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She messaged me first (which is rare on dating sites, it's usually the guy initiating contact) and seems very much into me. She seems like a nice girl and we share common interests. The only issue so far is that she is divorced with two kids. One of my rules is not to date anyone with kids.
We just had a long (first) online conversation last night and she already wants to get together this weekend for lunch date.
Should I break my own rule and give her a chance? Is it better to meet sooner than later when meeting someone online...or better to get to know someone first? We are both in mid 30s.
You need to know your own mind. If you're really against kids it is a waste of time (and heart) for both of you. If she's smart she won't introduce you until you're well-attached and by then it'll be even harder if you don't get along with her (or any) kids.
Look at it this way...would you have responded back or be thinking about a date if you found out she was, say 100 pounds overweight (and that was on your make or break list). I'm not trying to be cruel here, just giving an example that many guys could relate to, regardless of how pc it is.
If your 100% sure your against dating someone with children, then just tell her your not interested and move on. It is much better than going on a couple dates, getting attached, getting her hopes up potentially, then cutting ties due to the kids you knew about from the start.
Should I break my own rule and give her a chance? Is it better to meet sooner than later when meeting someone online...or better to get to know someone first? We are both in mid 30s.
Absolutely not. You don't have to do that to yourself just because society is trying to beat you into submission about not wanting to take care of someone else's kids.
Absolutely not. You don't have to do that to yourself just because society is trying to beat you into submission about not wanting to take care of someone else's kids.
Your boundaries are healthy -- keep them.
He is talking about 1 date, not a lifetime commitment.
We do not even know the ages of the kids, what the situation is with her and the father, etc.
No need to jump to these conclusions
Except to say, if his attitude mirrors yours, dating anyone with kids certainly should be left to other people. (Which it might, considering his stated position of not dating women with kids).
She messaged me first (which is rare on dating sites, it's usually the guy initiating contact) and seems very much into me. She seems like a nice girl and we share common interests. The only issue so far is that she is divorced with two kids. One of my rules is not to date anyone with kids.
We just had a long (first) online conversation last night and she already wants to get together this weekend for lunch date.
Should I break my own rule and give her a chance? Is it better to meet sooner than later when meeting someone online...or better to get to know someone first? We are both in mid 30s.
Please don't waste her time. You don't like kids; nothing wrong with that, but don't date someone with kids then. It's not fair to the single mom.
Thanks for the responses. Good points We were chatting so late that I fell asleep without saying bye. She has sent me two messages since (which I haven't responded to yet) so she seems to be into me. I almost mentioned my rule last night but decided not too since the interaction was going so well.
How do I break it off at this point without being an ass? Do I say exactly what the rule is and then wish her luck? Or tell her that I'm not ready to meet and then start obsessing about some of my geeky hobbies so she dumps me.
I could offer to be friends but she might be one of those pushy ones who won't settle for anything less than a relationship. For example, we meet and then she continues to contact me non-stop and doesn't accept no for an answer. Some women don't handle rejection too well. We haven't exchanged any personal info at this point (phone numbers, names, etc)
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(Which it might, considering his stated position of not dating women with kids).
