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That's 4 people. I'm not into that sort of thing, but if you are, no judgement.
Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
The OP's assertion seems to be that the institution of marriage is purportedly so holy and so transformative, that it fuses two into one, such that leisure or recreation spent apart becomes suspect – especially if said leisure offers at least potential opportunity to be "led astray". In this view, those who insist on such individual pursuits ought not to marry in the first place; and those who casually wave off such pursuits risk the unraveling of their marriage.
Traditionally, there was a double-standard. The wife was expected to remain dainty complaisant house-girl, while the husband would be out with his buddies. With gender-egalitarianism, such discrimination became impossible. What to do, if we seek to retain "traditional" veneration for marriage, but in a non-discriminatory way? The solution is to constrain both marital partners, turning marriage into a lockbox for both.
Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
I'd turn him down.
Does your husband want to go to a strip club? I'm trying to understand the point of this thread.
Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
FWIW I would turn down the solicitation. It would not even take a second thought.
Teritownstp, I've traveled alone (as well as with girlfriends) to foreign countries and been asked out. Yes, I've turned them down because I am in a relationship and it's not appropriate. I am not sure why you find this so hard to believe. My commitment to my partner and our relationship is not only valid within US borders.
Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
Guys hit on me right here where I live. Heck, the guy who sold me my bike was young, handsome and putting on the moves and I ignored it. I won't be unfaithful to my husband because I love him and would never betray his trust. Just because I would be in another country doesn't pertain at all.
Heck, my husband flew for a living. He was in Thailand, Philippines, tons of countries where women can be had for a drink. I'm sure he was tempted at times, but I know how he feels about these things.
If someone is going to be unfaithful they can accomplish that on their lunch hour at work.
And you totally missed the joke.
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Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
I would turn him down.
OP, this isn't about your husband. This is all about YOUR trust issues.
Let's say for the heck of it your husband went with a group of his friends to Ireland for 2 weeks and they were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish waitress came up to him and was flirty and poured the charm big time on him and she asked him to have dinner with her at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only her and him. And you are back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would HE turn down this charming woman's invitation to have dinner with her and tell her that HE is a happy married woman or would HE go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this woman?
That's what this is about. Period.
If you don't know the answer, you don't trust him.
Ok if you aren't in that sort of thing. Let's say for the heck of it you went with a group of your girlfriends to Ireland for 2 weeks and you were in a pub one night and a charming and extremely attractive Irish man came up to you and was flirty and poured the charm big time on you and he asked you to have dinner with him at a very fancy restaurant the following night. And this dinner is only you and him. And mind you , your husband is back at home in the states and doesn't have a clue of what is going on. Would you turn down this charming guys invitation to have dinner with him and tell him that you are a happy married woman or would you go and have a very nice and romantic dinner with this guy?
I just read this, this morning written by another "new poster." Except is was a man in a grocery store asking a woman out to coffee or something like that. I think that thread was closed.
You know, most people are perfectly capable of saying no/controlling their own actions. We aren't "animals" who rut with anyone in sight. Those who are in love don't find it hard at all to be loyal and faithful to their significant others. If someone can't control themselves, maybe that someone shouldn't be married at all since they obviously don't love their partner.
Found the post I was talking about.. sounds familiar:
Quote:
Well just be cautious. You never know people change all the time. What would you do if you were out grocery shopping alone and you came across a handsome and hottie guy who you couldn't resist and he kept flirting with you and he wanted to have a coffee date with you? Would you go with this guy out for coffee and keep it a secret from your husband?
That is what a call a dedicated husband. When you marry someone it is supposed to be the 2 couples together . Nothing wrong with staying home and being with the family. Strip clubs are for your single years when you are testing the waters of dating and sexual encounters. Not when you go in front of god and commit yourself to the person who you want to the spend the rest of your life with
I think ultimately, you just have to discuss these thoughts with him. It is your strong belief and you both should express to each other what you think about the situation.
Guys hit on me right here where I live. Heck, the guy who sold me my bike was young, handsome and putting on the moves and I ignored it. I won't be unfaithful to my husband because I love him and would never betray his trust. Just because I would be in another country doesn't pertain at all.
Heck, my husband flew for a living. He was in Thailand, Philippines, tons of countries where women can be had for a drink. I'm sure he was tempted at times, but I know how he feels about these things.
If someone is going to be unfaithful they can accomplish that on their lunch hour at work.
And you totally missed the joke.
So you can assume it is the same with your husband that he will not fool around behind your back when he travels on business? If you found out he did, would you talk it over with him or would he be out the door with all of his belongings when he got home?
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