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I think it is perfectly fine for a married man to have women as friends (vice versa too).
However..
Are the things he does and the way he acts expected or welcomed if he were a woman friend? Right off the bat, I wouldn't be going around tickling my guy friends (I am a guy) and as such wouldn't be going around tickling my woman friends either.
I have some male friends but we are keeping formal distance between us. Too much playfull attitude is able to lead into troubles. Keep it formal or don't do it.
How is this an emotional affair? We literally just became friends. We don't don't out at night after work on dates or anything.
I don't see how I'm filling a void? I'm just being myself, just like I am with everyone else.
I've never been married, so forgive me for being ignorant.
Because you're playing the part of the wife in her absence.
Since you don't know, here is a tutorial:
The texting you at night from 6-10? Not OK. He should be talking to her.
The tickling and peek-a-boo? Not OK. It's flirting.
Telling you FIRST about the house?? Not OK. He's placing you TOO HIGH on his priority list.
Bad-mouthing and "not mentioning" his wife? Not OK. Sounds like he's grooming you for an affair.
He needs to set some boundaries, but that's not as fun as tickling the young girl at work "for a nice break in the day." So now it's YOUR job to set those boundaries. It's LONG overdue.
It feels like innocent fun because y'all aren't [mod cut]. But it's not innocent. He's giving YOU all his best communication, so there's none left for his wife.
Time to grow up and put a stop to it.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-05-2015 at 03:40 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
He's setting you up. Put some distance between the two of you. The tickling, nope.
You're being friendly and he's trying take advantage. As for the offer to help with the house, retract it, because I wouldn't spend any time truly alone with him.
Tell you what: once a day, bring up his wife. Ask how she's doing. Say things like: "Oh tell her I said hi," etc. Mention how excited you are to meet her when she moves here. Take 'her' side when he brings up stuff like the collared shirt. Compliment her. Say how awesome she is for being alone back wherever she is with the kids, and how tough that must be on her. Stuff like that. Watch his reaction. Do this for about a month. It'll tell you a lot.
You are extremely naïve, he wants to cheat on his wife with you. It's up to you whether or not you are ok with it. He only told you he was married to begin with because other people where you work most likely already knew he was. If you had met him out somewhere he probably would have said he was single.
I hate these married creepers they just muddy up the waters for legit single guys like me.
Tell you what: once a day, bring up his wife. Ask how she's doing. Say things like: "Oh tell her I said hi," etc. Mention how excited you are to meet her when she moves here. Take 'her' side when he brings up stuff like the collared shirt. Compliment her. Say how awesome she is for being alone back wherever she is with the kids, and how tough that must be on her. Stuff like that. Watch his reaction. Do this for about a month. It'll tell you a lot.
This is a perfect way to start setting those boundaries, OP.
You are extremely naïve, he wants to cheat on his wife with you. It's up to you whether or not you are ok with it.
Naive, or completely cognizant of what's going on and finding it flattering or a rush. Either way, bad scene.
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