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Hi. i really feel lost and need your advice.
First i' m 37 yrs old from Tunisia.
i joined online dating site and i met a pakistani guy who lives in uk last september. at that time i had health issue bcoz of my stomach but nothing serious. on the other hand i really lost weight. i told him about that and i need to recover first to meet him but he said that it s ok for him;he came to my country and we met. somehow we didn't click with each other maybe bcoz i was not really confident on that time.
in january i met another guy same nationality but british born also. both of them are successful, good looking and serious about relationship. but the first is very gentleman and the second one is just the opposite has a very strong personality.
to make it short both of them now want to meet (the second never met) and the first wants to come back.
i m 37 yrs old and want to get married but i don't know what to do.
although the second has a trong personality and seems difficult, i feel that he is more truthful but at the same time i feel that he can make me feel suffer later.
which do you prefer a man who has a lot of time for you but he likes to talk to people (which makes me think), easy guy or the opposite one a difficult character don't text only shortly, always busy (which makes me feel that he don't have time to play also...)
which one can make a woman live with him happier. i have to decide which one i have to meet.
sorry maybe it looks somehow strange as i can't write a book to explain everything and i m not good and expressing myself. but hope to get some help and thank you.
You're planning marriage based on the lukewarm approaches of two suitors you hardly know? Does the second man live nearby or are you simply dating via text?
As to the second guy, I think what you're seeing is what we in the West call "red flags". If your intuition is telling you that he may make you suffer later, listen to your intuition. Please. This does not sound good.
As to the first guy, you said you didn't click with him. I don't understand why you would want to give him a second chance.
I don't know your situation, but I'm guessing there's a cultural reason why you feel pressured to get married. But please, consider looking some more for a different man. You have two who are interested, so it probably won't be impossible to find another. And maybe the next one will be someone you don't have doubts about. I wish you luck.
well it's difficult to explain every detail but i will try to make it clear:
- first i couldn't find s.one in tunisia and that's why i went online dating site. in tunisia single men have a lot of problems including: alcohol not being able to afford marriage expenses, some are not really responsible etc plus it's not easy to find s.one who suits my age.
- second, the first guy i want to give him a second change because when we met it was my fault as it's me who felt unconfortable not because of him but because of my illness at that time. but after that we kept friendship for months and we've have been in contact almostly every day. he is very nice guy but to tell the truth the problem with him that he wants sex a lot and has a lot of free time as he has ppl who work for him. i need space just concerned how it would be living with him.
- the second guy i kept in contact with him too for months he tried many times to come but i said i won't do the same mistake twice i have to meet him when i will really recover. meanwhile the first guy wants to go back.
i needed your help because i feel confused about characters, one guy told me that you girls like difficult men who make you suffer. i asked him why you don't text that much and sometimes you don't answer and i know that he has a very strong personality but he kept telling me i'm always busy and once we meet up it's different. if it's just the only reason that's fine but i don't like a man to have that character all the time.
does a man who has a strong personality means that life is difficult with him?
by the way, they are muslims too so i couldn't see any cultural issues with them, we understand each other very well. although we are somehow as we say make a balance between east and west. i lived abroad and i'm an open minded person. just i've never met a man before with a character like the second man although i find him very attractive .
- and that's true it's a social pressure that i have to get married but also everyone has his own story. i can meet maybe a lot of other men and still everyone has his own story. there is no perfect match. but character is very important to me as i don't like to feel neglected and i have arguments.
also since two years i have been feeling that i really want to have a family and kids. it's natural
no it was by chance. the site is a muslims dating site. by chance many pakistani guys over there. i talked to them because i liked their profiles and they were nice.
also it was rare to find s.one at their age (42) without kids, they are. most of them were divorced with kids which i don't like frankly. also educated and modern and moderate religiously
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