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Listen, I don't want to get married. It's my choice. But I am not going to sit back and pretend that it's some kind of "strike" or that I need to justify it by making up stats like 50% of marriages end in divorce and men lose all their money when it happens... because, you know, I have enough confidence in my personal choice that I don't feel the need to make up stuff to justify it and try to scare others into thinking there is some great conspiracy out to get people. Methinks some people protest too much.
Of course. It's harder to get a divorce than just simply breaking up. If a guy is with a girl, don't you think you think he would want to make it harder for her to leave? So he doesn't have to bend over backwards, pay for dinners and drinks, hold car doors, play by the call/text rule, chase, be perfect for her, and try to impress all over again if he became single again hahahahaha!
Of the divorced couples I know, it was pretty rare that one spouse was at fault or caused the divorce through their own choices or actions. It usually came after years of fighting, anger, resentment, with both parties contributing to the strife. When the Mr. and I separated (spoiler alert: we reconciled), neither one of us was really at fault; just a whole bunch of issues were spilling over.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 06-30-2015 at 02:19 PM..
I never said that either. My point is that the person who files is not necessarily the person who caused the divorce. I've never seen any data about who causes most of the divorces. I would also venture to say that most divorces are caused by both people. You are the one who claimed that women caused most of the divorces. I never claimed to know.
I hear what you are saying. All I'm saying is in order for a divorce to happen, it has to be filed first. Why would the person that files for divorce file for it and not want it? They would most likely attempt to work it out instead. The person that "causes" the divorce would most likely be the one that "files" for divorce since it seems like they would want out badly. Divorce is not cheap.
And another thought is that undeniably, women are in the driver seat when it comes to dating/choosing mates/marrying. It's much harder for men in this aspect of life so most likely, a man won't be the filer. Or as I want to call it, the "initiator".
Don't get me wrong though, I do hear what you're saying
Of course. It's harder to get a divorce than just simply breaking up. If a guy is with a girl, don't you think you think he would want to make it harder for her to leave? So he doesn't have to bend over backwards, pay for dinners and drinks, hold car doors, play by the call/text rule, chase, be perfect for her, and try to impress all over again if he became single again hahahahaha!
LOL... or maybe it's all about watching the waistline. I've had three dates this week and all this eating out is making me work out twice as hard (just to keep up).
LOL... or maybe it's all about watching the waistline. I've had three dates this week and all this eating out is making me work out twice as hard (just to keep up).
Hahaha! That's why I ride my bike to dates (sometimes).
I hear what you are saying. All I'm saying is in order for a divorce to happen, it has to be filed first. Why would the person that files for divorce file for it and not want it? They would most likely attempt to work it out instead. The person that "causes" the divorce would most likely be the one that "files" for divorce since it seems like they would want out badly. Divorce is not cheap.
And another thought is that undeniably, women are in the driver seat when it comes to dating/choosing mates/marrying. It's much harder for men in this aspect of life so most likely, a man won't be the filer. Or as I want to call it, the "initiator".
If I had waited for my ex-husband to file for divorce after we separated in 2004, I'd still be married. The man was a procrastinator of the highest order. He was also irresponsible and passive. I could have taken him for a ride, because he barely skimmed the property settlement agreement when I put it in front of him to sign, but I'm not that kind of person. He was also lazy and a bit of a coward, in that he didn't even show up for court the day of the divorce.
And divorce is as cheap as two people make it. I spent $1,200 on the attorney for the property settlement agreement, $70 on a website to get the paperwork to file for the divorce with the court, and $50 to the court for filing fees.
That's it. Why? Because we were both adults about it.
If I had waited for my ex-husband to file for divorce after we separated in 2004, I'd still be married. The man was a procrastinator of the highest order. He was also irresponsible and passive. I could have taken him for a ride, because he barely skimmed the property settlement agreement when I put it in front of him to sign, but I'm not that kind of person. He was also lazy and a bit of a coward, in that he didn't even show up for court the day of the divorce.
And divorce is as cheap as two people make it. I spent $1,200 on the attorney for the property settlement agreement, $70 on a website to get the paperwork to file for the divorce with the court, and $50 to the court for filing fees.
That's it. Why? Because we were both adults about it.
Ok true..... But I'm talking about in the majority of cases.
None of my business, but maybe he was dragging his feet about filing because he didn't want the divorce? The way you speak about him, it sounds like to me you wanted the divorce more than him..... Hey again, none of my business, so don't comment on that. I'm probably wrong.
I hear what you are saying. All I'm saying is in order for a divorce to happen, it has to be filed first. Why would the person that files for divorce file for it and not want it? They would most likely attempt to work it out instead. The person that "causes" the divorce would most likely be the one that "files" for divorce since it seems like they would want out badly. Divorce is not cheap.
And another thought is that undeniably, women are in the driver seat when it comes to dating/choosing mates/marrying. It's much harder for men in this aspect of life so most likely, a man won't be the filer. Or as I want to call it, the "initiator".
Don't get me wrong though, I do hear what you're saying
You are still assuming a lot. Which honestly doesn't surprise me. Why are women in the driver seat? And the person who files doesn't have anything to do with who initiates. It's simply the person that files the paperwork. I make all my husband's medical appointments for him - that doesn't mean that I'm the one that wants them or that I'm the one seeing the doctor. I'm simply the one that takes care of things like making appointments, joining the pool, paying the bills, etc. A lot of families are like that. Or - in the case of my neighbor - her husband kept threatening her with divorce until she finally filed herself. He was sexting with a bunch of women and kept telling her that he would stop - but she found out that he just changed their names in his phone to men's names instead. Did she cause the divorce? They both made mistakes - but she didn't cause the divorce. She simply filed.
You are assuming an awful lot about some paperwork.
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