Should you move if you love your job, but hate the city? (no social life)

[missladytexas]

I would absolutely move away if I were in your situation. If you are formerly obese and the only people your age are obese then I can understand how bad the influence can be to fall back into bad habits. People that used to be obese have a much higher chance of being that way again after weight loss so your future health may very well depend on being surrounded by people with healthy lifestyles like your own. I also understand why someone with a higher education level wouldn't want to date someone without it and feel uninspired and bored. I completely understand all of that. You would have nothing to lose by moving imho because your happiness and health is more important than any job especially since it's just YOU that you have to take care of. Apply for a job in bigger and better cities and move on when you get the chance because that is much easier when you are single with no children to worry about. The time to do it is NOW. Your post sounds honest and I don't begrudge you any bit of it. You weren't overly rude or callous about any of it so I don't understand the hostility you are getting.

And this is coming from someone that was a single mother in her early 20's with only one year of college education lol. I was low-income and I was never offended by men with higher education levels or without children not being interested in me. It made perfect sense for them to not be interested in me due to my limited education and having a child already. I knew I would have to date someone that had their own baggage and that wasn't highly educated. I understood because if I put myself in their shoes I would probably not want to date me either. I lucked out by meeting a great guy that I've been married to for 14 years that was also working class and pretty broke at the time. We didn't graduate college until our 30's and struggled tremendously off and on over the years.

I think I got off topic for a second there..sorry..just trying to let you know that I completely understand your feelings on all of these things even though I would have fit your description of a low-wage early 20's person with limited education. I think you should definitely move to a place that gives you a better social life and a chance to stick with your new healthy lifestyle as soon as you possibly can.

[JC84]

OP, I feel like I could've written your post myself. I ended up taking an amazing job in my college town after college. But like your situation, the bright ones left for bigger and better things. I became increasingly lonely, alienated by living amongst a majority of people with completely opposite political views and those of a lower-socio economic status. Also generally less educated and traveled. Suddenly the only friends one has left are townies that do nothing but get drunk around a bonfire every.single.night.

But I digress. Luckily, my office consolidated into our sister office in the big city about an hour away. I HAD to move to keep aforementioned awesome job. But you know what? I am SO much happier. I live so close to art galleries, museums, whole foods type stores. Here's where OKCupid comes in, and it's fabulous. Oh and my job? It took a turn for the not so great when my company was acquired. But still, I'm MUCH happier living somewhere that makes me happy. Life truly is too short to stay somewhere blah your whole life. Think of all the missed opportunities for fun things and memories, and new friendships you could be missing out on...what job is worth that?

[JC84]

Originally Posted by Sommie789

My exes drink like crazy but I do not.
My dad loves eating sweets while my mom doesn't.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to primarily associate with people who have a positive effect on you rather than a negative one. What works for you or your parents doesn't work for everyone.

[SophieLL]

OP, you really really need to move out of that little town. Its not the place for you.

I moved out of my natal city (much bigger than yours:500,000 people) at the tender age of 19!!!to a college city (a city full of prestigiuos universities where young people from all over the country go to study) that was not only bigger, more urban and cultural: it was exactly what i needed at that monent (a city full of young students doing young student life). After graduating i moved to the biggest city of the country: a huge cosmopolitan city, 13 million people,cultural vibe, open, etc. Theres NO way i would ever return to live to that city i was born in: too town - like for me. I cant even imagine what living in "evanville, Indiana" is like.

Town life is not for everyone. Run from that hole and go to a real city.

[belovenow]

Originally Posted by sdquarle

Simple solution here.

Move. ... you'll probably have issues meeting someone elsewhere too.

^^^this^^^ It's an issue that may follow you to your new place. My recommendation is to expand your social circle by joining groups that do activities you are interested in (which may attract like-minded/similar people). For me, when I started doing Yoga at a Yoga studio that helped tremendously (but I'm a guy, and one of the only guys - so it ended up being perfect for me)... seriously, figure out something you enjoy doing as an outlet that may attract your type of men and go do it.

Regarding the whole vegan in the midwest thing... I empathize... I'm in a similar situation myself and find myself surrounded by a lot of overweight and unaware people who cannot relate to the idea of not eating fast-food or chugging soft drinks or even just doing Yoga and Meditation regularly. It's ok though... I can sense things are improving... more people are waking up every day. I've already moved across the country and figured out that other than minor cultural differences, people are so similar now "everywhere" due to TV/Movie/Cultural programming that you need to find your joy where you are.