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Don't give up too soon(?) OLD is a big world out there. I made my first profiles back in 1999. I have never actively "searched" for men. I just let them decide if I am their type. If they have a decent and informative profile...(and not too wordy), then I decide to respond or not. Oh, and NO xxx-pics.
I met my new husband in OLD in 2009. We married in 2012.
I have had profiles on several different OLD sites also through the years. Some are good. Some are just creepy. The sites.
Having a great sense of humor...and knowing how to use it...goes a long way too
Don't give up too soon(?) OLD is a big world out there. I made my first profiles back in 1999. I have never actively "searched" for men. I just let them decide if I am their type. If they have a decent and informative profile...(and not too wordy), then I decide to respond or not. Oh, and NO xxx-pics.
I met my new husband in OLD in 2009. We married in 2012.
I have had profiles on several different OLD sites also through the years. Some are good. Some are just creepy. The sites.
Having a great sense of humor...and knowing how to use it...goes a long way too
pof is creepy...its a notch above craigslist
a girl I started talking to today is already texting me crotch shots and other naked pics...happened very fast...and I made sure she wasn't a working girl LOL...there ARE escorts on pof...or women looking for generous men...ugh
im so glad I don't have to depend solely on old...
pof is creepy...its a notch above craigslist
a girl I started talking to today is already texting me crotch shots and other naked pics...happened very fast...and I made sure she wasn't a working girl LOL...there ARE escorts on pof...or women looking for generous men...ugh
im so glad I don't have to depend solely on old...
yeah POF is like the walmart of the dating world LOL
P.S. I just met someone last night, we have been messaging back in forth, probably are like 9 messages in talking about likes, dislikes and what not...I want to ask for her number, but im not sure. After I get the number, I usually call them for a bit and then we make plans..is this too much or am I doing something wrong here?
I don't even let it get to 9 messages, usually after a couple of messages back and forth I just voluntarily give the guy my number (given I'm interested in actually meeting him) and tell him to shoot me a text rather than emailing back and forth. But if the guy beats me to it, they usually just offer up their number as to not make me uncomfortable in asking for mine (although it wouldn't if I'm interested), and I usually respond with my number. Some guys will text, some will call...either one is fine with me.
I only had a POF profile up for 1 week. Ewww. I ran screaming for the exit and deleted my profile behind me.
I used OLD when I relocated to a different state and ended up working 6 day, twelve hour day work weeks. Mandatory OT. 72+ hours a week. Every week.
So, I still managed to talk to people online, when I got home from work in the mornings. And I managed to meet some nice men to go on dates with. I met my husband in OLD (not POF), 13 months later.
I have come to find out many of the members on one site in any given local area...have also plastered themselves all over any other available dating sites. Just to cover as much territory as possible. I made a game out of it. Mainly to see who from one OLD site would send the same messages to me on other sites. It is only a matter of time till your local area is saturated with those who even use OLD.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LOTRfan283
You would think right? but they do that for a few replies..and this disappear..I don't know why.
Way too slow. On average I've either been asked to meet up, or ask them to meet up, after 3ish messages. Sometimes 5, sometimes 2, but nothing more than 5-6.
Most people don't want penpals. They want to meet people.
Would you prefer to only text or could they call you? I don't mind texting when I KNOW the person, but calling for me is better since I can hear a voice. This online thing is hard for me, I do WAY better in social situations outside of the online world.
I'd prefer to have a short 15-20 minute phone conversation. Texting with someone you don't already know is so impersonal.
Hate, hate to say this, but yeah, pushing for a meeting in person (in a public place) is the way to go. Put a woman on the spot and don't make it easy for her to ghost ya. Especially if you do appear to have things in common.
Phone numbers...that one varies. I have a personal policy of not giving mine out until I've met someone in person and got a sense of them. I don't want the hassle of changing my number if somebody winds up being a no-go but won't give up, and I can't have a clinger who texts and calls me constantly, I do have a life. I need to have the feeling they will respect any boundaries I put in place.
EDIT: Though there have been men on OLD, including the one I'm seeing now, where we have exchanged hundreds of messages. This one is over 400 messages, most of those before we even met in person. Once the talk goes to sex though, that can happen.
I am having some success with it, but I have taken some good advice over the months here and followed it.
It's time consuming, and I am selective about whom I message OKC. BTW I use the hi, how's your day with a tie in to something cool in their profile. When they are interested they respond.
I am seeking to date within my range age/looks/stage in life so that's why I am having success, because I am not going for anyone outside plus/minus 7 years.
The lady I went out with last night we are a good fit in a lot of categories, but we may not match in a few, that could be deal breaker, but she is pretty awesome, and no she isn't perfect, but neither am I.
I met her on OKC and if I am on Tinder not for hook ups so I just swipe away until we match, and the drill down on their profile because T isn't designed to read profiles so swipe, match, determine fit seems to be best ROI for me but I am new and still learning OLD.
Haven't tried Match yet, if last night doesn't work out I may scale back or take a break because of time and I am having challenges finding women that just want to date everyone wants a relationship which after a recent divorce...........
so then I tried "hey gorgeous" or "hey beautiful"...same tepid response
so today I tried "you look like a crabby beeyotch, who pooped in your Wheaties"...I got responses from everyone I sent similar snarky comments to...and I continued the banter and then turned into mr nice guy, the few who got a laugh out of it exchanged cell or emails and I am meeting one for lunch tomorrow...
Even though it worked for this guy, please don't do the above. Negging and insulting women is a horrible way to get attention. If I got the above message I would report and block.
And don't do the "Hey beautiful" stuff either - that means you're only interested in looks or seeing where a compliment will get you, and the exact same message was probably sent to a hundred other women on the site.
I know OLD is frustrating and I have had no luck with it, but I when I was on it I always responded to thoughtful messages that showed he actually read my profile. Sometimes the conversation just doesn't flow, so move on.
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