Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 09-18-2019, 08:16 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,539,757 times
Reputation: 7613

Advertisements

Yuck....because it’s kinda clear that it’s not a healthy relationship....but I would say the same thing if it was the other way around too...40 yrs. is too big of an age difference to be realistic & when one of them is UNDER 21 & can’t even drink yet? Um....no. Just no....

 
Old 09-18-2019, 08:20 AM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,334,536 times
Reputation: 12295
Age is just a number. A really important one that usually says a lot about the person and always says something significant about the person owning it.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 08:22 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I'm a 62 yr. old woman.


On one hand, YAY! I can probably have sex every day! Maybe multiple times a day! I have indeed won the lottery!


On the other hand, well...I don't want another baby to take care of.
Some 25-yr-old guys are remarkably mature. Some already have successful careers going. OTOH, there are 40-something guys who are still into Star Trek, or the skateboard scene, enjoying a very extended adolescence. I usually brush off younger guys, but a couple have become friends, because they're very bright, mature and interesting.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,552,431 times
Reputation: 39259
Yep. I have known some pretty incredible young people and some pretty immature old people. I don't surmise that they necessarily make good matches together, but people are all over the map at any age, I think.

Whenever I hear about really big age gaps, especially where one of the people is in their 20's, and also especially when the age gap is more like a 2-generation gap, rather than a 1-generation gap...I actually wish I could find and talk to more such couples because I wonder if the younger person had influential older relatives in their lives.

I mean, I strongly believe that's why I feel just fine with a partner who is 20 years my senior, and I don't really care to partner in any meaningful way with people closer to my own age, let alone younger. The best caregivers I had as a kid were old people, I didn't have many kid-friends/peers or siblings, and my parents were distracted and distant and erratic in how they treated me. I really do think that these dynamics can influence what feels safe and good and comfortable to us as adults. And there was a news story years ago that hit one of our forums (not this one) about a young fella marrying a 70 year old and it said right there in the article that he was raised by his Grandma. I was like, yup--there it is.

Though I've noticed that the old people I find attractive are the ones who often look a bit younger...they are not physically falling apart, they don't look ancient, their hygiene is good. My boyfriend is usually guessed at least 10 years younger than his actual age by people who meet him. At 60, he's still got a full head of dark hair with just grey coming in at the temples. I know this one fella at the club who falls into the "older" camp and is a good example of "but oh god not him though" because he's got nasty denture breath, and he hasn't aged well. What is, perhaps kinda cool, is that my boyfriend had acne when he was young, so his skin is naturally kind of oily rather than dry, and while he's never been very fat, he's always had a bit of extra padding--the sort of "Dad bod" shape--and I think these things have benefited him as he's aged. His skin isn't wrinkling or sagging much at all, just little lines mostly around his eyes, which tend to give him those really warm smiling eyes, you know...

I was remarking the other day, you look at Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden on a stage, and Sanders looks so OLD. People have expressed concerns about his age, but he's only 2 years older than Biden. I also think that Biden probably has more professional hair and makeup work before he appears on camera... I'm not trying to take this to a political place, just talking about how people age differently, those two are easy to compare side-by-side.

I've met older women that I still consider to be beautiful, too. And some...not so much. But I don't think my evaluation of this is a lot different than how I look at people of any age, though. And how people talk and act has a very large impact on how I perceive them, too.

I think that perhaps one reason I like older people, is that past about your 30's, a lot of us really care less and less about doing whatever is socially expected. If you don't want kids in your 20's or 30's, you feel pressure from society...if you are raising kids in these age ranges, you feel pressure to "be a good parent" in this or that way...if you want to marry a much older person, people doubt your ability to make that choice, and wonder about how it will affect your life prospects, or they think you're chasing money. But like, you hit 40 and you can make weird or eccentric choices and nobody cares. Some folks seem to get a lot more REAL past about that point, and I love that.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:06 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,978,903 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Some 25-yr-old guys are remarkably mature. Some already have successful careers going. OTOH, there are 40-something guys who are still into Star Trek, or the skateboard scene, enjoying a very extended adolescence. I usually brush off younger guys, but a couple have become friends, because they're very bright, mature and interesting.

I have friends, both sexes, of various ages, and I appreciate all the various perspectives, but being honest here...I don't think I can relate a whole lot to a 20-something yr. old. And I'm JUST speaking for myself. The gap is too wide for me.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:09 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,539,757 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
Age is just a number. A really important one that usually says a lot about the person and always says something significant about the person owning it.
Very important....20 is a number that says too young to drink.....so too young to marry a 60 year old IMO.....its ewww every time I just think about it....
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,246 posts, read 12,889,108 times
Reputation: 54028
How would you react to a 60-year old woman marrying a 20 something year old man?

I'd say, "Vaya con Dios!" and move on.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:35 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Very important....20 is a number that says too young to drink.....so too young to marry a 60 year old IMO.....its ewww every time I just think about it....
The OP is about a mid-20's guy with a 60-ish woman, though.
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:40 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,539,757 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
The OP is about a mid-20's guy with a 60-ish woman, though.
Oh....I missed that....I didn’t see the something after the 20....but is it 21 or 29? I still say ewww, tho...it’s too big of a difference to be a realistic relationship......
 
Old 09-18-2019, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Rural Wisconsin
19,651 posts, read 9,192,474 times
Reputation: 38049
This might be off topic, but although I agree with the others about the YUCK factor when it comes to a physical romantic relationship between a senior and a junior (sorry), I think it is very nice that some young men can completely ignore the age difference when it comes to friendship.

I am 66 and have been a part-time wine associate (salesperson/stockperson) for going on four years, and there have always been three or four 20-something guys who work with me, and it truly surprised me that they have been so open to being friends with me. We talk about all sorts of things, and I like them very much, and they seem to like me, too (and many have said so). Of course, we are talking JUST friends, and maybe that is the appeal of such a work friendship -- to know that we can just talk and be friendly with nothing else in mind -- or maybe it is just that I am some kind of substitute mom or grandmom who makes no demands of any kind on them! (?)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:43 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top