Not walking a woman to her car after a date. (dating, women)
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So a girl I work with was just telling me how she's was out with a guy the other night (not sure how many times she's been out with him, but this wasn't the first time they went out), they had a great time but when the night was over he kissed her good night, but didn't offer to walk her to her car (it was pretty late at night , so it's not like this happened in broad daylight), she actually had to ask him to walk her to the car because it was a couple of blocks away and she didn't feel safe walking alone. He said of course and walked her, but I was a bit appalled at this, she doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Forget chivalry and manners, I think its more of a safety issue for me, I mean I do the online dating thing and even when its clearly not a match the guy always walks me to my car and sometimes even asks me to text him when I get home safe. I asked her if he ever walked her to her car before and she said he did when they first met, so its not like the guy doesn't know any better. She said he told her he's not used to walking women to their cars and stuff like that, but he's in his thirties it's not like he's new to dating, so it just doesn't make sense.
For me personally that would be a deal breaker, but maybe I'm just overreacting, however I wasn't the only one she told this story to, and most people (even men) seemed to agree with me.
Well, if there's a safety issue involved (sketchy neighborhood, car too far away to walk alone), then, yeah, it could be an issue. Otherwise, I don't think I'd even notice whether a guy offered to walk me to the car or not. I can get to my own car. Unless it's not a good neighborhood. It's the same as watching your date if you drop her off at her place, to make sure she got inside safely. That I do appreciate. Because you never know--stuff happens.
Well, if there's a safety issue involved (sketchy neighborhood, car too far away to walk alone), then, yeah, it could be an issue. Otherwise, I don't think I'd even notice whether a guy offered to walk me to the car or not. I can get to my own car. Unless it's not a good neighborhood. It's the same as watching your date if you drop her off at her place, to make sure she got inside safely. That I do appreciate. Because you never know--stuff happens.
Well that's how I feel, because no matter how safe an area is, things happen in good neighborhoods too. The only way I think a guy can get away with it is maybe if its on a really busy street and there's lots of people out, but even so if a guy is really into you....I think he'd walk you to your car.
So a girl I work with was just telling me how she's was out with a guy the other night (not sure how many times she's been out with him, but this wasn't the first time they went out), they had a great time but when the night was over he kissed her good night, but didn't offer to walk her to her car (it was pretty late at night , so it's not like this happened in broad daylight), she actually had to ask him to walk her to the car because it was a couple of blocks away and she didn't feel safe walking alone. He said of course and walked her, but I was a bit appalled at this, she doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Forget chivalry and manners, I think its more of a safety issue for me, I mean I do the online dating thing and even when its clearly not a match the guy always walks me to my car and sometimes even asks me to text him when I get home safe. I asked her if he ever walked her to her car before and she said he did when they first met, so its not like the guy doesn't know any better. She said he told her he's not used to walking women to their cars and stuff like that, but he's in his thirties it's not like he's new to dating, so it just doesn't make sense.
For me personally that would be a deal breaker, but maybe I'm just overreacting, however I wasn't the only one she told this story to, and most people (even men) seemed to agree with me.
It's nice, but I don't really care one way or another.
I lived by myself for a LOOOOONG time as a single female adult living in a variety of areas, and am pretty accustomed to walking to my car alone and seeing after my own safety and using my own common sense.
When I had my first date with the guy who became my husband, I picked the venue, which was a coffee shop that was three blocks from my apartment, in a very populous, busy shopping, dining, and entertainment district in my city. I walked there alone to meet him, and walking the three blocks back home was my plan at the conclusion of the date, which was around 11:30 p.m.. As it happened, it started to rain/snow/wintry mix partway through, and he offered to drive me the three blocks back to my apartment to avoid walking in the damp and cold. It wasn't necessary, but it was sweet and considerate. But I'd have been completely safe walking the three blocks back home, and the area was brightly lit, full of foot traffic, regularly patrolled, always is. I'd have been home in minutes. Hell, when I lived there, I used to get up at 5 a.m. and run in the park alone. Walking home three blocks solo in the evening? Pretty small potatoes.
I always want to walk a woman to her car. Not because I think she can't handle her own, but it's the gentlemanly thing to do. I still open car doors for women. I think it's still sweet and I hope they would too.
I think it's a courtesy issue and yes I'd be put off. As far as safety, that depends on where you parked. As a woman I don't feel I'm a walking rape waiting to happen or that I need to be escorted everywhere outside my car and apartment--there are towns in America that have one murder every ten years. Anyway it's like someone dropping you off at night and speeding away without seeing that you made it inside. What if you forgot your house keys or lived in an area with frequent break-ins? Even when dropping female friends off at their cars, I wait til the ignition turns over before I drive off.
Anyway, it's a small symbol of how thoughtful, protective, and aware the man will be as a future mate.
It's nice, but I don't really care one way or another.
I lived by myself for a LOOOOONG time as a single female adult living in a variety of areas, and am pretty accustomed to walking to my car alone and seeing after my own safety and using my own common sense.
When I had my first date with the guy who became my husband, I picked the venue, which was a coffee shop that was three blocks from my apartment, in a very populous, busy shopping, dining, and entertainment district in my city. I walked there alone to meet him, and walking the three blocks back home was my plan at the conclusion of the date, which was around 11:30 p.m.. As it happened, it started to rain/snow/wintry mix partway through, and he offered to drive me the three blocks back to my apartment to avoid walking in the damp and cold. It wasn't necessary, but it was sweet and considerate. But I'd have been completely safe walking the three blocks back home, and the area was brightly lit, full of foot traffic, regularly patrolled, always is. I'd have been home in minutes. Hell, when I lived there, I used to get up at 5 a.m. and run in the park alone. Walking home three blocks solo in the evening? Pretty small potatoes.
I totally understand what you're saying, I'm in the same situation I live in an urban area, and I don't need a man to walk me anywhere....however a guy who's into you will walk you to your car, your house, wherever it is you're going after the date is over. And as you said, your husband drove you home after your first date, you can use the weather as an excuse, but I have a feeling even if it was beautiful out he would've escorted you back to your apartment.
Anyway, it's a small symbol of how thoughtful, protective, and aware the man will be as a future mate.
I agree. I also wouldn't have thought my husband was some kind of A-hole had he, at the conclusion of our first date, NOT offered to walk or drive me the three blocks home, though. I just thought it was extra nice that he did.
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