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I know people think it's because I'm hurting now, but honestly I'm just tired
I'm 42. I've been through the ringer. I really am not "marketable" as they say. I don't even want to try anymore.
I don't want to prepare for someone else. I just want to shut everything off and give up. How do I do that?
There's truth to the bolded. My last few relationships have been good luck chuck like. Someone gets to capitalize right after we end things with each other. One got married and the other is engaged. When you feel that way it's best to improve yourself and just do what you enjoy doing for yourself and for others.
I just ended things with the guy I've been seeing for just over a year because he's a horrible person who has no respect for me.
At this point I'm done with relationships. I really don't want to do it anymore. I'm tired of the effort, the pain, and the heartache. I just don't have it in me to try anymore.
I know there are people on here who say they gave up. How did you go about doing it?
I just don't want to even bother hoping anymore. It's too much of a pain.
I gave up on a friend of 15 years recently, and even though a switch clicked off in my mind where I was able to walk away and tell her I couldn't do it anymore, the pain of not having her as a friend anymore still hurts. You & I both will get over it. For you, it's a lot easier, because to get over one guy you just have to get under another
I know people think it's because I'm hurting now, but honestly I'm just tired
I'm 42. I've been through the ringer. I really am not "marketable" as they say. I don't even want to try anymore. Sheesh. 42 is not old! I'm over 10 years older than you and I consider myself marketable!
I don't want to prepare for someone else. I just want to shut everything off and give up. How do I do that?
Just had to comment above. Think of it this way, if you are healthy, you possibly still have another 40 years to enjoy. Are you really ready to throw in the towel?
I took 2 years off after my divorce. I was (and still am) able to keep busy doing other things, but am now ready to share my time with someone else.
I have found a website (O.T.) which caters to more mature folks .. and yes, some trolls and scammers, but I've had plenty of dates!
I gave up on a friend of 15 years recently, and even though a switch clicked off in my mind where I was able to walk away and tell her I couldn't do it anymore, the pain of not having her as a friend anymore still hurts. You & I both will get over it. For you, it's a lot easier, because to get over one guy you just have to get under another
You are missing the point. I do not want another guy. I'm done.
I'm not marketable because I am over 40 and never going to be the type of person men want.
I like the advice Wmsn has given about getting involved with other things. I'm just worried I will succumb to the pressure of wanting to date again, and go through the heartache again. I don't want that ever again. I'm tired of fooling myself and then being disappointed. It's just not worth it.
I like the advice Wmsn has given about getting involved with other things. I'm just worried I will succumb to the pressure of wanting to date again, and go through the heartache again. I don't want that ever again. I'm tired of fooling myself and then being disappointed. It's just not worth it.
You're looking too far down the road.
Just think day by day. Practice being supremely focused on the activity you're in and nothing else. IF you meet someone, it may be months or years from now when you DO feel ready.
But you are not on a deadline. That's pressure you're putting on yourself, and it's not cool. Let that false thought go and focus on what YOU are interested in.
Just think day by day. Practice being supremely focused on the activity you're in and nothing else. IF you meet someone, it may be months or years from now when you DO feel ready.
But you are not on a deadline. That's pressure you're putting on yourself, and it's not cool. Let that false thought go and focus on what YOU are interested in.
I just ended things with the guy I've been seeing for just over a year because he's a horrible person who has no respect for me.
At this point I'm done with relationships. I really don't want to do it anymore. I'm tired of the effort, the pain, and the heartache. I just don't have it in me to try anymore.
I know there are people on here who say they gave up. How did you go about doing it?
I just don't want to even bother hoping anymore. It's too much of a pain.
Totally, I gave up and stopped caring. Didn't hit on another girl for 2 years.
I spent my time getting my golf game better and just enjoying myself.
Honestly time passed and I didn't even THINK about going on a date.
You involve yourself in other things and people that you care about.
You still have the capacity to care about people, things and causes. You really have to keep that up because it gives life meaning. If you stop caring about ANYthing, you will be a bitter person who repels people.
It just doesn't have to be a romantic involvement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You're looking too far down the road.
Just think day by day. Practice being supremely focused on the activity you're in and nothing else. IF you meet someone, it may be months or years from now when you DO feel ready.
But you are not on a deadline. That's pressure you're putting on yourself, and it's not cool. Let that false thought go and focus on what YOU are interested in.
I agree with everybody so far, particularly these two posts. Don't let it suck the life out of you. I think you're cool too.
If you have no desire to search or date, then just do what you want when you want.
I quit dating a couple of years ago and I'm still happy with my decision. It took a little getting used to the idea, but you have to weigh the good with the bad. I had too much bad. I'm not saying that I'll never find someone because I believe in fate and if it happens, it happens.
I've been in love three times in my lifetime and I feel blessed to have known love. Some people aren't that lucky. I had 2 sons that were the best gifts from my marriage.
Maybe my picker just isn't good! I have more money in my pocket now because I don't have to worry about "date" clothes or all the other money issues a relationship can involve. I never really enjoyed being a cook and a housekeeper, so I do those things when I feel like it now. I come and go as I please and I'm blessed to have a good family that I'm close with.
If that's your choice, then run with it. Not every person needs another person to complete them. Do things for you for right now. You might find out after a certain amount of time that you don't like being single, but take this time to enjoy your life for yourself.
I wish you future happiness.
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