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Tell me again how exactly would you describe a man's "predicament", when a woman engaged in casual sex faces all these threats to her peace of mind, health and security. Where's the empathy for what a woman has to deal with? And she's giving the man free sex and he has the nerve to kick up dust about wearing protection? We certainly live in an age of spoiled, petulant little ***ssies. I don't have time for any of it!
Nice try. Men face all the various health risks that women do when entering into hook-up situations. As regards pregnancy... with the possible exception of street prostitutes, nearly all women know at least enough about a guy to be able to find him if and when a pregnancy should occur. It isn't the guys fault if she can't make peace with a termination. And she should know better than to be surprised if he is angry if she decides to keep it and nail him for child support. I didn't say men shouldn't or do not wear condoms. They do. I just offered that a lot of women's attitudes regarding condoms sucks. Luckily such women are balanced out by other kinds.
Tell me again how exactly would you describe a man's "predicament", when a woman engaged in casual sex faces all these threats to her peace of mind, health and security. Where's the empathy for what a woman has to deal with? And she's giving the man free sex and he has the nerve to kick up dust about wearing protection? We certainly live in an age of spoiled, petulant little ***ssies. I don't have time for any of it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
+1. A man's predickament of having to wear a condom, vs. a woman's predicament of potential consequences that will effect her long after he has wiped off, zipped up and left town. Yeah, not much room for sympathy there.
On one occasion, an unwanted pregnancy between two FWB has resulted in the woman having the desire to keep the baby. Its not up to the "father" and he is on the hook for supporting that child. Many women say that they are ok with abortion as a fall back option. However, when the woman actually is faced with the reality of having an abortion, they often have a change of heart. (no I don't blame them)
These were people who considered themselves friends first, sex partners second. So there is all sort of complexities involved here.
They are/were friends of mine... however I did not hesitate to say they were flat out "stupid". Both of them.
Without the condom, a man has to rely on the disciplined and honest use of birth control on the part of the woman. The man's only real option of taking control of their reproduction involves the condom (STDs aside). Of course surgery is also an option but many of us were young men in college... and that seemed a bit risky.
I insisted on my use of a condom and my partners on pill.. Ok... there was one close FWB that refused the pill.... <guilty> but it was consensual choice... condoms were a requirement.
It would be nice if there was a birth control "pill" for men. It wouldn't be for me... but it would be nice that men had some sort of other option that offers a say so over their reproduction... outside of surgery.
Now, I'm not saying the plight of a woman is lesser nor greater than a man's in this situation. I'm just saying that there are two sides to this situation.
Anyone who has no plans on immediately getting pregnant, should have an IUD, period... no reason not to. No side effects, especially compared to birth control pills, and much higher success rate
I don't think time's going to cut it. I think you actually need to address the issues behind your behavior, or negative obsessing's going to continue. You have real things to address, and they're a lot bigger than a questionable guy peacing out on you when you required a condom.
You're talking about this experience potentially triggering a depressive episode, and really, if you suffer from known depression, you have a responsibility to avoid situations that are triggers, not choose to jump straight into them. If seeking casual sex with random people you have no actual relationship of any kind with and all the baggage that goes with that (including the reality that it quite often means that you're meeting up with partners who, true, have literally no interest in you whatsoever other than as the willing custodian of a useable orifice or three, and will not prioritize treating you respectfully or considerately) is the sort of thing that depresses you, by all means, STEER CLEAR OF IT.
Know thyself.
Sigh...
You speak the truth. I don't know what else to say.
Let's not make the assumption that all men involved in casual sexual relationships with women will abandon the woman if a pregnancy occurs. I considered all my past partners friends... I don't do that to friends. Which is why I equate condom use to being a "good responsible friend".
Anyone who has no plans on immediately getting pregnant, should have an IUD, period... no reason not to. No side effects, especially compared to birth control pills, and much higher success rate
Of course there are side effects. Copper IUDs don't have hormonal side effects (mood swings, weight gain), but they can still cause painful periods and cramping. My friend had hers removed after her husband kept complaining about being repeatedly stabbed in the tip of his penis during intercourse. They can puncture the uterus as well.
Anyone who has no plans on immediately getting pregnant, should have an IUD, period... no reason not to. No side effects, especially compared to birth control pills, and much higher success rate
Depends on the woman. I have friends who've had no problems, but I have other friends who've had heavy periods, weight gain, even uterine wall perforation. I had one who had an ectopic pregnancy and that was quite traumatic. Some even complain that the hormones have an effect on their mood. The plain copper ones (I forget what they're called) don't seem to be quite reliable.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Of course there are side effects. Copper IUDs don't have hormonal side effects (mood swings, weight gain), but they can still cause painful periods and cramping. My friend had hers removed after her husband kept complaining about being repeatedly stabbed in the tip of his penis during intercourse. They can puncture the uterus as well.
Dude is such a show off (also could be a great seedy pick up line)
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