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I think alot of it has to do with psychological shortcuts. A man who is taken, or better yet a man who is seeing several women, is a proven hot commodity. It doesnt really matter WHY he is a hot commodity or HOW he is able to attract all these women, it just matters that all the other women want him. There was a thread floating around last couple of days asking if women posters here would date a sexual offender. Pretty much all said, no.
There was no need to really get into the details of WHY someone is a sexual offender (17 yo boy dating a 15yo girl and charged by the school or a lifelong pedophile), it just mattered that he is one. Ive always given this advice to guys who have a hard dating, when you go out, bring your sister, her friends or your female friends with you. The more the better. See how differently all other women in your surroundings treat you and how much better your chances automatically become, simply because you are surrounded by other women.
There is a lot more i could tell you on this subject, but ill save it for another occasion. Bottom line is this, women have limited amount of years to reproduce, and during their precious reproductive years, they will use every shortcut and every possible tool at their disposal, that will allow them to choose the appropriate man to mate with, as quickly as possible. Its that simple.
In my 20s, I was really into a guy with a live-in girlfriend (now wife). A few years later, I fell for a married man. I don't think that their being unavailable was part of the appeal at all. I was just dumb enough (and probably, insecure enough) to fall for them regardless.
Some women are very competitive, and the ultimate prize is poaching an unavailable man. Even more so if the wife or girlfriend is attractive, which boosts her already overinflated ego if she is able to steal him from the wife or girlfriend. Pretty sad and pathetic.
Emotionally healthy women don't do this. Period. Any woman going after a guy who doesn't seem interested in her, or who is already in a relationship has issues.
I had this discussion with a good male friend on Friday. He's from California and just moved here maybe 8-9 months ago. Always lived in California as well. He said he's had a hard time adjusting to the women here, because they all want to move so fast. Where he's from it's normal to be 30 and single. Here, the 30 year old women have a divorce, a couple of kids, or a mixture of both.
We both laughed that it would actually be in our favor to get married to a woman, even if it's only for a day, so we would have more dating "street cred". We both agreed that we do kinda have the stigma of being long-term singles does hurt us a little. We see ourselves as relatively successful men who were able to navigate through life and not create a child when we weren't ready or continuously marry the wrong women. We just took a step back and got ourselves mentally and financially healthy before we pursued a serious relationship.
I love women, but being attracted to the unavailable just blows my mind, especially when you're taking yourself off the dating market too.
Maybe he was a guy she fell for who just happened to get married? Being married doesn't mean you suddenly become undesirable/unattractive.
Eh, but she's been hanging on to him cancelling their plans to hang out together too. I think she bought in to what things could be, and not what things truly are.
Lol only desperate women go for the unavailable guys......
And believe me, there's a lot of desperate women out there.
On a daily basis I get guys approaching, giving me their numbers wherever I am.....
The married guys always floor me-
where's the decency in that?
I don't go for anyone who's attached, whether they're married or not.
I also won't waste my time on single fathers, or emotionally unavailable men......
Men do this too
My ex did that when I was dating someone else.
He end with another girl to be with me. He brought me a hundred dollar gift card to Starbucks and jumba juice and charm bracelet.
I think that's been my issue with some women I've dated over the years. I've been available and clearly interested, but they had some unresolved esteem issues. For instance, I dated a woman briefly recently, who was seeing a guy for 6 months and he just wouldn't ever commit to her. She went along with it, because it was at a pace that she could somewhat control and she found herself way more interested in him than he was into her.
I have even told women that I can't compete with those kind of guys if that's just who and what you're attracted to. I'm a no nonsense kind of dater. If you are ending up with emotionally unavailable men, I'm not that guy. I think knowing what I want scares these types of women, because it's somewhat engrained in them to go after men who don't know what they want. It allows them to play more of the Mama role in the relationship. I don't want that kind of woman in my life.
It seems at 30 too, I've noticed that these women don't change or change very very slowly. They've been dating like this for 10+ years, so that's where their attraction lies.
Your mind recognized that those women were unavailable to you, yet you stayed and hoped. What sounds right on paper isn't always what people do.
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