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There are many pieces on why it was and is not 50%, and it is dropping. It was a faulty analysis, and the myth of the 50% rate won't die. The faulty analysis was predicated by looking at how many people get married, then how many get divorced, and then simple division: yet this is not a valid method sociologically, it gives a flawed result.
Census data is far better for this stuff, and some of cohort following long term studies.
Ok. Thank you for that. So... the divorce rate is only 35%. And men and women in America have wonderful relationships. Male/Female equality metrics in sex and dating lead in international rankings. Right? The truth is, Timberline, its awful out there. You should know that. It's practically a happiness lottery: most people are not winners, but enough do win to keep everyone playing. It doesn't have to be that way. That hypothetical 6' 200lb guy you mentioned... the tubby as hell one is the 50% divorce rate, the fit one is the 35% divorce rate. Put them both in a well made business suit and you will be hard pressed to know which is which. But one of them is headed for a heart attack.
It beats me why divorce rates have anything to do with dominant/submissive relationships and frolics of consenting adults.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm
Assuming the writer did some research before publishing... where is your research? What do you use to counter several concurring sources for a 50% divorce rate? It's not enough just to say that it isn't true you have to prove it isn't true. The people saying it is true can point to marriage recordings in State databases and divorce filings in those same databases. They can cite Census data on households split by divorce. etc. Why does that upset you?
No. Timberline outlines it perfectly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
The likelihood of getting divorced, if you get married in the U.S., is about 35%.
It is not, and never was, 50%. There are many articles on the myth of the 50% divorce rate. It was bad analysis that came up with that rate.
Divorce rates have been dropping since the early 80s. And, if you're one of the smart ones that gets and education and waits to your late 20s or later to get married? You're divorce rate plummets from that 35%.
Belgium, Portugal, and many many others have higher overall divorce rates than the U.S.
There are many pieces on why it was and is not 50%, and it is dropping. It was a faulty analysis, and the myth of the 50% rate won't die. The faulty analysis was predicated by looking at how many people get married, then how many get divorced, and then simple division: yet this is not a valid method sociologically, it gives a flawed result.
Census data is far better for this stuff, and some of cohort following long term studies.
35 to 40% seems to be most accurate estimate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm
It is actually higher than 50%. I have seen estimates as high as 65%. But few argue with 50% (except you). And it is the highest in the world. If I am wrong, then tell me which country does have the highest divorce rate. The U.S.; Canada; the UK, in that order lead the world in divorces. At the moment divorce is on the decline but only because the economy is so bad. I know people that are functionally divorced but still living together.
Nice anecdote. However, until the decree is issued they are still married.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm
Ok. Thank you for that. So... the divorce rate is only 35%. And men and women in America have wonderful relationships. Male/Female equality metrics in sex and dating lead in international rankings. Right? The truth is, Timberline, its awful out there. You should know that. It's practically a happiness lottery: most people are not winners, but enough do win to keep everyone playing. It doesn't have to be that way. That hypothetical 6' 200lb guy you mentioned... the tubby as hell one is the 50% divorce rate, the fit one is the 35% divorce rate. Put them both in a well made business suit and you will be hard pressed to know which is which. But one of them is headed for a heart attack.
Not sure what country or region you live in. But among my friends and family that are married, all are happily so. Going to a wedding Saturday for a woman I dated for several years! I'm 43, and I know one person that I'm friends with get divorced in my entire life (I've met other people that are divorced, but I didn't know them when they were married). Most people that get married, stay married, and the ones that I'm close to enough (mostly people that were friends pre marriage) and we have a great rapport, wouldn't trade their situation for the world.
I'm not sure what can be done to make that even better. I really don't think it is awful out there. I could have married a great woman (who is now married), but backed out, because I didn't think it was the right one. That's ok. Especially with OLD now, it's so easy to just flip it on one week, find a few like minded people, meet up and find some connections. Sometimes it will lead to relationships, sometimes just some sex, other times just great conversations; and of course, sometimes there will be no chemistry. It's still a lot of fun.
Of course, I don't view people or life as being winners or losers. Happiness and success isn't a zero sum game in my world.
I've heard enough negativity about 50 shades to not want to read or watch it. But I do think a lot of people would be in for a big surprise (maybe a good one) if they find out what bdsm is really about. I'm learning. I don't know how much of it I'm actually into or not. I'm having my first real session tonight, though. I don't imagine that the movie addressed anything about fire or electricity, however...
But for me, I'm not submissive as a lifestyle, and I truly don't think I'd have it in me. I've never met anyone who so completely had it together (and I was attracted to) that I'd trust them to run my life and make my decisions. I'm something of a control freak in that regard. In fact it's precisely that (the burden of control and responsibility in my life) which draws me to the other side of it for the occasional release...it's not even sex. It's therapy. Most people don't understand that. At ALL.
But my knowledge is all theory and no practice as of this moment. We'll see how it goes tonight. Thing is, with partners of this nature, one actually gets to check references and lay down boundaries before stuff happens, which I have, and that's pretty cool in my opinion compared to just blundering about in vanilla-land not knowing if your new partner or date or whatever is really who and what you think, or will respect you in certain important respects in your interactions.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
But for me, I'm not submissive as a lifestyle, and I truly don't think I'd have it in me. I've never met anyone who so completely had it together (and I was attracted to) that I'd trust them to run my life and make my decisions. I'm something of a control freak in that regard. In fact it's precisely that (the burden of control and responsibility in my life) which draws me to the other side of it for the occasional release...it's not even sex. It's therapy. Most people don't understand that. At ALL.
This is very true for most I know into it. Especially true for the rope work people.
In order to avoid the already "steered off" course, we may head off to a PM or open a different topic on another sub-forum to discuss this, if you're willing to do so. I invite all others who discussed marriage and divorce rates to do the same to avoid steering this thread off-tracks in the future.
Last edited by nald; 07-02-2015 at 02:46 PM..
Reason: EDIT: sent the post as a PM to the member it was pointed at.
This is very true for most I know into it. Especially true for the rope work people.
Another bit of trivia not known to some, out of all the crazy implements and tricks and toys employed in this lifestyle, I hear that rope is the most dangerous, easily. Many people are injured or killed in rope accidents. A big somethin' somethin' to be said for not playing around with inexperienced rope tops in private, unmonitored settings.
I should probably be careful what I talk about here. I'm absorbing so much information, and I'm so interested in it, I sometimes have to remind myself that it's not something people just go about openly discussing. Like I said, at the moment it's primarily an intellectual fascination. I'm always totally down to learn all about the stuff humans get up to and why. Yanno?
I'm noticing one thing, though. The people I've met have been seriously, seriously closeted. Like way more than gay people who aren't out, they lead double lives. Many of them appear to be very mundane individuals to the outside world; no one would ever guess if they didn't know.
For some, it's the element of danger that drives them; the thrill-seeking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Another bit of trivia not known to some, out of all the crazy implements and tricks and toys employed in this lifestyle, I hear that rope is the most dangerous, easily. Many people are injured or killed in rope accidents. A big somethin' somethin' to be said for not playing around with inexperienced rope tops in private, unmonitored settings.
For some, it's the element of danger that drives them; the thrill-seeking.
I bet. But I like my risks about on par with roller coasters. Give me the illusion of mortal peril...but full inspection on all load bearing beams and contact points and equipment, and hope the people in charge of this thing are EXPERTS.
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