I got myself in a real bind. Not sure what to do.

[rosebyanothername]

Originally Posted by The_Networking_Guy

I will keep this short and simple as possible. So me and this chick has a lot of history with each other. Over the course of our dating I found out her and my family don't exactly get along. This has gotten so bad to the point where its becoming quiet miserable. She gets depressed super easily and it doesn't take a lot for it to happen. During all this I have told her phrases such as "I will love you no matter what" and "My feelings will never change for you"

Now I am eating those words. I believe I have learned a very important life lesson from this but I need a way out. My family is totally against me being with her. She is also seeing other guys which I said I have no problem with so I am not going back on my word on that. I have met another girl and we have great chemistry. We just get along great and we like each other very much. I believe I want to be with her.

The problem is if I cut off this girl I am with cold turkey it will end in a disaster. I am not worried about me; its her I am worried about. I don't want to throw her into some deep dark depression. So my plan originally is to slowly just become friends with her. That doesn't work because she will keep asking me if I love her no matter what. Then she said she wanted to end up marrying me someday.

Please, I need advice. I don't know what to do. I feel like a trunk in deep mud.

I feel you are really making a big deal of this. You stated she is seeing other guys. For her to be doing that it sounds like she is not as serious about you as you think she is. You are not responsible for how she feels. Her feelings are her feelings. Your feelings are your feelings....and your feelings did change for her. Own it, accept it, let the girl know and pull your "trunk" out of that deep mud and move on and let her do the same without that game playing thing you are thinking about doing.

[Mikala43]

She said she is seeing other guys and doesn't feel the same about you do, as you do about her. It's amazing you are still around. Tell her you want to be friends. You don't owe her a bunch of explanations, just tell her what she told you "it's complicated."

[CapsChick]

No dude. Just rip the Band-Aid off. You owe her a straightforward breakup. Waiting for your relationship to naturally run its course and die off is going to cause unnecessary pain for both of you-- not to mention, it's a darn cruel thing to do to her.

I really think so many guys work out a way in their minds to justify avoiding a breakup conversation, convincing themselves it's actually better for the woman when really, it's just cowardice on their own part.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by CapsChick

No dude. Just rip the Band-Aid off. You owe her a straightforward breakup. Waiting for your relationship to naturally run its course and die off is going to cause unnecessary pain for both of you-- not to mention, it's a darn cruel thing to do to her.

I really think so many guys work out a way in their minds to justify avoiding a breakup conversation, convincing themselves it's actually better for the woman when really, it's just cowardice on their own part.

I agree.

Just tell her you have not been honest with her or yourself, and that you are very unhappy.

That you made promises to her prematurely, and now you really regret them. You know it is causing her pain, but you would rather not see each other anymore so you can stop the pain from getting worse.

Then walk away and don't look back.

And from now on, LISTEN to your gut and be honest from the get-go.