What is it about being good at sales that make you struggle at dating? (girlfriend, women)

[TheCarSalesKid]

I have been reading certain internet forums for a long time, and if there is one thing I noticed is that certain types of people struggle at certain things in life...

...I've always had dating-related problems (in addition to a few others) and came to a professional cross road at my life at the young age of 23. From all my reading of internet forums I noticed a statistical anomaly amongst men who complain about their dating life, a good number were...

...Car salesmen!

...So I did further research, because out of those who complained were rather good at car sales IN AN INDUSTRY WITH VERY HIGH BURNOUT AND TURNOVER.

...Then I interviewed, got hired, turns out I actually like it and I am good at it.

...Which begs the question, there must be a correlation for poor dating life and being good at car sales, what can it possibly be?


Mod cut.

[Stagemomma]

Funny that you ask. I've been speed dating a couple of times and met at LOT of salesmen, particularly those who travel, who have trouble meeting women. My ex husband does as well.

My observation is they are friendly to meet, can make entertaining casual conversation and follow all the rules of contact, but beyond that they are sometimes 1) boring people (because they tend to try to match their personality to the person they are selling to and therefore don't develop as much personality of their own) OR 2) because the socializing aspect of their job drains them out and the have no energy left for a girlfriend OR 3) because they are just not emotionally available, for reasons unrelated to their career, yet in sales work that is not a problem for them.

I can say all three applied to my ex. So I am probably overly sensitive to it when dating. On the plus side, I have found that successful salesmen are often very accommodating and will work over time to please their woman.

I'm not bashing salesmen in any way. I recently dated a great guy who was good at sales and eager to please, he was just 12 years older than I and I couldn't make that work.

If you are a concerned car salesman, read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman so you can be adept at all of them and find deeper connections with the women you go out with.

Best of luck to you! You sound like a nice intelligent guy.

[Katnan]

What research did you come across other than your own observations based on Internet messagboards?

People who have dating issues aren't as a result of their job alone.

[onihC]

Don't see how a common profession would really play a role on someone's ability to date.

[TheCarSalesKid]

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

What research did you come across other than your own observations based on Internet messagboards?

People who have dating issues aren't as a result of their job alone.

I HAVE SPECIFICALLY used the word correlation in the OP that the job is merely a correlation, not causation.

[SVTLightning]

I think it is because good salesmen are rarely seen as sincere.

[TheCarSalesKid]

Originally Posted by SVTLightning

I think it is because good salesmen are rarely seen as sincere.

The best salesmen are the most sincere. Keeping customer satisfaction high brings and keeps more customers.

[Checkered24]

There is no answer to this thread because it is based on a false premise. Good sales people are not predisposed to being bad at dating or forming romantic relationships because they are good at selling something.

[rego00123]

Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

I work in a sales industry and no one of our sales people have issues in the dating world

I would say your job has nothing to do with you ability to find dates since you have already admitted you have always struggled romantically

[CSD610]

If you are that good at selling vehicles you would actually be much better at dating since dating is a form of "selling" yourself to someone for romance.