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Did I miss something? I was under the impression that the OP wasn't talking about the lack of sex but rather certain sexual activities that the husband wants to introduce into their lives. I wouldn't equate the reluctance to engage into group sex as a sign of peri-menopausal.
However I do agree... the key is the "why's" of everything.
Did I miss something? I was under the impression that the OP wasn't talking about the lack of sex but rather certain sexual activities that the husband wants to introduce into their lives. I wouldn't equate the reluctance to engage into group sex as a sign of peri-menopausal.
However I do agree... the key is the "why's" of everything.
She has ZERO desire for him whatsoever. She even likes SOME of the new stuff. But she submits to his desires because he manipulates her into thinking that it's her wifely duty or she is being b*tchy if she says no.
She has ZERO desire for him whatsoever. But she submits to his desires because he manipulates her into thinking that it's her wifely duty or she is being b*tchy if she says no.
Yeh I got that... but I don't think its due to menopause.... its because of the conflicts in the relationship and individual problems.
I would say if perimenopause is occurring concurrently with what's likely a lack of interest due to her spouse's actions, it's pretty much happenstance.
Her personal reproductive state isn't what's causing her spouse's behavior - particularly since the OP noted that his behavior started a number of years ago.
Get rid of him! He has no respect for you. It's all about him & it isn't going to get better. Next he will use your unwillingness to do things you don't want to do as an excuse to have affairs. Say Goodbye now & save yourself a lot of anguish, tears, self-deprecating emotions, etc.
Let him go see how many other women put up with his abuse. And that is what this is!
Get rid of him! He has no respect for you. It's all about him & it isn't going to get better. Next he will use your unwillingness to do things you don't want to do as an excuse to have affairs. Say Goodbye now & save yourself a lot of anguish, tears, self-deprecating emotions, etc.
Let him go see how many other women put up with his abuse. And that is what this is!
Funny, he always tells me "It's all about what you want" and puts it on me...lol Says I'm the selfish one for not wanting to do it. It's a no win. I think I have an idea of where everything is headed and it scares me to death.
She has ZERO desire for him whatsoever. She even likes SOME of the new stuff. But she submits to his desires because he manipulates her into thinking that it's her wifely duty or she is being b*tchy if she says no.
I like none of the new stuff, just as an FYI. Never really did though it hasn't been new in 8 years...lol I think it's just to the point where we have grown apart.
If you think facing the future without him is scary, be prepared for facing the future with him to be terrifying! These types of behavior rarely get better, if ever. All the red flags are there for you to see. Blaming you, forcing you to do things you find painful, disgusting, uncomfortable, whatever it is, is wrong of him to do. It's your body, your life. He doesn't have the right to do any of this. You have offered to work through this with him. He refuses. Because he has no interest in compromise or making sure it's right for each of you. He wants his way & knows he would be called out by a therapist. He is abusing you!! Make it stop or get as far away from him as you can.
Time to close the door on this chapter and start a new.
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