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It's really tough when your/ your partner's parents are racist. I'm older than you, OP, by a generation or so, but still deal with similar issues. I'm American Indian and my parents, especially my father are very discriminatory against other races, to varying degrees and for various reasons. I don't have a lot in common with most NA/AI men that I know and I'm simply not attracted to most of them anyway. I'd like to maintain the peace in my family, but I'm going to date whoever I choose. My ex-husband was not Indian and they begrudgingly got over that. We were married for 13 years.
Last edited by planetelle; 06-30-2015 at 02:39 PM..
Just as Weezer said in an earlier post than yours, its more jealousy than anything else. It usually isnt anything close to racism. Jealousy is what it is.
And I wouldn't necessarily call it jealousy as much as it is disappointment in the behavior and mindset of certain black men.
Yep, it pretty much suxs. You have to stand "tall" and "strong" regardless how others act, you should be thick skinned and take the higher road, if you get into a war of words with the father, you lowering yourself to his standards and are no differant, be the stronger man and tell your girl, how much you dig her and how far your willing to go to win her over, it's going to have to be her choice, if she chooses you over her family, your still going to be married to her family like it or not, your choice, how far are you willing to go? how far is she? and how much can the both of you endure? we really can't help you too much, because it comes down to you and your girl and her family which isn't going to change and deep down inside she will not leave. I really wish I can help you both, but, I do know one thing. Her father is a jackass. Good Luck young man to you and your girl. We Soldier on..
This girl is in an impossible situation. Standing up to her family at such a young age will hurt her, she could lose a place to stay, lose the option to go to college and of course its very tough for a young girl to break off the relationship with her dad. The father is probably a moron, but that does not make it easy for her. Also something for the OP to consider is the fact that he is 18 and she is 17. The Op needs to research the law of his state to make sure he is not in legal jeopardy from this angry father. Even if this works it may be a lifetime of conflict, not easy being married to someone whos family hates you. It wont be easy on her and the likely result is total estrangement from her family. In the end the only way to challenge your family culture is often to simply disown them. This all may be worth it if this is a very serious happy relationship but everyone should go into it with eyes wide open. Its also not the end of the world, your family could become hers, she could find college funding elsewhere etc. Still everything should be considered.
Hi guys. I'll just go straight to it. So I've fallen in love with a beautiful girl and we have been together for three months. Every single moment with her has been magical. But I realized that she was keeping me away from her family and didn't want me to come over to her house etc. It made me a little bit suspicious, but I soon understood why she did this. A couple of weeks ago, someone told her father about us and he flipped out.
He is apparently a racist and has told her to never meet me again (I'm African American). A couple of days ago, he spotted us walking together and he came out of his car and ranted against me (calling me the n-word). He tries to stop her from meeting me, calling me, texting me etc. She always finds a way to do so, but this is getting a bit tiresome for both of us. We have been hiding around for weeks, trying to keep things away from her family. I don't want her to be frozen out of her family because of me. She loves her father and her family very much and she actually cried yesterday because of the pressure she was feeling. It made me feel like ****.
I told her today that we need to stop seeing each other for her sake. I just feel so angry and depressed right now. What a ****ed up society we live in. I just had to write this somewhere!
Been in your shoes, and walked away. I'm white, he was Mexican, and since family is very important to me, I knew I couldn't handle of lifetime of hearing "you white people". Sad, since I really cared about him. But his mother's hatred, and his inability to stand up for me, told me all I needed to know.
and from the out of left field responses................
I have no idea what you mean by that.
You said that "black women can sometimes be especially critical when they see a black guy with a non-black woman" and you concluded that it's usually due to jealousy. Jealousy to me implies that the disapproving woman wants the man for herself, and that's not always the case. She can disapprove of the behavior without wanting those men for herself.
You said that "black women can sometimes be especially critical when they see a black guy with a non-black woman" and you concluded that it's usually due to jealousy. Jealousy to me implies that the disapproving woman wants the man for herself, and that's not always the case. She can disapprove of the behavior without wanting those men for herself.
I may be wrong but it often seems that black women and white men are most likely to really oppose interracial couples. You also rarely see a white man and a black women together, and this reinforces this belief. I wonder why this seems to be true. Obviously Ive never done a study on it so I could be wrong. I happen to know a few white women who are married to black men and they have received grief from some of thier female inlaws.
I may be wrong but it often seems that black women and white men are most likely to really oppose interracial couples. You also rarely see a white man and a black women together, and this reinforces this belief. I wonder why this seems to be true. Obviously Ive never done a study on it so I could be wrong. I happen to know a few white women who are married to black men and they have received grief from some of thier female inlaws.
Actually white men and black woman are likely to survive than black man and white women. White guys are likely go after Latina and Asians.
Hi guys. I'll just go straight to it. So I've fallen in love with a beautiful girl and we have been together for three months. Every single moment with her has been magical. But I realized that she was keeping me away from her family and didn't want me to come over to her house etc. It made me a little bit suspicious, but I soon understood why she did this. A couple of weeks ago, someone told her father about us and he flipped out.
He is apparently a racist and has told her to never meet me again (I'm African American). A couple of days ago, he spotted us walking together and he came out of his car and ranted against me (calling me the n-word). He tries to stop her from meeting me, calling me, texting me etc. She always finds a way to do so, but this is getting a bit tiresome for both of us. We have been hiding around for weeks, trying to keep things away from her family. I don't want her to be frozen out of her family because of me. She loves her father and her family very much and she actually cried yesterday because of the pressure she was feeling. It made me feel like ****.
I told her today that we need to stop seeing each other for her sake. I just feel so angry and depressed right now. What a ****ed up society we live in. I just had to write this somewhere!
Welcome to the world of the black male.
The shat many of us have to deal with on a daily basis.
You did right to let her go.
Plenty of other women out there.
Don't be discouraged.
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