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These are great ideas but I have the same objection as Detroit does. "No problem" is too strong a statement. That to me is just as much a fantasy as the "happily ever after fantasy" is. Sure, I can live without the woman I love, but there would be some emotional pain with it. To say there is no problem, to me, is over-rationalizing love.
I say these kinds of things all the time! One time I said something along these lines and my hubby called me a cold hearted b-itch! Yeah, I'm one of those people who wishes I was single, but doesn't want to get everybody's dander up by actually being single.
In my twenties, the idea of a guy being so in love with me that he couldn't live without me was very appealing. As I got older, I realized that being so emotionally dependent on one person was not a healthy way to live. One man can't be everything to me. I enjoy the company of other good friends. And I want the same self sufficiency for the man I love. I love when he takes off for week to go racing with his friends. I make bowls of buttered popcorn, sit on the sofa with my dogs and watch chick flicks. I can order Peking duck and not share any of it. I do miss him while he is gone, but it feels good to not worry or fall apart too. When he is home again, we appreciate each other all the more.
I think this is spot on, although I agree with Jefetio about the no problem behind I can live without you. I could live without my husband and support myself but I wouldn't like it. I would definitely have a problem with it but I COULD if I had to.
For those who don't understand "You're not everything I need", read it again. It doesn't say "You're not the only spouse/SO I need". It just means that I need more than my hubby to make my life full. I enjoy our son and his activities, my job, my friends, my hobbies, etc. I need other things to make my life complete.
Okay, hmmm....It would seem that if you already go into a relationship/marriage thinking like this, then what's keeping you from looking at the other available prospects out there? I can live without you, no problem--but I would not want to. Yes, we don't know how long we have eachother so prepare eachother for that loss if it should happen. On the other hand, the question should be, would I be happy to live with you for the next 50 years? absolutely... My love for you will definitely change--of course it changes...but does it change for the better? When you have children, your love definitely is tested, and changes but it makes it stronger, thus changes. You're not everything I need--hmmm...okay, my spouse returned to school to finish a degree which was something he felt he needed that he was lacking. It was no reflection on me that he needed that, it was not something I could give him...yet, was I the person he needed to encourage him to do it, was I the person who told him on the weekend to go study, even though we had not seen him once that week?- absolutely. I won't always hold you close--if you won't then are you giving him/her permission to seek someone else out to hold him close? You and I aren't one --wow, you are already turning on each other???? Good luck with that one when you have children...the kiddos will have fun pitting you against each other and sit back and enjoy the show.
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