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Still different. He went in knowing damn well he was giving free food out to someone who he had no chance of having sex with in the future, the other guests at the party.
Point taken. If he had invited me over for a steak dinner, just me, should I have paid for my dinner then?
No. I have always had guy friends. I don't date friends, tho I have had a couple FWB, but we didn't "date". That's why there are friends and boyfriends. Anyway you are not going to be friends with someone you haven't met yet. It also take some time to develop friendships.
Yes. Personally, I prefer to enjoy a friendship first and so far that is how it has worked fine with me and the other person. We meet, start to talk, and meet again some other time. It can be with a group of friends or just the two of us. We enjoy some activities when we have free time, no pressure. As friends there are no expectations or demands from either side. Nice gestures come and go regardless of gender. Then certain feelings start to grow for each other and we become an item. It may take more time than just dating someone and getting romantic soon but I prefer the longer route.
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There are women who are damsels in distress and women who aren't…I have used it at times for my benefit, but not for dating purposes.
I remember there was a thread a couple of months ago about how women use this for their benefit.
I don't wear suits on dates, but I have a completely different date wardrobe than a work wardrobe, or hanging out doing whatever wardrobe. And yeah, I polish my shoes or boots, sure. Not every single time, but often enough. And no, I don't think most guys neccesarily do those things daily, although, if I have a date at night I'll shave again at night after doing so that morning before work.
I don't see it as much different than what a woman does. It's unsettling, and really a bit of a turn off, for a woman to look like they came from a spa or whatever on a date, unless it is a fancy special occasion thing. Things like manicures, and the like, are things women do for themselves, not for men. Us guys don't notice that stuff. That's the thing, there are things people do for themselves, and what they do for others, they're different. What guys and girls do for each other is effectively the same.
IDK. I've seen some women go nuts getting ready for a date changing clothes a whole bunch of times, 40+ minutes doing hair and makeup, then painting nails, its crazy.
I still think if someone considers these online first "dates" just meet ups they need to be clear about it. If they expect dutch if they don't hit it off, or if its just friends at this point they should be cool with the date showing up in what they have been wearing that day.
I dont understand this attitude of whose time is more valuable or wasting anyones time either. I mean what else would you have been doing and didnt you both agree to meet. If its that big of a burden to date, meet-up or whatever just stay at home.
Still different. He went in knowing damn well he was giving free food out to someone who he had no chance of having sex with in the future, the other guests at the party.
So is that what it all really boils down to still, I'll pay for your food if I get some nookie.
I guess next time I have a shindig Ill assess the guest and determine which ones I can get a little from later then charge the rest for their food.
Yes. Personally, I prefer to enjoy a friendship first and so far that is how it has worked fine with me and the other person. We meet, start to talk, and meet again some other time. It can be with a group of friends or just the two of us. We enjoy some activities when we have free time, no pressure. As friends there are no expectations or demands from either side. Nice gestures come and go regardless of gender. Then certain feelings start to grow for each other and we become an item. It may take more time than just dating someone and getting romantic soon but I prefer the longer route.
To each their own. I just have never developed romantic interests in my friends.
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I remember there was a thread a couple of months ago about how women use this for their benefit.
They are just trying to make men happy by boosting their egos. Wouldn't want to be accused of emasculating them.
When something heavy needs moved I just flutter my lashes and ask if one of you big strong fellas could move this for me. Its amazing how they knock each other over to be the the one to move it. Just keeping the boys happy.
So is that what it all really boils down to still, I'll pay for your food if I get some nookie.
A bad way of thinking for some guys. As bad as women who think they have to be fed because they gave a guy the "privilege" to sit across the table from her.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
To each their own. I just have never developed romantic interests in my friends.
I just can’t see myself falling in love with someone I just had a date with. For me, it takes longer than the first date. I may have romantic interest in someone and she has them with me but before we take that step to a formal relationship we go out, have a good time, get to know each other, and then take the step. But before the relationship we enjoy that friendship going out, not in a group setting.
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They are just trying to make men happy by boosting their egos. Wouldn't want to be accused of emasculating them
This can have different reactions. Guys that like to be generous. Guys that know that if they don’t pay and follow other dating rules they won’t get a date. Guys who find it sexist to be expected to do it all simply because of their gender. I guess woman find that out sooner or later.
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When something heavy needs moved I just flutter my lashes and ask if one of you big strong fellas could move this for me. Its amazing how they knock each other over to be the the one to move it. Just keeping the boys happy.
Hahaha! And it work wonders. It was an interesting thread. It would be great if men could adjust their tie or collar for ladies to knock each other over to go do his laundry or cook but it just gets them frowny faces.
And even if I don't find "the one" with this method, I've made professional contacts, friends, people I've made out with and/or had sex with, lovers, girlfriends of various lengths, running buddies, etc etc. None of that is a waste. Connecting with people is one of, if not the, most important thing in the world.
Well said man. I am going out with a girl from my softball team this Friday. Not sure if it's really a "date," but we'll see how it goes. Then I have a wedding on Saturday! My buddy from high school is getting married. Damn I feel old now. Then Saturday night I go back into Boston to celebrate a girl's birthday from my bowling team,
Lots of cool people I've met in the last year or so.
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