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And the real wack-jobs will help orchestrate problems on the home front, in order to get the wife to kick him out. At least that's what I've learned from Lifetime movies.
Omg yes there is always cheating on lifetime shows.lol
Or someone killing the husband.
Here's an example of being honest and up front and getting your answer. I met up with a woman on Monday after work for some ice cream. Good time and the conversation flowed well. As we talked after the date we asked questions about what we're both looking for and what our dealbreakers were. For me, I stated that I would like to be a priority in someone's life. I'm not saying I want an instant relationship or marriage tomorrow, but I'm not much into dating games or options. She fired back with I think we're after 2 different things.
I've personally dated a Physician's Assistant who worked 7 on and 7 off and we saw each other 2-3 days a week after the very first date. I dated a store manager of a Wal-Mart, with her living 45 minutes away and working 45-55 hour weeks and we saw each other 2-3 days a week after the first date.
I mentioned that I think she may have pegged me wrong, but we'll likely finish up this conversation tomorrow. If anything, I've been chatting with this woman since Sunday evening and we turned around a meeting in less than 24 hours. Like I said, I've always found myself to go out with women who knew how to answer the hard questions.
I even mentioned that her schedule didn't bother me and I wasn't asking for a ton of days to see each other. I just have a more laid back schedule to where I have evenings off and she works 2 jobs, so on good days her work ends at 7PM. I actually think where I went wrong was that I didn't kiss her after the first meetup, like I usually do, because she seemed really into me. The problem was that I'm a stickler for pretty teeth. They can be crooked even, but I would like for them to be white. Her teeth had this smokers coat on them and a few seemed to be in the rotting process. Her profile stated she didn't smoke and the subject came up as a dealbreaker and we both agreed a smoker was one. Her profile picture wasn't of her smiling and showing teeth, just smiling. I found myself really engaged in our conversations; however, I just couldn't get over how her teeth looked. It was the only reason why I didn't kiss her, because everything else was there. I had even decided to keep seeing her and approach the dental situation at a later date. Teeth can be fixed and replaced, but dull personality is there forever. This woman was and is super bubbly and fun too.
Plus I think I'm just a bit spoiled with every relationship I've had up to this point. They all let it be known early on that they were interested and opened up their schedule immediately, so that's what I've always been used too. I don't think it's wrong to wait either, but I got the vibe that she felt I wasn't willing to compromise on her schedule. I didn't care at all, but I do want to be a priority in a woman's life. If I'm going to invest in them, I would like to be the focal point, within reason. It doesn't have to be after the first date either and I clarify that, but I'm looking to build something with someone, not just date continuously like I've been doing for a couple of years now.
Women can be very competitive with one another. Its possible that taking away someone else's man is a boost to their ego, while completely available man is too easy, and not as big a boost. It could also be that these women like to see other women suffer the loss of their man, or are envious of women who have a man they want, so they try to take him away from the other woman.
Ive always given this advice to guys who have a hard dating, when you go out, bring your sister, her friends or your female friends with you. The more the better. See how differently all other women in your surroundings treat you and how much better your chances automatically become, simply because you are surrounded by other women.
No kidding! Before my mom remarried, we used to go to church and I was always getting looks at how my mom could pull a younger guy-that was what was coming from those who didn't know I was standing next to mom in the pews--and I'd get moms trying to pawn their daughters off on me and a few unattached women coming my way. Yikes.
Women can be very competitive with one another. Its possible that taking away someone else's man is a boost to their ego, while completely available man is too easy, and not as big a boost. It could also be that these women like to see other women suffer the loss of their man, or are envious of women who have a man they want, so they try to take him away from the other woman.
It may be in my best interest to make more female friends. It's a hard one for me to do, since most women I meet they either want relationship or bust. Sure, they'll want friendship, but it's hanging out whenever and you spend more time hearing "I have plans or I'm busy" than actually getting to hang out with them. I've been down that road before. However, I'm going to have to try something new, since what I'm doing right now isn't working.
At this point in my life, even the women want what they want and it's for dang sure not me.
This is just my theory, but having seeing this my whole life, I think it has to do with how men are attached present themselves. In most cases they are confident, they are at ease, and they are pretty much themselves. They already have someone, so they are not putting any un needed pressure on themselves if the person they are talking to rejects them. Basically, they are doing what many single guys should be doing. I went out with two married guys about a month and a half ago, they took their wedding rings off, and man they were the life of the party in a very crowded club. They were funny, they listened, they asked questions, they had these women eating out of their hands, while the other guys in the club who I assume were single were just being frustrated most of the night.
Now of course what I said across the board isn't gospel, but based off of things I have seen, it makes sense to me. Many times single guys just put too much pressure on themselves, don't read the tea leaves right, don't ask the right questions, are too pushy, and it all just comes across as sloppy and un attractive, where as married guys don't do that in most cases.
This is just my theory, but having seeing this my whole life, I think it has to do with how men are attached present themselves. In most cases they are confident, they are at ease, and they are pretty much themselves. They already have someone, so they are not putting any un needed pressure on themselves if the person they are talking to rejects them. Basically, they are doing what many single guys should be doing. I went out with two married guys about a month and a half ago, they took their wedding rings off, and man they were the life of the party in a very crowded club. They were funny, they listened, they asked questions, they had these women eating out of their hands, while the other guys in the club who I assume were single were just being frustrated most of the night.
Now of course what I said across the board isn't gospel, but based off of things I have seen, it makes sense to me. Many times single guys just put too much pressure on themselves, don't read the tea leaves right, don't ask the right questions, are too pushy, and it all just comes across as sloppy and un attractive, where as married guys don't do that in most cases.
I was the same way when I was attached. Whether it was a long-term relationship or a rather short-term one. I'm so much more relaxed when I'm in a relationship. There's still life pressure, but it's a total different kind of pressure. When I'm single it's so hard for me to be relaxed, because I tend to only be relaxed when it's a woman I don't like. I'm really not interested in talking to her much or even care to get to know her. It's hard for me to have the same mindset when I'm interested in someone and playing it totally cool. There's times where I played it so cool in the past that the women felt I wasn't interested.
I rather them like the real me, then the me that's trying to be someone that I only am when I'm in a relationship. It's really easy to be the life of the party when you're married. There's no pressure, because you're going home to someone and you already know that. You can flirt and not analyze every little thing, because quite honestly you're not trying to impress anyone.
I've been there before in my relationships when I was younger and was more destined to flirt with danger. I still find myself interested in talking to married women as friendly banter, because there's no pressure for me and there's no pressure from them. I have found that the people that are happily married tend to be really bubbly and uplifting. I just gravitate to those women and those men. It's nice conversation to have for sure.
I think there were a lot of good points and reasons here:
- Women who do it for a challenge
- Women who want to compete with other women
- Women with self esteem issues
- Women just looking fora NSA good time
- Women who just happen to fall for someone they can't have
But I think one thing has been overlooked. And maybe this is slightly off topic. I think going after unavailable men can be a reaction by women who are often inundated with "smothering" men. And maybe there is a lesson in here for men on how to attract a woman.
A lot of men come across as desperate and clingy when they are single and looking. They let their own glassy-eyed desire for the women they are dating cloud reality. And it can scare a women off. You see it in these threads where some guys say they can't understand why when there was such "great chemistry" and such on date #1 that the woman doesn't want to date them again. They assume she's a flake because things were "so great!" What they don't notice they are projecting their feelings onto someone and she never felt that way for them.
Prime example. I know a woman who is cute, friendly, and (was) single... she was looking for someone and literally every man she has a meet and greet date with from online dating ended up telling her "she's the one" and they felt perfect chemistry with her. EVERY single man. She said to me that it seems like the men she met were just willing to date anyone who gave them time. They hardly knew her, yet they thought she was, "the one." How can that be she asked? I didn't have an answer either. In the end, she couldn't tell if she was truly special to them or just any woman who gave them some attention would do.
The guy she finally fell for and is now dating? He was a man who moved slowly, had a demanding job (so he didn't flood her with texts all day... he didn't have the time to), didn't ask to see her every night (he couldn't), and he didn't tell her "she was the one" on date #1 or act like a love sick puppy... he told her only that he liked her and would like to get to know her more and see where things go. He was totally different from what she called the "Cling-ons". And he planned time with her around his schedule and when he is with her, is totally with her--but he keeps his own life as well and interests as well. He gives her space. You could say, he just wasn't as "readily available" as the more despite looking guys.
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