What does good in bed even mean

[Kings Gambit]

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

Good to me would be: enthusiastic, uninhibited, considerate, picks up on subtle cues. I like for him to let me know he's enjoying himself, too.

This ^^^^^

I'll add that I like direct communication as well instead of subtle clues.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by stormynh

I hear this term all the time, but, what does it even mean? Is it somebody that has experience or yells and screams? I just don't know?????

For me it means:

A. They know what they're doing, and have a good knowledge of the "lay of the land" down there, so to speak, and understand women's body's.

B. They are perceptive enough to be able to tell when adjustments need to be made and adjust accordingly.

C. They are uninhibited, and can take charge

[hawaiiancoconut]

Whenever it's good, I either can't find my boxers or lose one sock.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Definitely. Both are important, with subtly being reserved for when one is so caught up in the moment they can't quite articulate what they want. Sometimes there's just no nice way to say "If you stop now I'll punch you in the face"

Originally Posted by Kings Gambit

This ^^^^^

I'll add that I like direct communication as well instead of subtle clues.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

For me it means:

A. They know what they're doing, and have a good knowledge of the "lay of the land" down there, so to speak, and understand women's body's.

B. They are perceptive enough to be able to tell when adjustments need to be made and adjust accordingly.

C. They are uninhibited, and can take charge

I have a similar list, though substitute man's body for woman's, and substitute being an aggressive sub for taking charge.

Being able to read the body is critical. Not all people are able to, and even those that are, very many do not want to, verbally state what they want/need. Having the other person being able to read the body is key.

[Sonic_Spork]

Definitely what different partners like is going to vary a lot. So because of that...

1. Communication. Don't be afraid to talk beforehand.

2. A sense of humor. Don't be afraid to laugh in bed, and for the love of all that's hole-y, HAVE FUN with sex. If you approach it like a dead serious need to step up and perform, or if you have major head-baggage and insecurities you can't get past, enough to realize that it's supposed to be a good time, that's not good. The BEST sex involves the freedom to laugh sometimes.

3. Be open minded. If you are willing to try things that other partners have not, give your partner experiences they've always wondered about but didn't feel safe or free to explore with anyone else, you will stand out.

4. Don't be selfish. Too many people are.

5. Treat your partner's body and your own like playthings, and that means All The Parts, not just one or two specific fun-zones.

6. Make sounds. Speak words. (This one is difficult for me, I hate my voice and I'm self conscious about it.) One of the sexiest words ever is your partner's name, and I don't just mean yelling it out, but if you make a statement, use their name before or after. Instead of just "That feels amazing" in your sexiest voice, say "Oh, <partner's name>, that feels amazing." Do not under any circumstances be a silent lover, if you can possibly help it.

7. Don't be afraid of getting sloppy.

8. Don't be done, when you're done. If you finish and you're like, well...that was fun, and you just go get dressed or fall asleep, that's pretty lame. You can continue to tease, play, and torment a partner for a while. This one really sets a man (especially) apart from others. Most guys are done when they finish. A special man will figure out how not to be. In particular if there is no particular attempt to get a second round of actual sex happening, just snuggling and playing with your partner a bit shows that you love their body for more than just the obvious pleasure it can give you.

9. Be clean. Look, maybe it can be awkward to stop and go get clean just before the act, but if there is any doubt in your mind about it being necessary, you are way better safe than sorry. Smelly personal bits are one of the biggest turn offs I can think of. The funny part about this is, some may assume I'm talking mostly about women. They would be assuming WRONG. There are men in my past who actually stand out in my memory for smelling bad. And there are woman scents that don't smell as bad as some people seem to think. Just be clean. And I think that there should be a rule that if you are with someone and they smell, you can invite them for some sexytime in the shower...

10. All of this is in addition to proficiency in various acts of love, attentiveness, and enthusiasm.

Notice. I did not mention a single thing about the size of any body part, or stamina in the act.

I also think that women would benefit from watching more porn, and men would benefit from reading romance novels or watching sensual scenes in films. Checking out the stuff that appeals to the opposite gender a bit.

[11thHour]

It means she's a freak in the sheets.

[PJSaturn]

This thread is closed. It is not a relationships topic.

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