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Did I say my feelings? No, I didn't specify my feelings. It might be my feelings, it may be hers, it may be both or neither. Of course I don't want my feelings hurt. And the person seeing me doesn't want their feelings hurt. The emotional disappointment goes both ways. The point is to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt, because without opening yourself up to being hurt one can't experience joy either, with minimizing the hurt if it is going to occur.
Do you have no understanding of why people enter into relationships and work on them? It sure seems like you really don't have a clue about entering relationships. Maybe you see them as a battle of the sexes. Your comments seem like you think they are. To me, and most well adjusted people I know it is about making connections and forming partnerships.
My love life isn't for you to vote on. And there are women that meet my expectations and I meet theirs. Not everyone is a game player, and I'm dating someone right now that is not. I don't waste time on people that aren't willing to take a chance on finding love, or that views sex as something that needs to be kept under a lock and key until you earn entry. Most adults rejected those childish games by the end of their 20s.
.....It is just what dating is about. It is trying to find people we can make a connection with, and we see things the same. We have similar values and outlooks, and desires. If rejecting someone because they're so very different that there is no way we could really form a partnership is bad, then F it. they might be "great women", they can be great for someone else. I want to make healthy, positive, connections with awesome people. Not to play games....
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33
The amount of hypocrisy in this post is staggering. You are nothing but a hypocrite. You are not interested in "relationships" - you are interested in getting laid. What you call "connections" are you trying to get women to "connect" with your d!ck. The only games that are happening are in your own head where you make all the rules and everyone else is a loser because they aren't as loose with their sex organs as you are. You are sleeping with multiple women to try them out - and I truly doubt that you're telling all of them that you're auditioning all these other women while you're dating them, so you're also a liar.
I feel nothing but pure disgust for your mindset.
I agree, Moon. First of all, sounds as if trying to cover all the bases. He has said, it is pointless if the woman doesn't "do it" within 1-3 dates (probably doesn't even wait until #3), but says he "attempts to create aand work on a relationship". HOW? When? Two people barely know anything about the other in 1-3 dates, even longer, needing time to discover and develop anything worth having in every way (not that I have to tell you that, just for the sake of the post). So, having sex informs each other of something and yes, people want to be sexually compatible - and though it may be exciting, even then, it does not indicate everything to know about another, sexually. And desiring "Healthy, positive connections with awesome people"?... sure, many people would love that, but I don't think that is what "wham-bam" is doing.
The amount of hypocrisy in this post is staggering. You are nothing but a hypocrite. You are not interested in "relationships" - you are interested in getting laid. What you call "connections" are you trying to get women to "connect" with your d!ck. The only games that are happening are in your own head where you make all the rules and everyone else is a loser because they aren't as loose with their sex organs as you are. You are sleeping with multiple women to try them out - and I truly doubt that you're telling all of them that you're auditioning all these other women while you're dating them, so you're also a liar.
I feel nothing but pure disgust for your mindset.
And I feel pity for your lack of critical thinking. I am interested in relationships, and I'm in one now. There are no games.
I never said anything about any rules. I never called anyone a loser. The only person calling anyone names here are you.
And yes, before when I was dating around to try to find the right person to enter a committed relationship with, and sleeping with them, which is part of dating as an adult, they knew we weren't monogamous. Guess what?!?! I knew they were sleeping with others as well. That's normal and expected.
But hey, keep calling me and other men names since you can't live life like an adult and you feel truly threatened by those that are adults.
Quote:
Originally Posted by In2itive_1
I agree, Moon. First of all, sounds as if trying to cover all the bases. He has said, it is pointless if the woman doesn't "do it" within 1-3 dates (probably doesn't even wait until #3), but says he "attempts to create aand work on a relationship". HOW? When? Two people barely know anything about the other in 1-3 dates, even longer, needing time to discover and develop anything worth having in every way (not that I have to tell you that, just for the sake of the post). So, having sex informs each other of something and yes, people want to be sexually compatible - and though it may be exciting, even then, it does not indicate everything to know about another, sexually. And desiring "Healthy, positive connections with awesome people"?... sure, many people would love that, but I don't think that is what "wham-bam" is doing.
Well you are wrong. No, you don't know everything about someone in 1-3 dates, but if they're good dates with good people, and there is good chemistry, you can become comfortable with those people. Why would someone continue to invest in a relationship with someone if you realize it has no future? I'm sorry, I'm not spending my time/energy in a relationship with no prospects of it advancing. So, naturally we have sex, because there is good chemistry and we're attracted to each other. If we're sexually incompatible, then we have just learned that there is no future. Many times I've become good platonic friends with these women, since we did get along and have chemistry.
I find it hilarious that so many people here pretend to be shocked at sleeping together within three dates, when most relationships I see occur after people hookup and then date later. They have sex before the first date. My longest relationship, 9 years, started this way and most weddings I have been to started this way (and not one of those has ended in a divorce).
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33
What you are doing is not having relationships. You are fu--ing women and then dumping them because they don't meet whatever arbitrary standards you have set them to meet.
When was the last time you actually had a committed, serious, monogamous relationship with a woman that lasted for more than a 3 months? I'm sure the answer will be very telling...
I'm in one now. I've had several relationships that were 5+ years. The longest 9 years. When I joined this site I just had a 2 year relationship end.
Yes, it is dating. Dating includes sex. Otherwise it is being platonic. I date, to try to find someone to have a monogamous committed relationship with. Maybe you don't, so you date differently. That is your business.
Of course, everyone with a decent head on their shoulders knows there can not be a romantic relationship without sex. And if two people aren't sexually compatible then there can be no romantic relationship. So sex comes before commitment and it is best that all the things that can break a relationship be determined earlier than later. Maybe you have tons and tons of free time to date around for months on end without caring if you're compatible with the other person. My time is too valuable to do that. I only date people I see a potential relationship with.
Last edited by mustelid1971; 08-03-2015 at 06:51 AM..
i just started seeing this wonderful guy a week ago we chatted online for alittle while before we actually met in person.I didnt have sex with him the first night but we both wanted to we were attracted right away. He is a perfect gentlemen opens the car door for me treats me with respect he is fun to be around we laughi just really like him a lot. So my question here is was it wrong to sleep with him on the second date, oh he is 53 i am 45 we are 2 consenting adults. whats your opinion on this?
You are two consenting mature adults, there is nothing wrong with sleeping together on the second date. You guys are clearly physically attracted to each other so If it works out then you have a great story to tell (if you want to tell) and if it doesn't then there are still lot of gentlemen left in this world so I'm sure your perfect match is out there. (Also it would be his lost)
That's a memorable lesson. Too bad it didn't also cure you of your liberalism
I'm not necessarily liberal on everything. I'd like whoever repped me to DM me.
The quoted post said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa
I only had one "one night stand" and even it was not quite that. I knew a girl named Alicia in high school. Though I graduated in 1975 the last I'd seen her was spring 1972. We didn't have classes together.
Fast forward to June 29, 1987. I had just broken up with a one-year girlfriend. I ran into Alicia on a train platform and we recognized each other, barely. I took her out for dinner. Two weeks later I took her out again and went back to her apartment. Fortunately she had a condom handy. The next morning I asked her why her last name was hyphenated. She said she divorced some guy after finding gay literature in the apartment. She told me she had just taken an AIDS test. I called her just before Labor Day and she let me know it was clean. Suffice to say, no more adventures.
i just started seeing this wonderful guy a week ago we chatted online for alittle while before we actually met in person.I didnt have sex with him the first night but we both wanted to we were attracted right away. He is a perfect gentlemen opens the car door for me treats me with respect he is fun to be around we laughi just really like him a lot. So my question here is was it wrong to sleep with him on the second date, oh he is 53 i am 45 we are 2 consenting adults. whats your opinion on this?
No, the sooner, the better
Me and my wife, we slept on our first date. Still together 10 years later
What do you want to hear??? If you're both grown adults do what you like.....
Not sure why people feel the need for some kind of validation on this subject.
They can do what they like, I agree with you on that. But the second date is SO soon. I can see if you've known someone for a while, like months, and they ask you out and THEN you sleep together because you already have a comfort level with that person, you trust them enough because you've seen them in a variety of situations, you know they're not crazy, etc. But someone you more or less just met, sleeping with them on the second date? There are too many unknowns there for me.
They can do what they like, I agree with you on that. But the second date is SO soon. I can see if you've known someone for a while, like months, and they ask you out and THEN you sleep together because you already have a comfort level with that person, you trust them enough because you've seen them in a variety of situations, you know they're not crazy, etc. But someone you more or less just met, sleeping with them on the second date? There are too many unknowns there for me.
It's not my style either, but for some it is.
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