My boyfriend isn't talking to me because of this. Is it all my fault? (girlfriend, girls)

[Confused11]

I have no idea what is going on. My boyfriend has always complained that I don't love, or care for him as much as he does for me. I do - however my way of expressing my love is just different from his. I'm not a 'loud lover'. I've also been dealing with depression lately, so things have just been very difficult and confusing for me. I'm not a perfect girlfriend, I have my flaws and have angered him due to my moodiness, and insecurities in the past. But I've been loyal to him, and have loved him to the best of my ability.

But anyways, he has recently stopped talking to me, and I'm not even sure why. He stopped talking to me after I went out to an all girls dinner. I havn't hung out with friends for several months due to my depression, and even 10 minutes before leaving my house I broke down and didn't want to go because my boyfriend seemed upset. However, my mom (who was over at the time) encouraged me to go to the dinner anyways because I'm always at home doing nothing. The same day I knew my boyfriend was a little moody and upset because of some problem at home - but I thought he'd snap out of it because the issue didn't seem that big. After I got home from the dinner, I tried to contact him, asked him why he wasn't talking to me, but he wouldn't tell me and asked to be left alone. So I did just that. 10 days, and I didn't hear from him, so I contacted him asking him what was going on. I asked him if this relationship was over, he said no. I asked him then why isn't he communicating with me, he said he doesn't know. I asked him if he was mad over me going out to the dinner, and not inquiring about his mood enough - to which he responded "it's irrelevant now. You were just being yourself." I asked him if he wanted to discuss things, and he kept saying "do you have anything to say?" And I kept saying that I wanted us to discuss things, but he was being extremely unresponsive. So then I asked him, "am I annoying you?" He said "what do you think?" I said "Seems like it" and he's like "yeah." and then I said "okay sorry." Shortly after that, I sent him a message telling him I was there for him, still loved him, and if/when he's ready to talk to me about things - we can do that, and I'll be waiting for him. He just said 'Okay' and since then we havn't spoken.

So I'm super confused, and upset. The relationship isn't over for him, yet he's not talking to me properly at all. He hasn't done this before ever, and it just doesn't make sense to me. Was this really all over me going to my friends house, and not catering to his mood enough? Like.. do I really deserve to be ignored over something like this?

[rego00123]

The first line says it all.

How do you expect to understand one another when you can't even understand why someone loves you?

How do YOU show your love?
How does he show his?

It just sounds like getting tired of not feeling appreciated and being taken for granted coming to a head. It will settle back down and start all over again if you guys never get on the same page and drop the excuses for how you behave to one another.

[howdydoody342]

if u've told him u struggle with depression and he doesnt support u in some way, leave and find someone that is mature. Dont waste ur time on people playing games.

[TUMF]

He's being a selfish jerk, and you get to pay the price.
You've done what you've done - and I hope you had a good time with your friends.
He's pouting like a five year old.
Don't call him - or text him - let him make the move.
Until he does, do the things that you like to do - without him.
When he gets back in touch at that point you can determine if you more enjoy his company, or what you were doing while he was being a selfish bratty, pouting snot....

[Ruth4Truth]

He said, "you were just being yourself". That means that he perceives a pattern of behavior on your part that he's not happy with, or is getting tired of, or is hurt by. Maybe all he wanted was for you to ask, "Are you ok?" when he was moody that day. Or maybe he's having trouble being with someone who's struggling with depression. You can't know, and address it, if he doesn't discuss it. Communication is one key to a successful relationship, you seem to know that.

How does he express support when you're moody or depressed? Is he helpful? Do you think he might feel that the relationship is a one-way street in that regard? Does he even know or understand that you're struggling with depression? I agree, this needs to be discussed, but you've done all you can at this point.

[JrzDefector]

Ugh. I have one word. RUN.

If you have to work on yourself, go and do it. But this guy isn't gonna help you.

[CapsChick]

Has he always been this passive-aggressive?

[rosebyanothername]

Communication between the two of you is not good. Red Flag.
He is manipulating you. Red Flag.
He is controlling you. Red Flag.
He doesn't want you to have friends and gets upset if you go do something with them. Red Flag.

Throw him back in the water and give him time to grow. If you haven't found someone more mature by the time he does, that is.

[ScarletG]

He is engaging in emotional abuse and is trying to escalate it. Run from this one.

He's making you unsure of yourself...not supporting you...telling you that he loves you more then you care....has a tantrum when you ocassionly see your own friends.

Maybe through your depression you can't see it....but any chance he's the cause of your issues in the first place?

[Lilac110]

What a passive-aggressive jackass your boyfriend is. Really.

Who cares if the relationship isn't over for him? It should be over for you. Get rid of him.