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First time around from the get go I was not good enough or rough around the edges or didn't pander to their pathetic nature. Yet, I mowed their lawns, fixed the broken stuff, delivered the eulogy at their father/grandfather's funeral. All of this while holding down a job or two jobs, running a business. I always had a job
Compared to the other son in law who was a plumber, fired from every plumbing outfit in town, pot smoking, lazy useless loser. He was the favorite. Mainly due to being an ass kisser.
The upshot of it all was the day they called me when the pipes froze in their house. Wait, why didn't call your favorite, the unemployed plumber. Nope, I had pipes thawed in 5 minutes and they were in business.
The day I divorced the ex, it was the happiest day of my life. If I would have trusted my instinct and paid attention to the signs around me, this could have all been avoided.
Do you think being involved so much with her awful family caused some of your marital problems? Why would you do all that for them if they weren't respecting you? Did your wife expect it? Unless she was pushing you into it, that seems like a lot of self-inflicted pain.
Are they *******s in general, or do you just not click with them? Is she close with them, or does she only see them when she kind of has to (holidays, etc)?
The description sounds like my mother-in-law, but she hates everyone so I don't take it personally. On the plus side, she doesn't meddle and we both know our place, so we are civil with one another. Works out fine for us because I won't tolerate someone trying to "mother" me. However, that would not fly if it was like that with my father-in-law, because he and my husband are very close.
On the other side of the coin, they were very cautious/suspicious with me at first (and I can't say I blame them), but I got their son's butt in gear, and that was enough to win them over. Although the mother-in-law was miffed for a while that all of the kids came out looking like me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hard Luck
Bad: Cold, distant, aloof. Don't think much of me.
Have you talked to her about it? You are really considering taking the advice about something so serious from a bunch of strangers before going to your wife, sitting her down and talking to her?
Your vows you made to your wife. You promised to love one another for better or worse....(if you exchanged traditional wedding vows)....not "I'll love you and stay with you unless you have family members who don't care for me and treat me right."
She even told you that you are doing "as well as expected". So it sounds like you are the only one complaining. If you have no more love in your heart for your wife than that and can leave her because of actions of her family members, than she is probably so much better off without someone like you in her life.
Have you aked your wife if her family dislikes you, and why? Instead of merely accepting it, is there something you can do to ameliorate the situation?
I have a cordial relationship with my new in-laws, but we'll never be besties. We only see them once every 2-3 months and we did not invite them to our (tiny) wedding. On the other hand, my husband and my parents get along great, and they trest him like family.
By the way, I'm sorry for the loss of your first wife.
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If the SO can keep the family drama out of our relationship then I'd give him a chance. It wouldn't be fair to single him out just because he comes from a dysfunctional family or has that one relative who is a trainwreck.
Do you think being involved so much with her awful family caused some of your marital problems? Why would you do all that for them if they weren't respecting you? Did your wife expect it? Unless she was pushing you into it, that seems like a lot of self-inflicted pain.
You are right. I put up with a lot more than I would ever tolerate. I was in my early 20s when it started. I didn't have the foresight or intestinal fortitude to take a stand.
Five years after the divorce the ex's mom sent me a Facebook friends request. No effing way. I consider them low hanging fruit.
You are right. I put up with a lot more than I would ever tolerate. I was in my early 20s when it started. I didn't have the foresight or intestinal fortitude to take a stand.
Five years after the divorce the ex's mom sent me a Facebook friends request. No effing way. I consider them low hanging fruit.
If it is a matter of their approval due to some hi standard, that I can live with. it's a matter of growing up and maturing.
If the family has psychological or serous medical issues, or are involved in illegal activities ,vaporize, move on with no forwarding address.
IMO
I haven't seen too many people that come from a close family marry someone that is not close to the family and have it work out.
It is not just how often you see the relatives. You have different expectations of what family life is. Some people think it isn't Christmas or Thanksgiving if there are not 30 people there.
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That's ballsy. 
