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The only men who cannot do this are the ones who have no respect for women as human beings, and they assume all men are this way.
I would never assume that my male friends have never had the thought cross their minds, but when I've known them for 10 years, and they never said anything inappropriate to me, or tried anything, and we've had lots of good times in social settings... Especially as over the years these men find wonderful women that they are happy with, and yet they're still part of the group and we're all still friends.
I mean maybe if your life is really boring and you don't have any fun social activities, so anyone you talk to is someone you're using for something particular, or you have only a few friends to begin with... I don't know. But not one of these men I call friends has ever, ever acted like friendship with me was a waste of time if they weren't going to get laid.
Males and females can be friends.
It's when there is ONE particular opposite-gender friend who is particularly close or constantly on their mind, in constant contact, etc...then it's time to evaluate if that friendship is really just a friendship, or is trying to morph into something else.
On what planet? I go to see bands with my friends, the beer tasting I was at Sunday was mostly women (with amazing taste, they brought most of the Hill Farmstead stuff), food, hiking, kayaking, biking... I can't think of anything where women don't have as much in common with dudes as other dudes, except maybe sports watching.
I do it too, but I can admit, it's usually with women to where it's in our best interest to be strictly friends. An example would be coworkers. I eat lunch and dinner with a coworker pretty regularly who's female. We're same level management, so dating wouldn't be an issue, but I typically don't dabble in work romance. Most of my other female friends are my buddies girlfriends or a couple of FWBs that come and go when they please. There's nothing really there that holds a lot of weight as being genuine.
I wouldn't mind having female friends, but where I meet many women is the online venue. The friendship part is offered if we don't see it working out romantically, but it's not like that's going to go anywhere either. If we're both actively still online the chances of us hanging out as friends is rather slim.
For my female coworker, we have a lot of commonalities and we discuss dating with each other. The blind leading the blind per se. We're also in the same boat of having most of our friends married, so we're kinda on the same page in life right now, she's just a parent and I'm not.
Women should have primarily female friends and men should have primarily male friends.
Speak for yourself. Out here in reality there is no such "should".
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
I find it impossible to be friends with an attractive woman.
That is your failing - no one elses - so it is not a valid spring board to dictate what others "should" do - when clearly your failing just dictates what YOU should do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
Time is finite, and I'd rather my male-female time be with a woman I'm having sex with.
That is where we differ because I do not view the opposite sex as merely sexual means - but as people in and of themselves. Try it sometimes.
I want my male-ANYONE time to be quality time. And I do not dictate how much time I spend with women by how much sex they are offering me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
This is why I do not keep female friends. I'm not there to take care of issues for women. I'm there to be the boyfriend and the lover.
Which is where we differ. Because I am there for whatever my friends require of me - regardless of their sex or sexuality or both - in the same way they are there for me. I do not differentiate the quality of my friendships - or how I treat other people - by how much potential for sex they do or do not offer me.
I judge the potential for a friendship by the person themselves - not the contents of their underwear - and I would be just as disgusted at myself refusing a friendship with a woman because she is a woman - as I would for seeking it with a guy just because he is a guy.
Try judging people as people some time in your life - rather than as compatible or incompatible walking genitals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
In my experience women that have a lot of guy friends are usually just using them and unintentionally or intentionally leading the guy on.
Thankfully your experience does not appear to match any I have had - or any that anyone I know has had.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
Meanwhile the guy wants more than friendship usually.
As with the user above - speak for yourself. You do not appear to be speaking for me - or anyone I know or have met.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I strongly, strongly believe that males and females can be just friends. I do this all the time.
Do not confuse these people with real world facts. They have their "men and women can not be friends" theory and they have not once seemingly stopped to see if the idea in their head maps onto reality in any way. And the fact that innumerable people - yourself and myself included - are in friendships that simply make a lie out of their theories. Alas such people do not appear to realize the difference between navel gazing and real world evaluation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
The only men who cannot do this are the ones who have no respect for women as human beings, and they assume all men are this way.
My suspicion exactly. They know what they THEMSELVES are like - but rather than admit this as a fault they simply project it and assume everyone else is the same to justify it to themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
monumentus is delusional...she wants to believe her male friends aren't just trying to sex her
Thanks for throwing out the insults rather than arguments. But name calling is always easier than debate for those with no actual arguments to make.
At least try and get your facts somewhat straight before you start name calling however - I am neither delusional - nor female. So nothing you have said is in any way accurate.
If the only people of opposite sex who seek your friendship are gay or horny - then so be it. But do not project that on to others. It says everything about you and your friendships and quality as a friend - and nothing about mine - and that lack of quality might make one of us delusional - but it happens not to be me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
woopsy er...now I feel just plain silly
And getting my sex wrong is only one of the reasons for this alas - even if it is the only one you have thus far acknowledged.
Speak for yourself. Out here in reality there is no such "should".
That is your failing - no one elses - so it is not a valid spring board to dictate what others "should" do - when clearly your failing just dictates what YOU should do.
That is where we differ because I do not view the opposite sex as merely sexual means - but as people in and of themselves. Try it sometimes.
I want my male-ANYONE time to be quality time. And I do not dictate how much time I spend with women by how much sex they are offering me.
Which is where we differ. Because I am there for whatever my friends require of me - regardless of their sex or sexuality or both - in the same way they are there for me. I do not differentiate the quality of my friendships - or how I treat other people - by how much potential for sex they do or do not offer me.
I judge the potential for a friendship by the person themselves - not the contents of their underwear - and I would be just as disgusted at myself refusing a friendship with a woman because she is a woman - as I would for seeking it with a guy just because he is a guy.
Try judging people as people some time in your life - rather than as compatible or incompatible walking genitals.
Thankfully your experience does not appear to match any I have had - or any that anyone I know has had.
As with the user above - speak for yourself. You do not appear to be speaking for me - or anyone I know or have met.
Do not confuse these people with real world facts. They have their "men and women can not be friends" theory and they have not once seemingly stopped to see if the idea in their head maps onto reality in any way. And the fact that innumerable people - yourself and myself included - are in friendships that simply make a lie out of their theories. Alas such people do not appear to realize the difference between navel gazing and real world evaluation.
My suspicion exactly. They know what they THEMSELVES are like - but rather than admit this as a fault they simply project it and assume everyone else is the same to justify it to themselves.
Thanks for throwing out the insults rather than arguments. But name calling is always easier than debate for those with no actual arguments to make.
At least try and get your facts somewhat straight before you start name calling however - I am neither delusional - nor female. So nothing you have said is in any way accurate.
If the only people of opposite sex who seek your friendship are gay or horny - then so be it. But do not project that on to others. It says everything about you and your friendships and quality as a friend - and nothing about mine - and that lack of quality might make one of us delusional - but it happens not to be me.
And getting my sex wrong is only one of the reasons for this alas - even if it is the only one you have thus far acknowledged.
alrighty then...I stand by my statement...if a woman has straight male friends, sex is NEVER EVER EVER off the table...at least not for the guy...it might never happen...hell I am friends with my s2bx wifes girlfriends, and sex with them will never happen because they are married...that's the only reason, at least for the attractive few...not that I would pursue sex with them should they ever become single...but sex would not be off the table...
if a straight man insists he would NEVER EVER have sex with an attractive female because they are friends, he has good intentions but he is delusional...it wouldn't take much for his "I don't want to ruin our friendship" mantra to be blown out of the water...even if she is married or involved, and EVEN if he is friends with her husband or boyfriend...(as big a pig as I am, this would stop me...I would never trash a friendship with one of the guys over a woman, would never bang a friends wife or girlfriend, never have...I don't put myself in those situations)
I don't care how much of a politically correct front men try to project, deep down they all think the same...now go ahead and call me a Neanderthal or misogynist or whatever other label makes you feel better...can you honestly say you have a gorgeous sexy female friend that you would NEVER EVER have sex with regardless of the situation????
liar!!!
alrighty then...I stand by my statement...if a woman has straight male friends, sex is NEVER EVER EVER off the table...at least not for the guy...
Standing by a statement however does not make a false statement true. You might be speaking for yourself or people you know here - which is perfectly ok - but as a general statement I am seeing no basis for it except your assertion of it.
Alas I think there are a lot of people who do see members of the opposite sex as walking genitalia - rather than people in and of themselves - and they just assume that all guys/girls are like them. When in reality they are speaking about themselves only. You certainly have not said anything that appears to apply to me or any of the guys I know.
Merely calling people delusional - as appears to be your approach rather than supporting what you say in any way - does not magically make it so.
So really when you tell us "all men think the same" you are just projecting and asserting and nothing more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
now go ahead and call me a Neanderthal or misogynist or whatever other label makes you feel better...can you honestly say you have a gorgeous sexy female friend that you would NEVER EVER have sex with regardless of the situation???? liar!!!
Unlike you with the words like "liar" and "delusional" you are throwing around - I do not require name calling or labelling to back up my positions. So I will have to disappoint you and fail to name call you anything despite your expectations.
Clearly however there is no point answering the question you have pretended to ask above - given you are not just name calling now but doing so in advance of an answer. If your case is made up of name calling - and baseless assertion - then I do not need to name call you or label you anything. I merely have to point out the fact your case is made up of name calling - and baseless assertion. Job done.
Standing by a statement however does not make a false statement true. You might be speaking for yourself or people you know here - which is perfectly ok - but as a general statement I am seeing no basis for it except your assertion of it.
Alas I think there are a lot of people who do see members of the opposite sex as walking genitalia - rather than people in and of themselves - and they just assume that all guys/girls are like them. When in reality they are speaking about themselves only. You certainly have not said anything that appears to apply to me or any of the guys I know.
Merely calling people delusional - as appears to be your approach rather than supporting what you say in any way - does not magically make it so.
So really when you tell us "all men think the same" you are just projecting and asserting and nothing more.
Unlike you with the words like "liar" and "delusional" you are throwing around - I do not require name calling or labelling to back up my positions. So I will have to disappoint you and fail to name call you anything despite your expectations.
Clearly however there is no point answering the question you have pretended to ask above - given you are not just name calling now but doing so in advance of an answer. If your case is made up of name calling - and baseless assertion - then I do not need to name call you or label you anything. I merely have to point out the fact your case is made up of name calling - and baseless assertion. Job done.
Ive never seen so many words...say so little...
lighten up...there was a after "liar"...this is supposed to be fun and no one expects you to change your opinions...
I am sorry to say no matter what test group you use...if they are straight men you will NEVER prove my comments wrong...its just the way it is...
So she's not allowed to have male friends? That isn't fair
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