturally; and you have twice as many duds hitting on you online, which gets exhausting to sort through. It was just a big waste of time and energy, although yes, it can be an instant ego boost, until you're disappointed by the lack of compatibility in men available online.
Same here. Now whether or not I am attractive, who knows. I have gotten lots of compliments. That range from innocent to sexual. But Lord knows if they were honest, or just making small talk and being nice, or horny in some cases. I stopped taking them to heart long ago. So, all subjective. I also may be unapproachable. had people ask what I was mad about, when I wasn't aware I even looked mad.
But I am very quiet, and shy on top of it, in the sense I don't approach people 1st, even other women, least for casual conversation. If it's business related, no problem. I also live in a small rural town in West TN. Most of the guys who aren't afraid to approach or be blunt they're interested are not within my taste. Sloppy, gold teeth, grills, sagging pants, too much jewelry, weed smokers, heavy drinkers, had babies with other women already. schmucks. And some who look like bums, if they weren't. But these types of guys are rampant here. it's not hard to turn and find one that fits one, if not all, of that criteria.
So no shock I didn't want any of that, and probably never will, even for a hook-up. I may get called "too picky." But I think my dislikes about the guys who have approached are reasonable.
Same here. Now whether or not I am attractive, who knows. I have gotten lots of compliments. That range from innocent to sexual. But Lord knows if they were honest, or just making small talk and being nice, or horny in some cases. I stopped taking them to heart long ago. So, all subjective.
But I am very quiet, and shy on top of it, in the sense I don't approach people 1st, even other women, least for casual conversation. If it's business related, no problem. I also live in a small rural town in West TN. Most of the guys who aren't afraid to approach or be blunt they're interested are not within my taste. Sloppy, gold teeth, grills, sagging pants, too much jewelry, weed smokers, heavy drinkers, had babies with other women already. schmucks. And some who look like bums, if they weren't. But these types of guys are rampant here. it's not hard to turn and find one that fits one, if not all, of that criteria.
So no shock I didn't want any of that, and probably never will, even for a hook-up. I may get called "too picky." But I think my dislikes about the guys who have approached are reasonable.
If you find fault in everyone...then no...you aren't being reasonable.
When you come into public and complain about lack of options but refuse to change your circumstance...it's not really someone else's opinion.
Who's complaining? I am just commenting, as the poster I quoted was. But I never asked for advice. if you want to give it, feel free. It's public. But I already have plans and things to work on, and try and change my situation. So I never refused to do anything. I am working in a step-by-step process. I am just not going to date men I am not attracted to, which seems to be your advice. if it is, then yeah. That will go unheard.
You're either attracted to someone, of not. I have liked guys, and they didn't like me, or didn't ask me out in any case. So I assume they weren't interest. But I don't hate them, or get mad. For whatever reason, I wasn't their cup of tea. Normal, just like the guys who have asked me out weren't my cup of tea. It goes both ways. People reject and get rejected.
Last edited by HappyRain; 06-21-2015 at 02:04 AM..
If you find fault in everyone...then no...you aren't being reasonable.
If the description given by VanillaChocolate is accurate, then her reaction to her "real life" environment is eminently reasonable. We keep spouting the expression "don't settle". Well, in her case, surely there is ample cause to harken to this.
Online dating is the preferred alternative when our options in "real life" are inadequate or unappealing. As VanillaChocolate's example (and that of numerous other women in this thread) shows, sometimes the lack of options has less to do with one's own standing amongst other singles, than with said singles just not being suitable. This is especially the case in impoverished, hidebound places, where most locals have little to offer. The supposition is that online dating offers a batch-search for those few representatives amongst the locals who are worth dating. Unfortunately this supposition is not always true.
Connection with another is connection... could happen at a bus stop, nightclub, or Bar Mitzvah............
Or because something you saw in somebody's online profile resonated with you and you wrote them a message telling them so. As happened between my husband and myself.
I preferred online dating because I knew more about them than some random I might meet.
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I look at online dating as blind dates pretty much. At least when you meet someone organically you can feel them out with conversation. I think you can gauge chemistry a lot better.
Translation she want to know if she is attracted to him and not some ugly guy who looks good in pictures or took 600 selfies and used the 4 most flattering ones for his profile.
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