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Old 06-26-2015, 08:19 AM
 
16 posts, read 13,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
The same way you slept with him the day after you met.
But we weren't friends. I never called him my friend and he never called me his friend. We started dating directly after that.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,337,436 times
Reputation: 30258
He seems transparent, but not forthcoming....I don't think you have anything to worry about, OP.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:26 AM
 
3,218 posts, read 2,809,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fuenteazul View Post
Thank you. Yes I already told him to not talk to her anymore and he said he won't, but in the end, who knows. Sometimes I feel like you cannot trust anyone but yourself. I once had a boyfriend who was the sweetest and nicest guy on earth and later I found out he had an emotional affair with a coworker. I don't think he'd be leaving me for her, I mean she lives thousands of kilometers away, and I think if he wanted to break up with me for her, he already would have. As I mentioned, he cheated on his ex with me, but broke up days after that to be with me. It's been over three months since he met that backpacker girl, I guess he would have broken up with me by now, lol, instead of buying an apartment with me. Still, I'm still wondering if really nothing happened or if he saw her as a little adventure.

And by the way, I don't get anyway why people leave people for other people. I've never found myself in a relationship like this. Either I'm very happy with the person I'm with and never feel the need to be with someone else (and don't get myself into situations where I could fall for someone else, which probably would never happen anyway), OR I'm not happy in my relationship so I break up instead of just staying in the mediocre relationship until I meet someone better.
Well you have to make the decision to trust him or not, but if you choose not to trust him you really shouldn't be with him because you'll just be torturing yourself over this.

Maybe he left his ex for you because he was unhappy with her, I agree that people rarely leave a person their in a relationship with for someone else unless they are unhappy with the relationship. However sometimes it takes meeting someone else to realize how unhappy you really are.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,728 posts, read 2,699,043 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fuenteazul View Post
Sorry, I expressed myself wrong. He did cheat on her with me, but he didn't date us at the same time. We kissed that one night and we hooked up the next night, which was definitely cheating. But then I didn't see him for a few days, that's when he broke up with his ex-girlfriend.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He could do same to you with someone new what you 2 did to her ex-girlfriend. People who don't cheat, break up first and then find someone to have sex with. Your relationship born by cheating, there is always a possibility your past actions get paid back. If you did not see nothing wrong in it why it would be wrong if he cheats you? Why you keep yourself someone who would deserve better when you cheated his ex with him?

I don't see the problem as you havent not been faithfull but instead being a cheater companion to his ex. I think this is also why you are worried. You have seen him cheating in action -with you.

Last edited by soUlwounD; 06-26-2015 at 08:42 AM..
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:35 AM
 
16,711 posts, read 19,407,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD View Post
I think this is also why you are worried. You have seen him cheating in action -with you.
+100
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,563,461 times
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You know the behavior he is capable of, and this is why you are worried. There are a million signs that he is being deceptive, here. If you can't trust him (and, FWIW, you likely have good reason not to), what is the point of staying in the relationship? If there's no trust, there's no relationship.

FWIW, my husband's best friend just filed for divorce from his wife. When they met, she was "unhappily" married, and their affair was the catalyst for ending that marriage. 13 years and two kids later, she confessed to a whole slew of affairs, emotional and physical, many taking place during frequent business travel (and "business travel"), and locally. The only reason it came out was because the most recent guy wanted her to end things with her husband, and threatened to show up at her house and make a scene himself, so she came clean.

Is it surprising? No. Her personality is "always looking for the next entertaining thing," and her behavior's a pattern. Food for thought.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:50 AM
 
16 posts, read 13,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD View Post
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He could do same to you with someone new what you 2 did to her ex-girlfriend. People who don't cheat, break up first and then find someone to have sex with. Your relationship born by cheating, there is always a possibility your past actions get paid back. If you did not see nothing wrong in it why it would be wrong if he cheats you? Why you keep yourself someone who would deserve better when you cheated his ex with him?


I don't agree. I have cheated on an ex-boyfriend a few years ago. I know it was wrong and I regret it, I'm not even trying to find excuses for it, but that doesn't mean I would cheat again. I love my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him. If I ever had the need to cheat that would probably mean I'm not happy anymore, so I'd break up. Once a cheater can be a cheater again, but you generalize everyone, it doesn't work that way.


Quote:
I think this is also why you are worried. You have seen him cheating in action -with you.
With this I agree. I'm definitely also more alert and worried because I know he has cheated on someone, with me.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,563,461 times
Reputation: 53073
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuenteazul View Post
I don't agree. I have cheated on an ex-boyfriend a few years ago. I know it was wrong and I regret it, I'm not even trying to find excuses for it, but that doesn't mean I would cheat again. I love my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him. If I ever had the need to cheat that would probably mean I'm not happy anymore, so I'd break up. Once a cheater can be a cheater again, but you generalize everyone, it doesn't work that way.
It's not "generalizing everyone," if you are actually witnessing deceptive behavior, however.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,337,436 times
Reputation: 30258
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuenteazul View Post
I don't agree. I have cheated on an ex-boyfriend a few years ago. I know it was wrong and I regret it, I'm not even trying to find excuses for it, but that doesn't mean I would cheat again. I love my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him. If I ever had the need to cheat that would probably mean I'm not happy anymore, so I'd break up. Once a cheater can be a cheater again, but you generalize everyone, it doesn't work that way.




With this I agree. I'm definitely also more alert and worried because I know he has cheated on someone, with me.
This explains your attitude towards infidelity
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Old 06-26-2015, 09:03 AM
 
16 posts, read 13,298 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
This explains your attitude towards infidelity

My attitude? My attitude towards infidelity is that it's terrible. Only because I cheated when I was in college (and I regret it) doesn't mean I don't mind about infidelity.
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