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According to my friends, it's easy to get a girl (or girls if they're friends) to go out with you as part of a group - that could be presuming before hitting the bars or a day trip if she's somewhat aware of the other people. They added that it's not all too difficult to get a girl to go out with you on a date once.
The reason I make this post is because I'm not finding things easy. Forget asking a girl on a date, getting a girl to hang out with my group of friends for one night out on the town has been difficult enough. These girls aren't strangers - they're part of a large social group we're in and I know some of them well - but they either don't believe in me that they'll have a good time or they don't think highly of me. And get this - I'm not necessarily "interested" in some of the girls either (so not looking for more)! I roll with a good crew when it comes to getting attraction from girls, but it takes one of them to ask a girl for them to hang out with us.
I consider myself a normal guy who keeps in good physical shape and has an outgoing personality. The friends in our group who are good with girls say I have no major flaws in my game. Since we're on an online forum and we're all strangers IRL, asking what's causing this will probably lead to nowhere. However, I ask the following (to the girls):
- If a guy you know invites you out in a group setting for the night, how likely are you to accept?
- If a guy you know asks you out on a casual date (coffee, ice cream), how likely are you to accept?
In the past week, I've seen a messy, rather awkward guy with no game get an attractive girl to go out to the bars with him and his friends, AND THEN a guy I know that's been pursuing a girl for months finally get a date - and SHE paid! I know it sounds condescending on my part, but it's like living in bizarro world. I don't know what to believe anymore. Is it really that easy for guys, or am I simply witnessing a lot of fluke successes?
Any thoughts? From my understanding, dealing with the opposite gender has always been a numbers game. There's no way every other guy I know can be this efficient, right?
According to my friends, it's easy to get a girl (or girls if they're friends) to go out with you as part of a group - that could be presuming before hitting the bars or a day trip if she's somewhat aware of the other people. They added that it's not all too difficult to get a girl to go out with you on a date once.
The reason I make this post is because I'm not finding things easy. Forget asking a girl on a date, getting a girl to hang out with my group of friends for one night out on the town has been difficult enough. These girls aren't strangers - they're part of a large social group we're in and I know some of them well - but they either don't believe in me that they'll have a good time or they don't think highly of me. And get this - I'm not necessarily "interested" in some of the girls either (so not looking for more)! I roll with a good crew when it comes to getting attraction from girls, but it takes one of them to ask a girl for them to hang out with us.
I consider myself a normal guy who keeps in good physical shape and has an outgoing personality. The friends in our group who are good with girls say I have no major flaws in my game. Since we're on an online forum and we're all strangers IRL, asking what's causing this will probably lead to nowhere. However, I ask the following (to the girls):
- If a guy you know invites you out in a group setting for the night, how likely are you to accept?
- If a guy you know asks you out on a casual date (coffee, ice cream), how likely are you to accept?
In the past week, I've seen a messy, rather awkward guy with no game get an attractive girl to go out to the bars with him and his friends, AND THEN a guy I know that's been pursuing a girl for months finally get a date - and SHE paid! I know it sounds condescending on my part, but it's like living in bizarro world. I don't know what to believe anymore. Is it really that easy for guys, or am I simply witnessing a lot of fluke successes?
You're looking for logical rules and answers and there are none. A girl will go out with you if she likes you. As the poster in Denmark said- ask a trusted friend or relative if you are turning women off in some way. It might be something minor and easily correctable.
If it's a guy I know, even a guy in my circle of friends, but I'm not interested in him as a potential date/partner, I probably wouldn't go on a coffee/ice cream/whatever casual date with him. Or if I did, I'd take it as friends hanging out, not as a date. So then, he'd probably be disappointed, because he'd pick up on the friend-zone vibes. But I'd go out on a casual date even with a stranger, if he seemed at least pleasant and interesting. So--it's easy, but then again, it's not so easy to get a girl to go on a casual date with you. Or you may get her to go on the date, but she may not know it's' a "date", she may think of you as just a friend. Is that what you'd want--a non-date with a girl who wants to keep things at the friends level?
I would think it would be pretty easy to get a girl you know to go on a group outing for an evening, unless she doesn't like your friends, or isn't interested in the type of outing you suggest (beer and pool, but she doesn't drink, for example, or bowling, but she doesn't like bowling).
I used to think it was very hard. Me and my friends did nothing but play games and eat junk food all the time a year ago. Flash forward to now one of my friends is married, the other two have girlfriend's, and I have a girlfriend. It's really easy. Women are just people like you and me, they aren't mythical creatures.
In the past week, I've seen a messy, rather awkward guy with no game get an attractive girl to go out to the bars with him and his friends, AND THEN a guy I know that's been pursuing a girl for months finally get a date - and SHE paid! I know it sounds condescending on my part, but it's like living in bizarro world. I don't know what to believe anymore. Is it really that easy for guys, or am I simply witnessing a lot of fluke successes?
It seems like you're the one with no game.
Maybe you don't deserve an attractive girl. What do you have to offer? If you think asking a girl out is hard you probably have to work on your conversation skills.
I have been an observer of human behavior for a long time and I've been married a long time, but the formula for getting women to like you seems to actually be kind of simple, IMHO. Women are just as attracted to good looking men as men are to good looking women. Being funny and successful might help, but its probably easier to work on your looks and improve those.
First, it helps to be tall and have a masculine appearance. If you're short or overweight, that's not good. You can't do much about height, but being trim, with an athletic physique will help. If you don't have that, hit the gym, start exercising and lose some weight. BO and bad breath are also a turn off.
Second. Have an attractive head of hair. Keep clean. Dress in clean up to date, and not worn out old clothes. Nice shoes helps also.
Last thing you need is some confidence. That means not being afraid to talk to a woman, be friendly smile etc. The smell of desperation is bad. Its even better to be dating some woman rather than no women. And being open to other women makes you more attractive. Being a doormat, being at the beck and call of you gf makes you unattractive to others and even to the gf. Be a challenge. Have other things, interests and hobbies in your life. Don't chase them like a desperate puppy dog. Let them pursue you right away.
Other than that, I've got nothing. Good luck guys.
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