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I don't understand why you are stereotyping a large group of men. Many go abroad to find and marry women of their dreams, not buy them. Many guys find this comment offensive. Isn't this against forum guidelines? I am sure many women will be very upset if you stereotype a large group of women.
I know guys that have married girls from abroad. Some have worked well, others have not. They didn't GO to those countries to find wives, they were there, met them.... and the rest is history.
We have a huge populations of Filipino's and know some who still have houses over there and travel back and forth all the time.
I am no way stereotyping a large group of men, I am responding to the ones who post here and their statements. If they are not looking for comments and/or reaction - then why are they posting here?
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Women often say around here how southern men are real gentlemen, they always pay, they open doors, they pull chairs to help a woman sit down, etc. but have a guy say he likes how women overseas offer things western girls don't and all of a sudden that is wrong?
What? Who says anyone's coming back to America? This thread is about a guy who wants to go to the Philippines because he feels like he fits in better there.
So the fellow in question is planning on immigrating to the Philippines? In that case, I wish him all of the best.
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonsaid
... Are american women naturally fuc ked up? No. But the culture is. Those guys that go over there don't hate american women themselves, what they hate is what the culture has done to a lot of them. People are products of their culture. The culture is messed up, therefore it produced messed up people who under different circumstances would turn out just fine.
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree that there's a profound and endemic problem with Western culture, particularly as practiced in America. But one consequence of globalization is that the Western approach is permeating everywhere. Short of isolated enclaves of religious extremists, there isn't a place that's somehow insulated.
More importantly, America is the proverbial melting-pot. Persons who come here – whether as graduate students, kids, spouses, or whatnot – assimilate culturally (if not linguistically). If we suppose that there's something corrosive about the culture, rather than the people – then all denizens will eventually become subject to the corrosion, regardless of their origin or ethnicity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonsaid
Western women ought to take the hint. What I mean is when your men run off abroad it means that western culture is fu cked.
It's a matter of supply and demand. If millions of American men were "running off", then indeed American women would "take the hint". But how many men have become such indomitable pioneers? I don't see American women panicking, or making amends for their intransigence. But I do see increasing mistrust between the two genders. And that's helping neither women nor men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonsaid
Unfortunately in the west, the cons have finally outweighed the pros. Hence the growing exodus.
Interesting perspective. It's not difficult to persuade me that romantic relationships, from a male viewpoint, are easier and more aboveboard in non-Western societies. But do the West's cons really outweigh the pros? For example, my career is only possible in a technologically-advanced society with a stable tax-base, large public sector and strong academic community.
Most assuredly, I do see a cultural/societal problem, but is emigration from America the remedy? Is there really a substantial number of American men who are deliberately moving overseas for dating-reasons, as opposed to career-advancement or military deployment or just natural curiosity?
It's isn't a male of female issue.
It is the type of lifestyle we live in the west that is the determining factor.
And make no mistake, just as we here in the west have changed to become what we are (for better or for worse) so are other parts of the world.
You as an indivual need to decide where your happiness lays and what makes you feel fulfilled. If that means searching beyond your own boarders to seek a place and people who match your own ideals...go for it.
On the potential for a relationship issue the OP seems to have made his decision. On the practical level of earning a living, clearing immigration issues and living without a safety net since what net there is is held by the extended family clan needs more thought then the internet will provide.
Women often say around here how southern men are real gentlemen, they always pay, they open doors, they pull chairs to help a woman sit down, etc. but have a guy say he likes how women overseas offer things western girls don't and all of a sudden that is wrong?
Lets call it what it is. He is a bit of a....sorry to say it....loser. Look, people can get mad at me all they want. But if he is having such a difficult time here, you know he just doesn't have much going for him. He11 you can go to the supermarket, movies, park, etc and see all types of people paired up. Good looking people, not so good looking people, thin people, fat people, low class people, middle class people, etc. All paired up. You can see the goofiest looking couple walking down the street all hand in hand and happy. So if he is having a problem......
People know that the *typical* guy that has to go search elsewhere for women usually isn't the stud type of guy. He usually is NOT a desireable guy for whatever reason. It isnt that the women are this, or that. He just doesnt have much to make women like him
He is low on the pole of *desireability*, so to speak. People get this. It's just not politically correct to say it.
So, actually, I guess this type of guy should go look elsewhere. But he should keep an eye on what is exactly going on and what a woman outside of the US may want him for.
But aren't the American men the products of the same messed-up culture as well, with their own entitlements and unrealistic expectations? Why do they think that Filipinas or women from any other culture will be falling over themselves for a screwed up American? And maybe if the men were less screwed up, they'd have better luck with women from their own culture.
Really. They sprang from the loins of an American woman, didn't they? Maybe these guys who feel compelled to go overseas have mommy issues. In fact, I'll lay some money that mommy issues are a lot of it. They want someone to cook and clean and do their laundry and simper and fawn all over them, just like mommy used to.
Lets call it what it is. He is a bit of a....sorry to say it....loser. Look, people can get mad at me all they want. But if he is having such a difficult time here, you know he just doesn't have much going for him. He11 you can go to the supermarket, movies, park, etc and see all types of people paired up. Good looking people, not so good looking people, thin people, fat people, low class people, middle class people, etc. All paired up. You can see the goofiest looking couple walking down the street all hand in hand and happy. So if he is having a problem......
People know that the *typical* guy that has to go search elsewhere for women usually isn't the stud type of guy. He usually is NOT a desireable guy for whatever reason. It isnt that the women are this, or that. He just doesnt have much to make women like him
He is low on the pole of *desireability*, so to speak. People get this. It's just not politically correct to say it.
So, actually, I guess this type of guy should go look elsewhere. But he should keep an eye on what is exactly going on and what a woman outside of the US may want him for.
These are all reasonable points. I'd add that "desirability" is partially a matter of absolute criteria, and partially (perhaps, mostly) a matter of the ineffable and slippery traits that can't be quantified or rigorously noted. The former are essentially the same in all societies. No society, to my knowledge, has a majority of women who prefer an obese or flabby man. The latter however are strongly dependent on the particular society, and the particular subset of society. For example, I would suppose that in East Asia, engineering is a prestigious and valued profession. In America, generally it is not. So perhaps a male engineer would "do better" in the East, than in America.
A "loser" could veritably be a failure in many quantifiable aspects of life, and nevertheless succeed with romantic relationships. On the other hand, one could be reasonably successful in education, career, money, fitness and the like, and still be a "loser" in relationships. This happens to people who don't fit into society, who are timid or unapproachable, who just haven't figured out the prevailing American social queues. For these latter, their loserhood is situational. For them there is the hope - and not unreasonable hope - of doing better socially in a different society.
An example - but, granted, a contrived one... A former colleague of mine in graduate school was a brilliant man. He's Russian, a graduate of the prestigious Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology. He represented Russia the physics Olympiad, and won a full scholarship to grad school. Elegant, well-dressed, tall and slender, he approached women with goofy pickup lines, and expected instant success. He failed miserably. After graduating with his PhD in physics, he was recruited by the management consultancy McKinsey, likely earning $200K/year (this was the late 1990s, during the tech boom). He obtained a green card, and was all set to settle in America, with a cushy job. But his bad luck with women persisted. On a whim, he quit his job, reverse-immigrated back to Russia, and started working in a bank (or some such thing) in Moscow. I heard that within weeks he was dating successfully, and in a year or so he got married. Today he has a stable marriage and family.
So indeed some aspects of loserhood depend on the particular society. Others are universal.
Still, we return to the point of whether emigrating for America strictly for dating purposes is a worthwhile proposition. I contend that it is not. A "situational" loser might fare poorly with women in America, but do quite well in China or Russia or whatnot. I don't deny this. But I don't see this as good justification for immigration.
If a guy wants to compare prostitutes in one place, to prostitutes in another.. sure why not. So be it. It's almost certainly a better chance you'll get better deals in impoverished countries. I'm not negating that.
I simply have a problem when guys go to other countries, deal with poor trashy women and then act like they are dealing with high quality women and say the ones in the United States are terrible.
It's also most likely easier to get laid as a foreigner in another country, simply because there will always be at least one or two women who are interested in sleeping with a foreign dude. Especially where slutty women hang out, like night clubs. Hell, imagine how easy it would be for a British guy to clean up at an American club.
However, to find a long term relationship where both people are equals and not a sugar daddy type deal is probably not any easier to find in a foreign country than your own. Most people are not comparing apples to apples.
I wasn't talking about prostitutes or sluts. I mean it's extremely easy to pick up girls that are working at restaurants, working in clothing stores, working at banks, etc. while they are working. Even the girl at the airport couldn't keep her composure and dropped everything and giggled the whole time because she thought that I was "too cute".
With that said, I'm told that I'm good-looking in the US too or I overhear girls say that about me. So it's not like I'm some loser that can't get girls in the US.
However, my point was that ANY guy can do tremendously better in the Philippines than he will be able to do at home. So if you get nothing at home, you will get something there. If you do okay at home, you will do well there. If you do well at home, you will absolutely clean up there.
And I'm not talking about just getting laid....
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